I think my boss wants to ****

[Optimus-Crime]

She's always finding reasons to touch me and shit. around my waste...on my arms. She way too approving of any little thing I do, like it just so overly excited at how I can walk and chew bubblegum at the same time. It's a bunch of little shit, it's just weird. She sang to me tonight. Like, less than a foot away from my face. My boss. she just gets in soo close. At first, I had thought it was just her nature, but damn. Any closer and she'll go through to the other side of me.

Oh yeah, and she's getting married in 26 days.

I could totally fuck if I wanted to. But should I? I've never met her husband to be, but she seems like a total fucking flirt when he's not around. As each day passes she's finding new ways to touch me or get close to me, or finding ways to compliment me on a job well done. "Oh, nice job picking up that heavy cinder block. No...really...nice job."
mfw :shock:
note: not really a cinder block, but you get the point. That compliment was over the line. It wasn't like I had fucking invented the telephone, and there was no need for all of that forced sexual tension.

Having said that, I totally would. She looks delicious. BUT, married soon. Bros, 1 chick, should I go ahead and slay the pussy? Yorky, what would Jesus do? I think he'd fuck, bro, because this chick is, like, super flirtatious. I dunno, man. We're gonna find out. I've got 26 days until....ahh, nvm, I'd still fuck her after 26 days.

OR NOT! Because she'd be married and that's wrong
naw, I'd still fuck her.

Blame her, man. She, like, fucking...it's either I fuck her and finish it or I sue for sexual harassment...and I'd rather just save us all the hassle and fuck her and get it over with.
What should I do? Have you ever been hit on by your boss? Longo? For some reason...I'm thinking Longo, but it's not a sexy boss fucks employee scenario with him, it's a police should get involved and send his boss off to jail for years NBC's To Catch a Predator sort of scenario. But still, this like screams Longo to me for some reason...

 

[De-Ting]

She's always finding reasons to touch me and shit. around my waste...

LOL!

[/thread]

 

[UghRochester]

Oh I get what you're saying, Crime. I had a boss that I didn't know whether she wanted to screw or not. She made sexual jokes all the time and she gets my Friends references, because we both like that show...a lot. Anyways, this one time I logged her on the PC in the office, so I can read my messages. She came in a couple minutes later and said, "Oh boy, I always wanted a human chair" or something like that. Then she sat on me. One time she flicked my man boob, so I did the same to her. Don't know if she was just teasing or joking or whatever.

One day, she was transferred to another restaurant. To this day I don't know if she wanted to f*ck or not. I still socialize with her on various times via Twitter.

 

[cyberjim2000]

One time she flicked my man boob

:shock:

 

[Optimus-Crime]

No, De-Ting, it wasn't spelled incorrectly. I cannot emphasize enough the boundaries that she is crossing! That's what it felt like anyway! ...Fuck! Okay, you got me. And fuck this spell checker.



So...having an affair? Can that be a topic? Has it ever happened to anyone here? Or is everyone a fucking saint except for Icepick and I? Icepick, you may be my only hope.
I'd ask for BBK to share but lord knows his stories are bordering on the perverted to illegal.

Or, I don't know. What's your favorite ice cream?

Is that what you want guys, god damn you? Because I can change this whole fucking thread, and we can keep living in this gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Is that what you fucking want!!! Who's your favorite Yo Gabba Gabba character? You fucking assholes make me sick!

But I'd be down for a What's your favorite comic book power. Me? I'd go with Nightcrawler. Flying looks cool, but the ability for instant transportation to and from any destination just makes a whole lot more sense.



edit: wait a minute. Ugh. You flicked her nipple.. pfft--hawhaha, wtf? And she was just cool with that!
hmmm...McDonald's After Hour Confessions, you have my complete and undivided attention.

 

[Icepick]

Do it, then inform her soon to be husband and save him the trouble of getting hitched to a fucking skank

You get sex, and you do the right thing, win win?

 

[Optimus-Crime]

That's just it too. He seems like a bro. Not that I actually know him, but she talks about him all of the time. She brags about that guy like crazy.
Which makes it even worse she's getting awkwardly close to me behind stage!

She's described the wedding cake they're getting to a T. I mean, I know I'm not going to break up their marriage, that's definitely not going to happen and I wouldn't want to anyway. Plus I'm down for hitting it, but not marrying it. You'd just think, or hope even, that she'd know when to pull off, especially with her wedding right around the corner. Nope. She's finding ways to get her hand into mine. Or put her hands on my body. Dude, she's smooth about it, too. Like it's my fault I'm getting the bad touch from my boss, what did I expect?

Maybe...maybe she's one of those open relationship types? Which is actually kind of hot because she's that weird hybrid of conservative foundation meets a 21st century outlook on life. Sort of a hippie but wouldn't smoke the marijuana, you get me?

Something plumpkin said a long time ago always stuck with me because it made me laugh like fucking mad. In the PYP thread, some girl posted a picture (first to correctly guess who wins a sticker)...anyway, his reply to the picture was short and sweet.

I'd put.

Well, yeah, my boss? I'd put.

I wouldn't tell him though. What do I look like, a home wrecker? What's casual sex among coworkers? It's like sharing a bottle of water...or taking said water bottle and forcing it into an orifice or cavity.

 

[C_nate]

To be perfectly honest, I would say it depends on your age and situation. It happened to me a long time ago but the situation was a little bit different. When it is with someone you work for directly whether it be a co-worker or boss it can get messy and I'm not just talking about the cleanup afterwards.

When I was much younger and handsomer and more fit I worked in a mail room at a law firm. I didn't work for the firm itself but for a company that contracts with places like that to take care of all their tedious, menial bullshit. It was a pretty small firm, about 3 floors in a building in downtown Chicago. On my "route" was the accounts payable / receivable department which was about 95% women. And I tell you that women are worse than men when it comes to harassment. These hens were undressing me with their eyes every time I walked through the place. I would get snacks, treats, even massages on some days.

There was one lady in particular that was a little more aggressive than the rest. She was a nice looking latina women, older with kids but not old old. At the time she was probably in her mid to late 30's while I was a fresh faced 21 or so. After getting to know her better she started with the sob story. Her husband is never home, They are more like business partners than husband and wife and so on and so forth. I knew where this was going and I was young and single at the time so I didn't give a fuck. One evening she picked me up late and during our drive we made a little detour behind a store in a empty parking lot and she umm (whats a delicate way to say this...) went bobbing for apples. It didn't turn into a full blown affair because shortly afterwards my company contracted to a new firm and asked me to transfer to get it off to a running start so there was no awkward moment of having to break things off.

At another place I worked at this young african american woman I worked with indirectly, took a liking to me and started asking me a bunch of sexual questions. Then one day out of the blue she brought in a bunch of photos she had printed out. It was of her and her husband having sex. Like xxx, hardcore porn images. So she was a little more direct and blunt in her message. We fooled around a little (some grabass and making out and stuff but I didn't go further cause she wanted me to go to her house and no way was I going to be that guy you read about on the news that got killed cause the husband came home early one day.) so I ended that one early.

But it turned ugly at another company I worked at. I was a supervisor and got involved with a woman who worked there. It was ok at first but through sheer coincidence she got moved to my shift and people started to talk The manager was starting to ask questions since they frown upon co-workers messing around but a supervisor messing around with a subordinate was strictly forbidden. What made it even worse was that I did so happen to have a gf at the time (it wasn't a serious relationship, but still...) and I made the dumbass mistake of leaving some graphic (re:nude) pics this girl sent me of herself on my phone which of course was found one day because I dropped my phone in the car and my gf saw it the next day and brought it back to me...after looking through everything first of course. I wound up having to quit that job. Wasn't good times.

So I guess the tl;dr version would be that if you were going to still be working for her every day I would actually advise against it as the situation could turn sour in a hurry but if you or her were leaving and would not have to see each other much or at all afterwards I would say go for it. Assuming you were not also in a committed relationship either.

 

[Optimus-Crime]

She's telling me she's leaving the company after the holiday season.

I know she wants to leave but there's always that chance that she could stay. I think she's playing hardball with payroll quite honestly, but do I believe she would quit just to get her point across? Yes.

Who knows, maybe nothing happens and she's just a touchy-feely person. Sure is aggravating though. She's doing the whole showing me more angles down her shirt game, scratching her lower back exposing her panties deal. It's very Jr High right now. For my part, I'm still playing it cool. I don't know where it's going, but I'm enjoying it. It's fun, or maybe that's better said cute, and no one's getting hurt yet.

As for her boyfriend, I'm not really thinking about him. I've been that guy before. It sucked. I've also been in the seat that I'm in now, the "other guy." It's awesome but short-lived. I met this one woman who really threw me for a loop. I was still trying to be the white knight good guy but she made me realize it wasn't about any of that, and what it's really about is a man and a woman both sides being equal making a choice. The only right choice for her was being with me even though she had a boyfriend. You gotta respect that. Ethically? ehh.. But at least we were honest with ourselves.

 

[Icepick]

until men stop thinking with their dicks, women will always be able to run this BS game and get away with it, you're not helping

my two cents anyways, although to be honest, I'd fuck her, so I'm not some white knight

 

[Optimus-Crime]

You may be right. The same woman who taught me women have just as much say-so in cheating as men do ended up getting married herself and roasted me via text message with something about am I still trying to fuck married women, and why haven't I given that up or something to that effect.

Women's rights! PBTHSHBHHB'''! naw but she's got some nerve.

 

[Mod-Chip]

I think you're way in over your head with this one. Unless your boss makes it incredibly obvious that she wants to bone you, I'd recommend steering clear. The consequences could be pretty, pretty bad.

 

[Icepick]

i'm anti feminism, not because I have a problem with women, but because it conflicts with my "pro-equality" stance, those touting pro feminism aren't looking for equality, they're looking for them to be treated superior to men

case in point, a mine in Canada, I forget the name of the company but I'm sure I could find it if I bothered to look

The office workers and payroll/human resources was exclusivly women, the miners were men, not through sexist reasons, but the mining trade doesn't have a large number of female workers

the office workers felt it was unfair that the men were paid more than their female counterparts, despite not doing the same work. They filed a lawsuit and won, because on paper women were paid less, no thought was put towards their different fields

so the owner of the company outsourced all the office work to another company, he didn't fire any of the female employees, just informed them the next week they'd be in safety training for their eventual move to the mining force. Equal pay means equal work, only 2 of the female employees showed up, they essentially talked themselves out of a job


anyways back onto the topic at hand, workplace relationships never work, at least in my experience, I was dating someone who worked under me in the company, seemed great, things worked well, I helped her with her work to the point she went into training to do the same thing I was doing

In training she met a tool who had an issue with me, 8 hours a day, every day, he would cozzy up and spill out his beefs with me, while being a sympathetic ear. I lost out, she tried playing me but because of the work environment, coworkers told me, ended the engagement.

I wouldn't have given too much of a fuck, but seeing her every day, having her work in my department (i was still over her, and would have to coach her monthly which just made it fucked up) and deal with the tool bag being smug, I lost it and quit.

She's now obese and word is he's abusive, so I won in the end, but sure did fuck up a good job I had going.

 

[Optimus-Crime]

I think you're way in over your head with this one. Unless your boss makes it incredibly obvious that she wants to bone you, I'd recommend steering clear. The consequences could be pretty, pretty bad.

I'm taking it slow. Slower than her, at least.

I don't want a relationship, Icepick. I don't even want to fuck her. I think she wants to fuck me, and it's frustrating being a guy in this situation because you don't have to push us too hard when it comes to whether we want some new pussy or not. That's just how we're built. Sucks about that chick. I'm with you on the pro-equality front 100%. I have to be when everyone's playing dirty...men, women, gay men and gay women.

 

[Guan_Yu]

I think you're way in over your head with this one. Unless your boss makes it incredibly obvious that she wants to bone you, I'd recommend steering clear. The consequences could be pretty, pretty bad.

Troof. With all the attention you're getting from her, yeah she's probably down to DTF. But there is still the slight chance that it's just a big misunderstanding, and you don't want to deal with that bag of problems. I would stay away, your job is more important than some random tang.

 

[Sightless]

So you would do her, but you don't want to? Why don't you just ask her what's up? Do what makes you happy.

 

[Icepick]

I think you're way in over your head with this one. Unless your boss makes it incredibly obvious that she wants to bone you, I'd recommend steering clear. The consequences could be pretty, pretty bad.

I'm taking it slow. Slower than her, at least.

I don't want a relationship, Icepick. I don't even want to fuck her. I think she wants to fuck me, and it's frustrating being a guy in this situation because you don't have to push us too hard when it comes to whether we want some new pussy or not. That's just how we're built. Sucks about that chick. I'm with you on the pro-equality front 100%. I have to be when everyone's playing dirty...men, women, gay men and gay women.

never figured you wanted a relationship, however if you do fuck her, some variety of relationship will begin, if not in the traditional sense, no one in the work place just fucks and forgets

 

[UghRochester]

So you would do her, but you don't want to? Why don't you just ask her what's up? Do what makes you happy.

"Ayyy yo, ya dtf?"

 

[Optimus-Crime]

Thanks for the advice everyone. There's a huge chance this could all be a big misinterpretation. So I went in today and she gave me her phone number. Why did she give me her phone number? She just did. How did it come up? I don't even know. That's how it works. That's how it works, this girl is smooth as shit. She may be an undercover player, I don't even know.
I'm at a desk on the computer, my hand hanging over the side of the desk, and she comes over and pelvic bumps my dangling fingers 4 or 5 times. I didn't move my hand, I was like we're gonna find out right now what the deal is. After she was done bumping my hand with her waist line, she touches the top of my hand as if to say "Yeah, I knew your hand was there the whooole time." It's extremely Jr. High like i said earlier, it's almost fucking funny, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying it.
Does this prove anything? Nope. I don't want to have sex with her, but at the same time, heyyy, why not? And Sightless, what's making me the happiest at the moment is sitting back and enjoying the show. If we do have sex, if it does turn into a relationship, Icepick, the build up is gonna be better than the payoff. That's the way it always is, for any of us. The chase. And this time, woohoo, I'm the chasee, not the chaser.

"Say yo, girl. Lemme whisper somethin in your ear.. I see you throwin game my way. I see it. And I'm like, shhhi--we can do this. Ayyy yo, you dtf or wut? Or wut? Or wut?"
Dude, Ugh, if I slay the dragon, I'm crediting you when I bust a nut. I'll be like, "UGHHHHH!" It'll be our inside joke. High five, motha fucka!

 

[Guan_Yu]

Thanks for the advice everyone. There's a huge chance this could all be a big misinterpretation. So I went in today and she gave me her phone number. Why did she give me her phone number? She just did. How did it come up? I don't even know. That's how it works. That's how it works, this girl is smooth as shit. She may be an undercover player, I don't even know.
I'm at a desk on the computer, my hand hanging over the side of the desk, and she comes over and pelvic bumps my dangling fingers 4 or 5 times. I didn't move my hand, I was like we're gonna find out right now what the deal is. After she was done bumping my hand with her waist line, she touches the top of my hand as if to say "Yeah, I knew your hand was there the whooole time." It's extremely Jr. High like i said earlier, it's almost fucking funny, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying it.
Does this prove anything? Nope. I don't want to have sex with her, but at the same time, heyyy, why not? And Sightless, what's making me the happiest at the moment is sitting back and enjoying the show. If we do have sex, if it does turn into a relationship, Icepick, the build up is gonna be better than the payoff. That's the way it always is, for any of us. The chase. And this time, woohoo, I'm the chasee, not the chaser.

"Say yo, girl. Lemme whisper somethin in your ear.. I see you throwin game my way. I see it. And I'm like, shhhi--we can do this. Ayyy yo, you dtf or wut? Or wut? Or wut?"
Dude, Ugh, if I slay the dragon, I'm crediting you when I bust a nut. I'll be like, "UGHHHHH!" It'll be our inside joke. High five, motha fucka!

Don't do it. If everything that you've said so far is true, then this ho-ho wants your nuts. You still shouldn't do it. Yes, the idea of how fun it would be and the immediate thrill of going through with it are awesome as hell, but think of the consequences. If you do tackle it, shit is going to get messy afterwards. Even if she wasn't getting married in less than a month, it would still get really messy. But she IS getting married in less than a month, and that makes it way more complicated and weird. This will be a short-lived thing and eventually things will turn sour for one party or the other. And if it's her, she could fuck your work life right up if she wanted to, even more so because she's your boss. Don't do it. I know that your penis is telling you to go for it, and I can't say that I wouldn't be seriously considering it as you are. Hell I would probably go through with it myself because God damn, that shit sounds awesome! That's why I'm telling you this, because despite what your id, or mine, or anyone else's would say, this is a terrible idea at the end of the day. Think of it this way, the second you cum on her stomach, the first thought to cross your mind will be "What have I done?", and then the world of shit that is having an affair with your about-to-be-married boss will come into fruition. Don't do it man!