Last time on Bitches be crazy...

[UghRochester]

Does she know where you live? When she calls you and ask where you're at, tell her the part of the truth. Tell her you're at home in your boxers. If she ask why, tell her you didn't know what timezone it was. Also, is she calling your land-line phone or cell?

 

[danielrbischoff]

She's apparently very sorry and would like to go for dinner to make up for it.

Damn, Icepick. You must be hot shit! Well, at least this proves that girls love guys who are huge assholes.

 

[danielrbischoff]

Wow, this is one savage burn you're planning.

I have to see some evidence of this. We need pictures and shit.

 

[Optimus-Crime]

Yeah, you're not going to like what I have to say, but I can't be the only one who thinks you're looking at this the wrong way. Call the restaurant, tell the maitre d' that tonight was to be a very special night for you both but something came up. Order her the crème brûlée (they'll have it) and the courvoisier. Pay over the phone beforehand.
Text her apologizing, short and sweet, that you couldn't make it tonight. Work related.
Tell her the dessert is taken care of. She arrives, sits, eats and drinks and bingo, you've got a new fuck buddy.

You said she was kind of hot before, consider this doubling down. You're not going to have to spend any time at the restaurant, so there's no fuss involved there, you can sit at the house and chill. Meanwhile she's going high maintenance uptown in the restaurant eating dessert and sipping courvoisier. Shit, order her a Sprite just in case she can't drink it straight. dude, you could be fucking her tonight, smelling like cheetos. Putting in no effort, and maybe out 20 bucks? Dude, even if you don't fuck tonight that's like pussy in the bank. Setup a booty call for later.

There's nothing like breaking a feminazi. And if you can turn her into a simple fuck buddy? That's a fucking win.

or, fuck it. make her cry. You're not even gonna get to see it.

it's only 20 bucks, and you know she's going to be looking good tonight.

 

[Noritama]

 

[Icepick]

Yeah, you're not going to like what I have to say, but I can't be the only one who thinks you're looking at this the wrong way. Call the restaurant, tell the maitre d' that tonight was to be a very special night for you both but something came up. Order her the crème brûlée (they'll have it) and the courvoisier. Pay over the phone beforehand.
Text her apologizing, short and sweet, that you couldn't make it tonight. Work related.
Tell her the dessert is taken care of. She arrives, sits, eats and drinks and bingo, you've got a new fuck buddy.

You said she was kind of hot before, consider this doubling down. You're not going to have to spend any time at the restaurant, so there's no fuss involved there, you can sit at the house and chill. Meanwhile she's going high maintenance uptown in the restaurant eating dessert and sipping courvoisier. Shit, order her a Sprite just in case she can't drink it straight. dude, you could be fucking her tonight, smelling like cheetos. Putting in no effort, and maybe out 20 bucks? Dude, even if you don't fuck tonight that's like pussy in the bank. Setup a booty call for later.

There's nothing like breaking a feminazi. And if you can turn her into a simple fuck buddy? That's a fucking win.

or, fuck it. make her cry. You're not even gonna get to see it.

it's only 20 bucks, and you know she's going to be looking good tonight.

Being a fuck buddy with her isn't worth it, she's massive high maintenance, egomaniac, self centered, over all bitch who happens to also be a drunk.

And Dan, women may love assholes, but I always treat the fairer sex well, I'm not getting by on looks here

As for pics Dan, I'll see if I can get her to send one once her hairs done, and I'll upload any texts I get

 

[Optimus-Crime]

she's basically telling you she wants to get drunk and fuck. Why else would a vegan want to dine out at a steakhouse? Are you a bad enough dude to pass up a sure thing?

that she's all high maintenance and drinks, that's the best thing about friends with benefits. they're not girlfriends.

At least have her send a pic of what she's wearing so we can all see what you passed up. then we'll high five each other and jerk off to her pic together.

 

[Icepick]

she's basically telling you she wants to get drunk and fuck. Why else would a vegan want to dine out at a steakhouse? Are you a bad enough dude to pass up a sure thing?

that she's all high maintenance and drinks, that's the best thing about friends with benefits. they're not girlfriends.

At least have her send a pic of what she's wearing so we can all see what you passed up. then we'll high five each other and jerk off to her pic together.

I'm trying to get a pic captain, she's still getting ready though, I could give you a pic of her from earlier if you'd like.

And really she's not worth it, trust me, this is bitch is not only full of herself, but fucking crazy, and I don't think this dates so much as a "I wanna get drunk and fuck lulz" as much as she probably was made to feel pretty guilty from our mutual friend, at least that's the vibe I'm getting

As for the steak house, there really aren't any nice restaurants in this city, just chains

 

[NickKmet]

Yeah, I think this is going to result in her trying to kill you. Plus, what are your friends going to think about you after you stiff her like this? I mean, this is just downright cruel from a girl's perspective.

 

[Optimus-Crime]

i do get why you're doing what you're doing, but it's not practical.
you won't be there for the reaction pics, but, since she knows your friends, she'll probably berate them and you'll get a good story out of that

 

[Icepick]

Yeah, I think this is going to result in her trying to kill you. Plus, what are your friends going to think about you after you stiff her like this? I mean, this is just downright cruel from a girl's perspective.

The fuck do I care what they think of me, they set me up with a nutcase who chewed me out in public for no reason and threw a softdrink in my face

 

[NickKmet]

Yeah, I think this is going to result in her trying to kill you. Plus, what are your friends going to think about you after you stiff her like this? I mean, this is just downright cruel from a girl's perspective.

The fuck do I care what they think of me, they set me up with a nutcase who chewed me out in public for no reason and threw a softdrink in my face

I suppose, I suppose.

 

[Optimus-Crime]

i know you dont care and shit but, after tonight, she's probably gonna fuck one of your friends. no biggie, but just more bad joojoo it would seem like

 

[Icepick]

Picture received, I had to send her one of me in a suit in order to get it, she seems pretty convinced it's going through

 

[Icepick]

i know you dont care and shit but, after tonight, she's probably gonna fuck one of your friends. no biggie, but just more bad joojoo it would seem like

not a single fuck was given

she's already fucked a few people I know anyways, another reason I'm not too eager to get my dick wet

 

[Optimus-Crime]

she seems pretty convinced it's going through

Definitely. Game on!
psst, i'd still smash

 

[UghRochester]

She doesn't look that bad.
<_<
>_>
I don't know the guys that screwed her. Send her a picture of me with that horribly photoshop'd bane mask and tell her, "This creep is willing to fuck you, but not me. I'm too busy eating Cheetos and playing video games." It would be punishment for her and great night for me. It's a win/win situation

 

[danielrbischoff]

I didn't even mean a picture of her lol. But the thought of Icepick dressing up in a suit for this whole mess is pretty laughable.

And remind me never to throw a drink in Icepick's face.

 

[Longo_2_guns]

Ugh, you work at McDonalds. She'd probably crucify you.

 

[Icepick]

I didn't even mean a picture of her lol. But the thought of Icepick dressing up in a suit for this whole mess is pretty laughable.

And remind me never to throw a drink in Icepick's face.

suit up!