GRumble 2015: That's All Folks

Bretimus_v2

So tired.
TL_aerial_view.jpg


Everything was perfect on GRanquility Lane. Everyone was getting along. There were no more console wars. There were no factions. No flame wars. Even the mods were locked in a continual circlejerk. It was as if all the anger and angst of the GRians' collective teenage years had left them. You couldn't ask for a better existence. The sun was out, birds were singing, bees were trying to have sex with them... as is my understanding. Yup, everything was perfect.

But like all too perfect-looking graphics of an Ubisoft game, their perfect thing got super shitty, super quick. With a flash of demon fire and the acrid smell of sulphur, a shimmering portal opened up on the peaceful street. From inside it could be heard a sound far worse than the wailing cries of the Damned. Indeed this portal was no ordinary portal! Nay and fie, I say! This demonic passage was linked to a place far more terrible than the ever-burning pits of Hell, a hundred times more drab and boring than the Hell depicted in What Dreams May Come, more terrible and awful than even Detroit. Indeed, this portal opened up to the year of our Lord, 2008, and the most despicable man that could step forth from it did. Beware and avert your eyes, for the Beast, bretimus, has set foot in our perfect GRanquility Lane.

dr_orpheus.gif


No sooner had he arrived, he began stirring the shit. He took our cuddly GRians and he fed them after midnight turning them into the foulest of wretches. Friend turned against friend, loyalties were thrown aside, punches were thrown, limbs were bitten. And it is here, that began the most terrible and bloody GRumble of 2015.


This is just embarassing...bretimus is making me speak for him because he's too lazy to log in since it's such a pain.

Hear ye, hear ye! The Rules of the GRumble 2015 are simple. Simple enough that all of you dipshits...do I really have to read this? It's kind of insulting. Ok. Simple enough that all of you dipshits can't mess it up...possibly Ugh or Wicked, but that's getting into a super-powers level of fuck-uppery that even bretimus cannot contain.

SINGLES
There will be no Brackets or Round Robins for bretimus abhors Order. All hail bretimus!
There will be two matches a day until the herd is thinned to the liking of bretimus. All hail bretimus!
All eliminations occur after the second loss. Let it not be said that bretimus is merciful. All hail bretimus!
Match ups will be decided randomly. We all go in the mixer and the top four each day face off, 1 vs 2/3 vs 4. Disorientation is first tool of bretimus...

Ahem.

...all hail bretimus!

The current roster is as stands:
Master_Craig - CHAMPION
Green_Lantern - ELIMINATED
UrbanMasque - ELIMINATED
Longo_2_guns - ELIMINATED
Bretimus_v2 - ELIMINATED
LinksOcarina - ELIMINATED
WickedLiquid - ELIMINATED
C_nate - ELIMINATED
Paradox - ELIMINATED
UghRochester - ELIMINATED
Studio Tan - ELIMINATED
MattAY - ELIMINATED
De-Ting - ELIMINATED
Gunner37 - ELIMINATED
HK-47 - ELIMINATED
Sourdeez - ELIMINATED
Used44 - ELIMINATED
Danielrbischoff - ELIMINATED


DOUBLES

The matches will be ran the same as SINGLES, because bretimus has far better things to do than come up with a whole new set of rules for this tagged-on, two-man part of the GRumble. All hail bretimus!
Doubles will not end simultaneously with SINGLES because when you, as he puts it, "cross swords with the Bret-ster" he has better things to do than make sure you finish at the same time...wow, that's pretty frickin' disgusting...yeah, I'll keep going, all hail bretimus...

The current roster is as stands:
De-Ting & UrbanMasque - The Feel Bros - CHAMPIONS
Longo_2_guns & Paradox - Team Venture - ELIMINATED
Bretimus_v2 & LinksOcarina - Team Brazelda - ELIMINATED
WickedLiquid & Danielrbischoff - DunderMifflin - ELIMINATED
Green_Lantern & Used44 - The Plutonians - ELIMINATED
HK-47 & Studio Tan - Jake and Finn - ELIMINATED
UghRochester & MattAY - TeamRoyaleWithFries - ELIMINATED



And as an even more tagged-on event comes...
UrbanMasque's Tickle-fight Cocktease! brought to you by Twitch

Huh, bretimus actually left after giving me the name of the final contest...he said that we can do whatever we want on this one.
So the rules are simple on this Royal Rumble match, everyday you need to IM me the name of the person you want to eliminate. This way it is secret. Any gang ups are not to be discussed in the thread...possibly other threads or IMs, Skypes and FB messenger app things.
Put the person you want out in the subject and body of the IM. My goal is to not open a single one of these things so that I can add tallies quickly.
Once you are eliminated from the contest you can no longer vote via PM. Feel free to lobby on who should get tossed out.

WickedLiquid
Sourdeez - ELIMINATED
UrbanMasque - ELIMINATED
Paradox - ELIMINATED
Studio Tan - ELIMINATED
Bretimus_v2 - ELIMINATED
Master_Craig - ELIMINATED
Green_Lantern - ELIMINATED
MattAY - ELIMINATED
HK-47 - ELIMINATED
LinksOcarina - ELIMINATED
Danielrbischoff - ELIMINATED
UghRochester - ELIMINATED
De-Ting - ELIMINATED
Used44 - ELIMINATED
Gunner37 - ELIMINATED
C_nate - ELIMINATED
Longo_2_guns - ELIMINATED


And finally, the end of voting should occur at roughly 12 pm CST with new matches being posted then as well. Translation for our foreign friends...20 mins from the time stamp on the matches post.

With that....LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!!
 
This is just embarassing...bretimus is making me speak for him because he's too lazy to log in since it's such a pain.

Hear ye, hear ye! The Rules of the GRumble 2015 are simple. Simple enough that all of you dipshits...do I really have to read this? It's kind of insulting. Ok. Simple enough that all of you dipshits can't mess it up...possibly Ugh or Wicked, but that's getting into a super-powers level of fuck-uppery that even bretimus cannot contain.

SINGLES
There will be no Brackets or Round Robins for bretimus abhors Order. All hail bretimus!
There will be two matches a day until the herd is thinned to the liking of bretimus. All hail bretimus!
All eliminations occur after the second loss. Let it not be said that bretimus is merciful. All hail bretimus!
Match ups will be decided randomly. We all go in the mixer and the top four each day face off, 1 vs 2/3 vs 4. Disorientation is first tool of bretimus...

Ahem.

...all hail bretimus!

The current roster is as stands:
De-Ting
Green_Lantern
UrbanMasque
UghRochester
MattAY
WickedLiquid
Danielrbischoff
LinksOcarina
Longo_2_guns
Sourdeez
Master_Craig
Studio Tan - ONE LOSS
Paradox - ONE LOSS
Used44 - ONE LOSS
C_nate - ONE LOSS
HK-47 - ONE LOSS
Gunner37 - ONE LOSS
Bretimus_v2 - ONE LOSS

DOUBLES

The matches will be ran the same as SINGLES, because bretimus has far better things to do than come up with a whole new set of rules for this tagged-on, two-man part of the GRumble. All hail bretimus!
Doubles will not end simultaneously with SINGLES because when you, as he puts it, "cross swords with the Bret-ster" he has better things to do than make sure you finish at the same time...wow, that's pretty frickin' disgusting...yeah, I'll keep going, all hail bretimus...

The current roster is as stands:
Green_Lantern & Used44
De-Ting & UrbanMasque - The Feel Bros
UghRochester & MattAY - TeamRoyaleWithFries
Bretimus_v2 & LinksOcarina - Team Brazelda
WickedLiquid & Danielrbischoff - DunderMifflin - ONE LOSS
HK-47 & Studio Tan - Jake and Finn - ONE LOSS
Longo_2_guns & Paradox - Team Venture - ELIMINATED


And as an even more tagged-on event comes...
UrbanMasque's Tickle-fight Cocktease! brought to you by Twitch

Huh, bretimus actually left after giving me the name of the final contest...he said that we can do whatever we want on this one.
So the rules are simple on this Royal Rumble match, everyday you need to IM me the name of the person you want to eliminate. This way it is secret. Any gang ups are not to be discussed in the thread...possibly other threads or IMs, Skypes and FB messenger app things.
Put the person you want out in the subject and body of the IM. My goal is to not open a single one of these things so that I can add tallies quickly.
Once you are eliminated from the contest you can no longer vote via PM. Feel free to lobby on who should get tossed out.

Green_Lantern
Studio Tan
Paradox
UrbanMasque
Gunner37
Bretimus_v2
MattAY
HK-47
WickedLiquid
C_nate
LinksOcarina
Longo_2_guns
Sourdeez
Master_Craig
Danielrbischoff - ELIMINATED
UghRochester - ELIMINATED
De-Ting - ELIMINATED
Used44 - ELIMINATED

And finally, the end of voting should occur at roughly 12 pm CST with new matches being posted then as well. Translation for our foreign friends...20 mins from the time stamp on the matches post.

With that....LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!!
 
Day 1

LinksOcarina
vs
used44

UghRochester
vs
Gunner37

Team Venture
(Longo_2_guns & Pardox)
giphy.gif

vs
The Feels Bros
(De-Ting & UrbanMasque)
tumblr_nb5lnd8pBe1tolmkoo1_1409459162_cover.jpg


And don't forget to submit your Royal Rumble elimination pick
 
We are supposed to PM Bretimus who we want eliminated, or do we just throw 'em down here?

I thought the rules said PM him. :p
 
We PM him the Royal Rumble and that's it. We can still vote here the other matches. The royal rumble is anyone who joined the singles as a special event. At least that's what I'm getting at.
 
Links

Ugh

GO TEAM VENTURE!!


Plus, I demand an immediate win for Team Venture do to the misspelling of my name and not using the specific gif I submited for our team image.

Failing that, everyone who votes for Team Venture gets a free HJ from Longo and his beefy muscular arms. They don't call him 2 Guns for nothing.
 
Damn.. that singles lineup looks like a WWE Roster..

Bretimus_v2 said:
Even the mods were locked in a continual circlejerk.
all day, errr day


Links
Ugh

The Feel no "S" Bros The first matchup and already we're being thrown under the bus..now we play the waiting game.
1407269394104.jpg


well done Bret, well done
 
Links

Ugh

The Feel Bros.

You also made a typo in our team name, but I'm not going to complain about it or try to bribe everyone, and therefore am a more trustworthy and modest individual than Paradox and you should vote for us.
 
Woah now. I wake up and this is what I see? Not a fan. Time to pull out all the stops. Time to get primped and ready.
giphy.gif


Are you really going to cast your vote to advocates of sad, outdated 4chan material?

Or are you made from a different stock of man? A stock of man who doesn't flinch at danger, who isn't sad, who has a mustache!
giphy.gif


Gentlemen, I present to you those who are truly worthy of your votes... Team Venture!

True men! True men with a long history of great thing doing!

Team_venture_3.png



With Paradox!
Sr_jungle.png


Longo_2_guns!
Action_man_jeanie.png


Paradox!
Col_gentleman.png


And Longo_2_guns!
Kano_fire.png



With special new youngsters, Paradox and Longo_2_guns!
giphy.gif


Vote Team Venture!
Go Team Venture!
giphy.gif
 
Thing about the Ventures though is, every time they die, they come back.

Your moms like to feel our rage.

The rage is our penises.



We had intercourse with your mothers. Of the sexual variety.
 

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