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Discussion in 'Films, TV, Music, Books, Etc.' started by BlackStar, Feb 3, 2011.
That'll do pig, that'll do.
My body is ready.
Say hello to Mizz RIGHT!
Randy Jackson's writer
Wait, you thought Randy Jackson from American Idol made up all those "YOU MY DAWG" quotes on the spot? Of course not! He's got a talented writer who writes his dialogue for him! And that writer just happens to be a lonely female looking for love this Valentine's Day. Say hello to Amy Tan; she also wrote some stupid book called The Joy Luck Club but I've never heard of it. Good luck buddy!
Hey man, alright let's see who we have for you...
Well I guess this settles it, Lady Gaga is NOT a man.... Although to be honest the machine can sometimes get confused. Ohhhh, wait a second, I forgot she's not a man, she's a hermaphrodite. Oh okay, then yeah that's cool. She's got both parts so I guess you could say she's a chick who acts like one of the boys! All the best!
for our doctor on the GR forums the machine has selected....
A sexy nurse
Heeeey, not bad Doc, you scored a nurse! This lovely nurse enjoys explosions and other forms of destruction. Maybe take her out to a monster derby. Don't mind her scars, in fact I'm sure they'll make great conversation as she explains to you how she got them! All the best for you date!
Alright Liquid, let's take a look at who you'll be taking out on a date this Valentine's Day...
A Reverse Mermaid
You like liquid, and so do mermaids, It's a match made in heaven! A reverse mermaid might not be as attractive, but she's more practical, amirite? Swimming is a perfect date, just head on down to the ocean and she'll be waiting for you!
*inserts Chris Crime*
Ahhh, I wonder how the machine will ever decide who is right for you Chris, I guess we'll find out right now....
Blockbuster manager Maya
Congrats Chris, you got one of the last remaining surviing managers from Blockbuster! I'd suggest watch a movie but she's probably seen everything. Why not go out skating? Like in Happy Gilmore where Happy takes that girl out on a date and says if she misses shooting the puck into the net she's gotta give him a kiss and she gets it in and she kisses him anyway! AWWWWWW <3
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Sign me up
Me too, again.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
My literal reaction. My body was not ready
A redhead, dude. Appreciate it, bro!
Moving right along, we've selected someone more compatible with you than eHarmony could ever find....
An insane, obsessed Twilight Fan
You might not be Edward, but you're good enough for Ericka here. Look forward to a night of all things Twilight. She's got EVERYTHING from Twilight bed sheets to a lock of Robert Patterson's hair... next to a vial of Robert Patterson's blood.... next to Robert Patterson tied, gagged and drugged with a black eye. She's probably not going to want to leave the house so stay in and watch a movie.
Never mind "me too, again". I made the rules very clear and now I've told the old lady what a mean person you are and she's gossiped to all the other gals! But chin up dude, I've got a lovely date for you this V Day!
Looks like you got the woman who broke up The Beatles, ummm, congrats? She's big into conceptual pretentious art that goes over my head. I'd suggest going out for some plums served in perfume served in a man's hat (yes I stole that from The Simpsons). But if things get serious between you two please learn to give each other space, don't bring her every God damn place you go to and call it art, that's all I ask. ENJOY YOUR DATE!
Haha! Keep going, for the sake of comedy.
Mean? MEAN?! YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M MEAN!
But still, I can dig it.
Am I the only one who thinks it's hilarious that a best selling writer has resorted to writing material Randy Jackson can use on American Idol? ROFL!
And thanks for the date, I'll be sure to bring some fish food for her..... :?
Why do I feel like this entire thread was a lead up to this massive advertisement.
GR does not support Blockbuster........ until they buy some ads.
Well it could have been worse i mean at least she is a girl thanks blackstar
Mine's hot..lol. Oh well, at least I can have a writer now
Sorry folks, what can I say? Life > GR But better late than never right? Looks like we have 3 more people who I will hook up a date for today!!!!
first up *inserts Nurgey*
For you on this fine day we have....
An angry soccer mom
She's single and looking for someone special but for the love of God don't go to her son's soccer game. She's ruthless to the bone. I'm pretty sure this pic was taking after she shot a guy for congratulating his son who was on the opposing team. Remember, if she asks you about her son he's the best at everything, even the things that he can't be good at because it would contradict the other things. Okay man? Good luck.
Next up we have Bret
Alrighty buddy, let's hook you up with your date for today! The machine has selected....
A World of Warcraft Avatar
Um, sorry man. I'm getting short on women so you will be going on a virtual date on WoW with a girl who goes by the name LuluCrazy4U_1982. I'm guessing she was born in 82? I dunno, makes sense right? Anyways, you guys will have a lovely time exploring the ummm *looks at sheet* Zui'Drak... did I pronounce that right? I'm sure she's a lovely girl just don't come off as a noob and she may fall for you. Be sure to invite me to the wedding at the Crystalsong Forest!
Last but not... first... it's Kapow
Today you'll be going out with....
WTF? I can't get Katy Perry! This machine is screwed up! I... oh wait, it's a Katy Perry blow up doll
Okay that makes more sense. Sorry, I should've read the whole thing! Today you'll be going out with you very own Katy Perry blow up doll. She takes 10-15 minutes to inflate and comes with a variety of wigs for you to choose from. Have fun you big stud you!
And there we have it folks, another Valentine's Day is upon us and I've hooked you all up with dates on this magical day! May you all have a wonderful time! AND REMEMBER, NO REFUNDS
*takes all your money and runs for the exit*
I'd take the Katy Perry doll anyway, because I could smack it and tell it how badly it sings without getting in trouble with the media.
This is ridiculously hilarious.
Sign me up.