Forever alone? Not anymore!

[BlackStar]

About your date MattAY, turns out she only likes black guys. But don't worry, I've got another non-asian for you. And now that I know MILF's are your thing...



Courtney Love

...you really didn't think you'd get off that easy did you? Hey, I made a pun.

 

[MattAY]

Haha good pun.

And I'm afraid "widowed crack whores" just happens to be my 3rd highest porn search.

 

[BlackStar]

..... damnit

I forgot British women have such horrible teeth that not even Courtney Love would turn you away. I should have roasted you with Longo in drag but who am I kidding, he's got pearly whites.

Anyone else need a date you just post in here.

 

[UghRochester]

I'm not going to lie, the results don't disappoint me

 

[spartan317]

Here's $20 for Sightless...

and another $20 for dobby...

Let's get these girls a date

 

[BlackStar]

That's not how it works!

But by posting in this thread I'll take your $40 and hook you up. Trust me, double the funds will double your pleasure.

*inserrts Spartan*

Ohhh not bad. A couple sexy demon chicks. Now let's meet the artist who you'll be dating.




Girl who can draw sexy demon chicks

You'll be set up with an artist. Take her out to an art gallery and then maybe have her paint you in the nude? Go get em buddy.

 

[spartan317]

Woo Hoo someone call the wife and tell her I'll be back in 10 minutes!!!

Better make it 3...........

 

[Bretimus_v2]

<rushes in room and hands over $20>

Quick, she'll notice if I'm gone too long!

 

[LinksOcarina]

Shut up and take my money.

*shells out $20*

 

[BlackStar]

*inserts Bretimus_v2*

Hey relax man. She won't know a thing. We value your secrecy.

*DATE FOR BRET SELECTED! DATE FOR BRET SELECTED!*

Oh sorry, that was the machine not me... But anyway, it's picked a date for you so let's see who it is....



Megan Fox

Whoa! Not bad buddy! Looks like you've got... wait? It's still printing...



Katy Perry

Hmmm? Ok, well looks like your date is Katy Perry! Still pretty damn good if you ask me. So- huh? what the hell?



Emma Stone

WTF is going on??? Ohhhh, I see, your date is....





Mystique

You've got a shape shifter! She can transform into anyone! You lucky dog you! Just imagine someone you want and she'll become that person for a steamy night of love. So who do you want?

.................................................... really? That;'s your fantasy? What a waste man.














*Inserts LinksOcarina*

I'm pretty sure every year you get someone from the Zelda series. I'm not sure how the machine is going to top Epona but we'll see.....










Princess Ruto

Well, looks like the machine has out done itself once again. By now you've probably dated every non-human female from the zelda series. That's quite an achievement! But as you know, at the Whacky Blacky dating service we don't deal with animated conceptions, you get the real deal. Here's what she looks like IRL.

Geez, they really did a lot of work to pretty her up in the game....

 

[danielrbischoff]

Welcome to Earth, Links.

 

[BlackStar]

Alright, looks like that concludes another edition of the whacky blacky machine.

Tune in next year for a day of love, romance, and mental scars you can never forget.

 

[Dobby2244]

$20 please find me a last minute date!

 

[Longo_2_guns]

NO!

 

[spartan317]

Don't do it dobby

 

[danielrbischoff]

Do it!

 

[Dobby2244]

 

[Icepick]

I really thought Katie in a valentines day match up thread would have had a larger response, one of two things has occurred

The forum has collectively matured

or, and the far more likely, everyone has died theory

 

[Optimus-Crime]

^option 3: The forum has come to terms with the distance between us and Skype sex is just too damned aggravating.

Lethean.

 

[WickedLiquid]

I missed out on this too. Welp, here's to Family Day. O Canada BlackStar!