JOKETIME: A guy goes to the doctor...
- Thread starter Silios
- Start date
tinymhg
Rookie
A man is taking a tour of an mental asylum where he may move a disturbed relative. His guide is a young doctor. The first room the doctor shows him is bright and has many docile people sitting in it. As the man looks around he notices a woman swing her arms around while running side to side. The young doctor smiles and says: “This is Ruth she has the delusion she is a world class tennis star.â€
Bretimus_v2
So tired.
What does Michael Jackson love about twenty seven year olds?
There's twenty of them.
Several years back, Donald Rumsfeld was giving the president his daily briefing. He concluded by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaimed. "That's terrible!"
His staff sat stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sat, head in hands.
Finally, the President looked up and asked, "How many is a brazillion?"
There's twenty of them.
Several years back, Donald Rumsfeld was giving the president his daily briefing. He concluded by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaimed. "That's terrible!"
His staff sat stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sat, head in hands.
Finally, the President looked up and asked, "How many is a brazillion?"
intoTheRain
Regular
Knock knock
Who's there?
Cargo
Cargo who?
Cargo vroom vroom beep beep!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Peanut
Peanut who?
Peanut the beds on fire!
Who's there?
Cargo
Cargo who?
Cargo vroom vroom beep beep!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Peanut
Peanut who?
Peanut the beds on fire!
Rakon
Rookie
What's worse than a dead baby stapled to a tree?
Ten babies stapled to a tree
What's worse than ten babies stapled to a tree?
One baby stapled to ten trees.
What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a corvette in my garage
How do you make a 6 year old cry twice?
Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear
How do you keep a baby from falling down a well?
Stick a javelin through it's head
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
My breakfast
And my personal favourite:
What's the difference between a dead baby and a cinnamon bun?
I don't jizz on a cinnamon bun before I eat it
Ten babies stapled to a tree
What's worse than ten babies stapled to a tree?
One baby stapled to ten trees.
What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a corvette in my garage
How do you make a 6 year old cry twice?
Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear
How do you keep a baby from falling down a well?
Stick a javelin through it's head
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
My breakfast
And my personal favourite:
What's the difference between a dead baby and a cinnamon bun?
I don't jizz on a cinnamon bun before I eat it
StickyGreenGamer
Rookie
Ah, dead baby jokes. Life.
This isn't so much a joke but...when I need a good laugh, I just go browsing through http://losangeles.craigslist.org/mis/
This isn't so much a joke but...when I need a good laugh, I just go browsing through http://losangeles.craigslist.org/mis/
Eyebrowsbv31
Rookie
this one only really works in real time, but...
A bear walks into a bar, the bartender says "what'll have?"
And the bear says "I'll have a beer."
The bartender responds, "Alright, but why the big pause?"
say it out loud.
A bear walks into a bar, the bartender says "what'll have?"
And the bear says "I'll have a beer."
The bartender responds, "Alright, but why the big pause?"
say it out loud.
Lien
Rookie
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/154059/johnny-many-moonsEyebrowsbv31 said:
Gunner37
Rookie
Three guys are playing golf one hits the ball into the water so he just parts the water and chips it in for a birdie.
The next guys hits into the same pond but the ball just stays on top of the water so he just walks on the water and chips it in for a birdie.
The final guys just drives the ball a mile and shanks it left then it hits a bird, bounces on a golf cart, hits a tree and it bounces into the hole for a hole in one.
The first guy tells the second guy, "I hate playing with your dad."
The next guys hits into the same pond but the ball just stays on top of the water so he just walks on the water and chips it in for a birdie.
The final guys just drives the ball a mile and shanks it left then it hits a bird, bounces on a golf cart, hits a tree and it bounces into the hole for a hole in one.
The first guy tells the second guy, "I hate playing with your dad."
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