Vote for me and you'll each receive my newest product:
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this in the background for full effect)
Bitches, you can forget the Snuggie, introducing the new and sexy...
Pretty Little Paradox Body Pillow! The Pretty Little Paradox Body Pillow is a life-size comfort wonderland made from the silkiest, smoothest materials money can buy.
Your Pretty Little Paradox Body Pillow is triple stitched and gently fringed with - you guessed it - Pretty Little Paradox's dick hair. Enjoy hours and hours of comfort
and enjoyment. Your Pretty Little Paradox Body Pillow also comes with a genital warmer, perfect for those deep, cold, lonely nights. Just yank on the dial and heat up your night.
It provides the perfect amount of warmth that only the Pretty Little Paradox Body Pillow can provide. And yes, the dial is anatomically correct.
And men, we didn't forget about you because the Pretty Little Paradox Body Pillow comes with two inserts. Both the mouth and anus are sized to the exact dimensions of of Paradox's hoos. You too can grab on the dial, turn up the heat and ride out the night. You'll experience perfect warmth while in any position, even reverse cowgirl.
Don't be fooled by imitations. Make sure you only receive the original Pretty Little Paradox Body Pillow. Vote for Paradox now. Quantities are limited. There's only so much of Paradox's dick hair to go around.
My votes: Matt, Nate, Feel Bros.