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Discussion in 'Films, TV, Music, Books, Etc.' started by Silios, Aug 21, 2011.
took me a second but i lol'd
This guy gets a tattoo of a hundred dollar bill on his penis and goes home to tell his wife. His wife asks why he did it and he said there were four reasons why.
1. I like to play with my money
2. I like the way money feels in my hand
3. I like to watch my money grow
4. And finally instead of you going and spending 100 dollars you can blow it at home instead
There once was a girl from Tralee
who was raped by an ape in a tree.
The offspring was horrid
all ass and no forehead
three balls and a purple goatee.
A mexican dude catches his daughter snorting cocaine in their bathroom.
He immediately slaps her, grabs her by the back of the neck and says,
"Hey - cut that $h!* out. If I catch you doing that again -
I'll rub your fvking nose in it"
" I'll rub your fuking nose in it!" hahaha
"I"LL RUB YOUR FVCKIN NOSE IN IT!" HAHAHAHAH
I was gonna say that Tiny was one sick F*** but then, only urban would find a daughter abuse scenario funny.
You win this round.
DAMN IT! :evil:
There once was a man from Boston
who bought himself an Aston.
He had room for his ass,
and a gallon of gas,
but his balls hung out and he lost â€˜em.
Itâ€™s late one night in the middle of the Mojave desert when a flying saucer lands next to Gas station. The two little grey aliens climb out and walk up the nearest fuel pump.
The first little alien says to the fuel pump: â€œEarthling take us to your leader!â€
How do you know when your girlfriend is getting too fat?
She starts wearing your wifes clothes.
A boy and his grandpa are fishing together. The grandpa pulls the tab on a beer, and takes a long swallow. "Can I have a beer too, grampy?", says the boy. "Can you touch your dick to your asshole?", the old man asks. "No", the boy says, and hangs his head. "Sorry, then you can't have any" replied his grandfather.
A few months later, the boy and his grandpa walk into a convenience store. The boy buys a lottery ticket, and wins a thousand dollars.
"Can I have some of that money, boy?", the old man says.
"Can you touch your dick to your asshole?", the boy asks.
"Why yes, yes I can!"
"Then go fuck yourself!"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, itâ€™s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."