Forever alone? Not anymore!

[BlackStar]

*inserts Sourdeeznuts*
Oh-ho! Wait a sec! Boy would my face have been red! Ok, let's try this again

*Inserts Sourdeez*
Ok, for you we have...


Honey Boo-Boo's mother

Oh man, we're getting way too many fatties this year. See, this is what happens when nobody gives a shit about the obesity crisis in America. It starts affecting us all! Anyway, ew, God, what do you say about this one. Just have fun......???









*inserts used*
Alaska huh? Well that's a no brainer!



An Eskimo!

Damn, you're easy. Come back next year.









*inserts Green Lantern*

Hey, looks like we got a super hero looking for love. Let's see who we've got for Ryan Renolyds....

Uh, WTF man....

 

[GRColin]

Fuck yeah! And I didn't even have to pay!

Wait...Matt Damon?! WTF?

I mean he's cool and all but uhh...He's..You know...

NO HUGH JACKMAN!!

I mean look at those pearly whites. I should hope his pearl necklaces are as pearly as those teeth!

 

[BlackStar]

Yeah, as if Ben Affleck would date Hugh Jackman! GET REAL.

 

[Wes]

Sign me up. And if I get a fatty or a male I'll know you've gone stale.

 

[BlackStar]

*Inserts Gifted Monkey*
Here, I'll take the 50 bucks and we'll work out the details later.....



Nicki Minaj

You got yourself some sweet sweet brown sugar! Did you know: Hey last name is short for Menage a Trois? Neither did I! And not only will you get Nicki on Valentine's Day, you'll get her friend in a steamy hot threesome!

Hey, it's not gay, when it's in a 3-way. Unless he tries to ass rape you, then that's like, super gay.









*inserts Wes*

Going stale? Hey Wes you hear that? .....
That's the sound of you shutting the fuck up. Who do I have for you?


Your hand

Because no woman is good enough for your ego.

 

[maca2kx]

No reviews, how surprising.

Damn homie, I'm not Longo. I have a life and a job!

I meant Sourdeez's vibrating fleshlight had no reviews! Does that mean I can get my sassy black woman upgraded to... I don't know, Amber Stevens?

 

[Sourdeez]

Nicki Minaj

Gets me every time.

 

[UghRochester]

Here, I got one free ticket! I know how you match up people by similarities, but please don't give me someone liking McDonald's.

 

[De-Ting]

*Inserts De-Ting*
A Playstation Avatar

I'm not even sure if the avatar is a woman...

 

[Longo_2_guns]

Damn homie, I'm not Longo. I have a life and a job!

Hey, I have a life!


Oh, wait, no I don't. Whoops, my bad.

 

[cyberjim2000]

I want loves too.

 

[Affen]

All the other dating services suck. You're my only hope for finding real love Blackstar.

 

[Icepick]

shut up and take my money

 

[BlackStar]

*inserrts Ugh*

Ugh my man, I will ensure you you'll meet the woman who will change your life.

Wendy from Wendy's! It's time to walk into McDonalds and tell your boss "Fuck you, I'm going to Wendy's!" Then go meet Ms. Right at your local Wendy's restaurant. I've reserved the ball room buddy, just be cool.








*inserrts Longo*

Because nobody complained I can't dely this shit. You already violated an asain Santa so I'd just say her. But for $20 you'll want an official read out from the machine...




Urban's Santa

Oh man, that can't be right. I was thinking Neckbeard Santa or Daniel Claus or a Santa where it's not Dan. See, my Santa had hoes and he could've gladly offered you his foot rest ho. But fuckin GR voted the Asian, just like the one you violated, only way way more fuckable. But I'm getting off track. Yo Urbz! Any advice for Longo? Does he make a good wingman or is he a fuckin pedo?




*insers cyberjim*

You know what I realized? I don't know who the fuck you are *shakes* I'm BlackStar. Mind if I call you Jim? Ok Jim. For you we have...






Single White Ho

Congrats! You've been accepted as a contestant on FOX's new reality show Single White Ho. You, along with 19 other men will compete for her heart by picking her up for a "date". Unfortunately you were entered last so you've got 19 dudes ahead of you who are gonna hit that. But if she picks you on the 14th during the season finale you'll have Ms. Right on VD, I mean vanerial day, FUCK, VALENTINE'S DAY. Good luck Jim. GR tune into FOX for Single White Ho.

 

[MattAY]

Bahaha!

$20 brudda! I made sure it was used to snort up coke - it's a good one.

 

[BlackStar]

*inserts Affen*

The other dating services are terrible I agree. Although this year we're sponsered by Craigslist so we've got to let the machine search Craigslist just once. Sorry man, guess you're the unlucky one...




http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/w4m/3558430863.html


Oh shit you're not American, well I'll fly her out to one of those Euro countries who play soccer. Trust me my friend, New York City have the best women! Well, I can't speak for this one. And... uh... is she missing a face? Holy shit....







*inserts Icepick*

Icepick you would've made a great New Yorker. Which is why I didn't let Craigslist pick some creepy bitch with no face. You get the real deal, your date is....





A Bitch Bein Craziest than Crazy

Damn, you thought the girl you trolled was crazy? You don't even know how crazy this bitch gets. One night with her on Valentine's Day and you may just live to tell the Ultimate Bitches Be Crazy story.

Bitches Be Crazy T-shirts now being sold on Crave.

 

[BlackStar]

*Inserts MattAY*

Since you own every single God Damn Asian you probably know I have none to give. You've even taken over Afghanistan. WTF man? But maybe you're finally sick of Asians? Ah, you finally want a new race, that's why you came to me, isn't it? Ok then for you I've got the complete opposite of Asian.







A woman who looks older than 14

Hmm? she looks older than 40 but the title is still true

 

[MattAY]

Milf is probably my second most used search term in porn.

Blackstar you fucking KNOW me dude!

 

[Affen]

I couldn't have hoped for a better outcome. I'm going to save a huge amount in paper bag expenses. Distance means nothing these days.

 

[Icepick]

I'm not going to lie, the results don't disappoint me