Does BlackStar have to choke a bitch?

Discussion in 'Films, TV, Music, Books, Etc.' started by BlackStar, Oct 31, 2012.

  1. BlackStar

    BlackStar Rookie

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    So to those who don't know I live in Canada now with my fiance. We bought a house in September and it came with a tenant in the basement. We let her stay because it'll help pay the mortgage and we're not going to be cruel bastards to this Canuck and kick her to the curb,

    Well turns out she's the tenant from hell. The garage was full of crap, We told her back in September that I was cleaning it out and anything that belongs to her should go downstairs before November.

    Then in October she tried to sneak in a sub-tenant downstairs and we caught her. We told her we weren't comfortable with that and she had a meltdown. This is a 40-something woman but when she started screaming I felt like I was dealing with a 12 year old. I also reminded her about the shit in the garage but she walked away inside the side door and slammed it behind her.

    So today everything was still in there so I said fuck it and threw it all on the curb. It took me all day to clean the bloody thing out. They were things like a broken living room chair, a loveseat that smelled like dead birds, a washing machine and dryer that's broken, and other things that are crap.

    As we're handing out candy to the kids tonight she comes home, throws a huge temper tantrum again and starts yelling. And starts lugging this shit back into the house saying she had until the 1st to clean it out.

    Apparently she was going to spend the last 6 hours before midnight taking all that gross shit downstairs? I don't know, she's fucked.

    So I'm asking for help GR. I never ask for help so I deserve it God damnit! How the hell do I get her out of the house? Apparently the only way I can evict her is if she's not paying rent. The only other option is if we're bringing family in to live down there she has to go. But that's not an option either.

    So I need soime clever ways to get her to go. Something that will make her hate living here. But trolling IRL is harder than it is online and I don't have the skills of Icepick. So how do I do it?

    It's been two hours since she flipped out on the front lawn and she's still dragging her shit into the side door and bringing it downstairs.

    [​IMG]
     
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  2. De-Ting

    De-Ting Rookie

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    You can only evict her if she's not paying rent? Surely you can't be serious.
     
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  3. MattAY

    MattAY Forum Moderator
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    God dammit man, sorry to hear. Washing machines and dryers are a bitch to move.
    Maybe plant some crack on her - get the police involved ;)

    It was a good idea to chuck it all out on the curb, is she moving it downstairs now? Or just back into the garage?

    I cant think of anything...maybe just poke her, keep poking her until she goes.
     
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  4. Rakon

    Rakon Rookie

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    If you're in Toronto, I can pose as your son and you can kick her out. Plus, we could be roomies!!!
     
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  5. Gunner37

    Gunner37 Rookie

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    Well what you could do is say that your fiance is pregnant and that you need the basement for a nursery/playroom and bam she is gone. Or just be the biggest douche on the earth such as throwing your garbage downstairs, play extremely loud music when she is sleeping, throw some house warming parties with people and not invite her upstairs, etc.
     
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  6. Bretimus_v2

    Bretimus_v2 Hey kiddo!

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    Is her tenancy written into your contract on the house or something? She sounds like a dream.
     
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  7. Optimus-Crime

    Optimus-Crime Rookie

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    sup dude, cowabunga.

    You intend to convert the rental unit to a non-residential use, demolish the unit (not so much this one), or do extensive repairs or renovations that require a building permit and vacant possession of the unit.

    narly.

    Notice form: Form N13
    Application form: Form L2
    Rules of practice: Rule 8
    Interpretation guidelines: Guideline 7 and Guideline 10

    radical. pizza time.




    far out.

    processing fee. 170 canadian(?)
     
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  8. WickedLiquid

    WickedLiquid Regular

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    Yeah, OC has it. Renovations are a good way to get her out.

    As for what to do until then, put your speaker right next to a vent and crank some music. As long as it's before 11pm you can draw her out with noise :D

    And if Rakon is renting out your basement, I'm coming with him.
     
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  9. UghRochester

    UghRochester https://www.twitch.tv/ughrochester

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    I stopped reading after this. What the hell do you mean it came with a tenant? Are you saying you bought the house and there was some bum that was sleeping in the base all this time?
     
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  10. WickedLiquid

    WickedLiquid Regular

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    Ugh, in Canada we have people who live under the stairs.

    haha, I've talked to many American friends who can't comprehend a basement apartment. Only in Canada eh?
     
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  11. madster111

    madster111 Rookie

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    wat

    No, seriously, the hell? How does that work? Surely you just need to give her notice so she can organize a new place?

    Wait, it's your house yeah?
    Wait till she's not there and set that fucker on fire. Suddenly it's unfit to live in, and won't be for the next 3-6 months. Once she makes it official, you give it some nice new paint, clean the carpets and enjoy that burned wood smell which i've always found pleasant.

    Not even bad. I know 2 people who lived in garages.
    And they still have a better quality of life than american minimum wage workers
     
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  12. Affen

    Affen Rookie

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    If the only way to evict her is the fact she's not paying rent, raise the rent to a level she can not afford. Explain the raise with suddenly higher expenses she's causing.
     
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  13. intoTheRain

    intoTheRain Regular

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    if the person who had the house before had a tenant, the person who buys the house off them gets a tenant.
     
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  14. intoTheRain

    intoTheRain Regular

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    there are percentage limits on how much you can raise rent per year

    just make her life miserable. i had to do the same thing with a tenant i had not long ago.. he was a nightmare to live with, so i became a nightmare to live with. he bitched and moaned, i said sorry bro, best i can do is cut your lease short. we agreed to that and now he's gone.

    never having anyone live with me again, not worth the small financial gain.
     
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  15. Mod-Chip

    Mod-Chip Rookie

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    Such a passive aggressive solution, and yet so Finnish. I like 8)
     
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  16. danielrbischoff

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    Just do this. If it's true that not paying rent is the ONLY thing, then you need to go ahead and do the ONLY thing you can do.
     
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  17. Affen

    Affen Rookie

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    I don't know how much it is in Canada, but here it's 15% which itself can be effective. But the good thing is if you don't get in agreement with the raise you have the right to kick the tenant out.
     
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  18. intoTheRain

    intoTheRain Regular

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    15% is ridiculous.

    In Ontario it's always between 2.5-3.5%, changes yearly. And I believe you can add an extra 3% if approved due to renovations, new security installations etc.
     
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  19. BlackStar

    BlackStar Rookie

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    I was talking to my parents and we're making up a fake letter saying due to Hurricane Sandy my family's home back in Queens is under extensive renovtions and they need to come live here. Moral of the story? Hurricanes help evict bitches.

    We also could have just said she had to vacant the basement because of renovations but that would require me to actually spend money on renovations that I don't have right now. So instead my family will be coming to visit and we'll just say they're moving in.

    I'm also ending the letter with this
    [​IMG]





    And there's only one GR dude who will live with me...
    [​IMG]

    My fiance has a sister too bro! Spread the latina love, that's the Canadian way! Right Lethean?
     
    #19
  20. GiftedMonkey

    GiftedMonkey Rookie

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    Dude, plenty of American houses have finished basements, apartments above the garage, and so-called "mother-in-law" apartments that frequently have tenants in them. The difference is, when you buy a house in America, its YOUR house, not "Your-and-the-wierdo-living-in-the-basement's house"

    And side note: Who are these Americans that GR's Canadians are supposedly talking to and getting all their information about Americans? The things I've been hearing lately--"Americans have never heard of basement apartments," "Americans are taught they won the Vietnam War." Seriously, what the fuck? I might have to police this place wikipedia style and start throwing out [citation needed]s.
     
    #20

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