JOKETIME: A guy goes to the doctor...

Discussion in 'Films, TV, Music, Books, Etc.' started by Silios, Aug 21, 2011.

  1. tinymhg

    tinymhg Rookie

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    Question: What does an 80 year old smell like?

    Answer: Depends.

    Funniest thing is I heard this one in a nursing home.
     
    #21
  2. tinymhg

    tinymhg Rookie

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    A man is taking a tour of an mental asylum where he may move a disturbed relative. His guide is a young doctor. The first room the doctor shows him is bright and has many docile people sitting in it. As the man looks around he notices a woman swing her arms around while running side to side. The young doctor smiles and says: “This is Ruth she has the delusion she is a world class tennis star.â€
     
    #22
  3. De-Ting

    De-Ting Rookie

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    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Hatch.

    Hatch who?

    Gesundheit.
     
    #23
  4. MattAY

    MattAY Forum Moderator
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    ^ Haha. Simple but effective....I LIKE IT!
     
    #24
  5. Bretimus_v2

    Bretimus_v2 So tired.

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    What does Michael Jackson love about twenty seven year olds?


    There's twenty of them.






    Several years back, Donald Rumsfeld was giving the president his daily briefing. He concluded by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

    "OH NO!" the President exclaimed. "That's terrible!"

    His staff sat stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sat, head in hands.

    Finally, the President looked up and asked, "How many is a brazillion?"
     
    #25
  6. De-Ting

    De-Ting Rookie

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    That one always gets me. :p
     
    #26
  7. intoTheRain

    intoTheRain Regular

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    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Cargo
    Cargo who?
    Cargo vroom vroom beep beep!

    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Peanut
    Peanut who?
    Peanut the beds on fire!
     
    #27
  8. Rakon

    Rakon Rookie

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    What's worse than a dead baby stapled to a tree?

    Ten babies stapled to a tree

    What's worse than ten babies stapled to a tree?

    One baby stapled to ten trees.


    What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies?

    I don't have a corvette in my garage


    How do you make a 6 year old cry twice?

    Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear


    How do you keep a baby from falling down a well?

    Stick a javelin through it's head


    What happens when you put a baby in a blender?

    My breakfast


    And my personal favourite:

    What's the difference between a dead baby and a cinnamon bun?

    I don't jizz on a cinnamon bun before I eat it
     
    #28
  9. StickyGreenGamer

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    #29
  10. De-Ting

    De-Ting Rookie

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    Oh yeah, that's why I broke up with you, Rakon.

    ...Huh.
     
    #30
  11. Rakon

    Rakon Rookie

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    My affinity for dead babies had nothing to do with our break up. It was you forgetting to put the seat down. EVERYTIME you went I'd tell you, but you never listened.
     
    #31
  12. De-Ting

    De-Ting Rookie

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    Haha. Honestly, I did that just to bug you. You obviously didn't take it as a joke, though. >.>
     
    #32
  13. Lien

    Lien Rookie

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    Better a guy who never puts the toilet seat down, then one that never puts it up...

    That's my joke... *taps microphone*
     
    #33
  14. Eyebrowsbv31

    Eyebrowsbv31 Rookie

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    this one only really works in real time, but...


    A bear walks into a bar, the bartender says "what'll have?"







    And the bear says "I'll have a beer."
    The bartender responds, "Alright, but why the big pause?"


    say it out loud.
     
    #34
  15. used44

    used44 Forum Moderator
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    Like paws, guys.
     
    #35
  16. MattAY

    MattAY Forum Moderator
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    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooohhhhhhhhhh...................


    ..........I dont get it.
     
    #36
  17. Lien

    Lien Rookie

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    http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/154059/johnny-many-moons
     
    #37
  18. tinymhg

    tinymhg Rookie

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    Good laugh Lien. :lol:
     
    #38
  19. Gunner37

    Gunner37 Rookie

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    Three guys are playing golf one hits the ball into the water so he just parts the water and chips it in for a birdie.

    The next guys hits into the same pond but the ball just stays on top of the water so he just walks on the water and chips it in for a birdie.

    The final guys just drives the ball a mile and shanks it left then it hits a bird, bounces on a golf cart, hits a tree and it bounces into the hole for a hole in one.

    The first guy tells the second guy, "I hate playing with your dad."
     
    #39
  20. tinymhg

    tinymhg Rookie

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    A Catholic priest, a Jewish Rabbi, and a Native American Shaman walk into bar. The bartender looks up and says: “What is this? Some kind of joke?â€
     
    #40

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