Forever alone? Not anymore!

Discussion in 'Films, TV, Music, Books, Etc.' started by BlackStar, Jan 18, 2013.

  1. BlackStar

    BlackStar Rookie

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    Because your good old friend BlackStar is here for the 27th annual Whacky Blacky Dating service.
    [​IMG]

    Yes, that's right gents! Step right up and I'll find you a date for this upcoming Valentine's Day! You won't be lonely on the 14th with me around! All you need is some dashing good look-... um, I mean all you need is a winning personality-.... Shit...


    ....All you need is $20! That's right $20 .You won't regret it! But don't take my word for it, just listen to past clients.



    Just insert your name by replying in this thread and true love awaits. So what do you think?
     
    #1
  2. Optimus-Crime

    Optimus-Crime Rookie

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    AHH YES! Today's turning out great!

    I have twenty American, not Canadian. Sorry ABOOT that, hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahe heh, Canada.
    I need a date for my special day. Birthday? No. Tests results comin in, and I'm expecting good news this time! So fire it up for me.
    fingers crossed! for the test results, but for this too!
    Like an 80s LL Cool J, I need Love.
     
    #2
  3. BlackStar

    BlackStar Rookie

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    First up is Chris!
    *Inserts Optimus Crime*

    And for you we have the chick from the video Thriller

    [​IMG]

    Hey, wait, come back! He's not THAT bad! Hey! HEEEEEEEY!


    Aw fuck. She ran off. But don't worry, since you're my bro you get a 2 for 1.





    *Inserts Chris Crime*
    Now let's try this again shall we?
    The machine has selected....



    In Living Color Fly Girl
    [​IMG]

    You two can do what you wanna do... In Living Color. But I would suggest dancing, like go out to a 90's night club and fly dance that shit till it ain't fly no more. It's been awhile since she was a poipular fly girl and since then she's gone blind. So no worries bro, this one ain't runnin.
     
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  4. Optimus-Crime

    Optimus-Crime Rookie

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    The only running going on is my Running Man dance moves! Yo, DJ! Hit that funky track one time for ya mind, boyeeee--whoa, she's gone.

    Welp.

    bbl, chasing down that Thriller cutey.
     
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  5. Mod-Chip

    Mod-Chip Rookie

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    GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY CHRIS I'M NEXT
     
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  6. danielrbischoff

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    Fly dancing here I come!
    *Pulls giant lever...


    Eww, gross. Put that thing away BlackStar!
     
    #6
  7. Gunner37

    Gunner37 Rookie

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    I guess I will be the next contestant after dan cant wait to see my prize
     
    #7
  8. maca2kx

    maca2kx Rookie

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    I've only got £20 but that's ok, it's worth more than $20.

    [​IMG]
     
    #8
  9. GRColin

    GRColin Rookie

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    Lol American money joke! Real original Sam!

    :p
     
    #9
  10. Optimus-Crime

    Optimus-Crime Rookie

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    Lethean, you said you were just going out for cigarettes. What the fuck, man. Fix my join date.
     
    #10
  11. GRColin

    GRColin Rookie

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    Sorry. Had to drive cross country for my Virginia slims (with Menthol!). I'd have perpetual sand on my vag if I didn't get my slims.

    Anyways. I asked someone to change it. I've been bitching off and on about how it won't let me and no one has done anything to fix that so...Let's see if Longo or someone can get it taken care of. Request sent!
     
    #11
  12. De-Ting

    De-Ting Rookie

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    Can I just get a date with the machine? No? Okay...

    *inserts a neatly folded $20*
     
    #12
  13. Sourdeez

    Sourdeez Rookie

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    #13
  14. maca2kx

    maca2kx Rookie

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    No reviews, how surprising.
     
    #14
  15. used44

    used44 Forum Moderator
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    Great, now that will be in my Recommendations Based on Recently Viewed Items. Can't wait.
     
    #15
  16. BlackStar

    BlackStar Rookie

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    Damn nigga, I'm not Longo. I have a life and a job!




    But let's get started shall we?

    *Inserts Mod-Chip*
    Or is it BBK? Meh, screw it, I already have your money and I inserted your name.For you the machine has selected...

    Kristie Alley!
    [​IMG]

    I know you were probably expecting a gangbang. Well technically she is like, 4 people, so it works. Take her out for tacos, then McDonalds, then pizza, then she'll get tired and you'll have to take her home. That's when you get youlr groove on.









    *inserts danielrbischoff*

    GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY LEVER! This machine is only for professionals! How else ae you going to get matched up with Ms. Right? And here she is...


    Slippy!
    [​IMG]

    Here comes a BIG ONE! Unleash your inner lust for this whimsical toad and take him out on the 14th across to a nice planet on the otherside of the galaxy. Just nothing past second base, he's a classy frog.









    *inserts Gunner*

    Wait, where's the money? ...Yeah that's more like it Ok for you we've got.


    Some passed out MILF
    [​IMG]

    Ah! You're in luck! See that woman passed out over there? That's your date. If she's sober by the 14th I'd suggest taking her out to a bar. She enjoys drinking, yelling and spreading herpes. Have fun!
     
    #16
  17. BlackStar

    BlackStar Rookie

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    *inserts Maca2kx*

    Your currency jokes don't work in Canada, we get paid in syrup. But regardless, let's see who we've got for youuuuuu.

    Why it's a steretypical "OH NO YOU DIDN'T!" Black woman!
    [​IMG]

    Take her out for dinner, and enjoy her correct everyone she meets by explaining to them that they did not actually say or do what they really said or did!










    *Inserts Lethean*

    *rubs eyes* can it be??? Is it really you? For those who don't remember, Lethean's stage name was Ben Affleck, he was married to J Lo until Chris (aka Marc Anthony) stole her away. Well don't worry old buddy old pal! I'll hook you up with the right person, just you wait. Affleck's making a comeback baby, and it's called Argo! Now let's see who we've got for you...







    [​IMG]

    ...I fuckin knew it. It's all this UFC, isn't it?









    *Inserts De-Ting*

    Ok guy, now is your time to shine. On Valentine's Day you'll be hooked up with none other than...

    A Playstation Avatar
    [​IMG]

    Wipe the semen off your controller it's time to take wet-n-juicy69 out on a steamy online date. I tried to get a picture of her IRL... trust me, you don't want it. Take her through all the romantic ventures on Playstation home complete with 12 year old trolls and countless women who are really dudes (like I said, you DON'T want to see her pic IRL)
     
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  18. Green_Lantern

    Green_Lantern Forum Moderator
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  19. Mod-Chip

    Mod-Chip Rookie

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    Thanks Blackstar! She's everything I've ever wanted! If 6 out of 5 stars 3 thumbs up best dating service ever!!
     
    #19
  20. GiftedMonkey

    GiftedMonkey Rookie

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    Does the machine give change? I only have this $50 bill grandma gave me at Christmas. I have my debit card too, if that works. I could also pay through my amazon account, but truth be told, those third party things always make me kinda nervous.
     
    #20

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