The Downside to Game Conventions

This post was almost a Manifesto, but I don't want to come off as too much of a dick. Instead, it's going here where I hope you will better appreciate the honesty and find my uncontrollable rage entertaining.

After a long week of appointments, panels, and parties, GDC has come to a close. It's bittersweet - I had a blast with the GR crew, got to enjoy San Francisco, and got to do things that the average gamer would kill for. But I miss my family, I'm tired, and I've got a long, 6-hour flight home to Boston. After a week of it all, I'm at my breaking point and home couldn't sound sweeter.

Flights always suck, but this one in particular is the worst. For one, it's a red-eye flight, and I can't - no matter how tired I am - sleep on a flight. But it's part of the job, so I deal with it.

But what I can't deal with, is being so closely confined with other human beings.

You see, I'm stuffed against the window, next to some nutjob who has been eating Smartfood popcorn for two hours now. It's like this bag never ends. I literally gagged at the lip-smacking sounds she was making as she sucked the white cheddar from her fingertips... right next to my face.

Even that is forgivable, she is rather skinny, and could use every last calorie.

She flipped out about her reading light not working, and then, the outlets in her seat aren't working, either.She can't charge her nook now. That's some shit luck. But not as bad as mine. You see, next to her is this pompous ass with a fat bankroll. Dude thinks he's a Saudi prince or some shit. He hates this airline, and "hasn't flown coach in years". He also likes limes in his 7-up, is really impressed with Virgin America's in-seat beverage ordering, and is a douche - but that last part is a given.

How do I know all of this? Because he won't shut the fuck up.

He's engaged in an obnoxiously loud conversation with the student game developer next to me. Who just so happened to have attended GDC to support her student project, which just so happened to win an award at GDC. I didn't catch the name, my headphones are on full blast playing a custom iTunes playlist. It's still not enough to drown them out completely.

How do I know all of this? Because they won't shut the fuck up.

I asked them to tone it down a little, it's 5AM after all. (5:23AM to be exact) I even "asked" again not so nicely. But they won't shut the fuck up.

Because I'm under TSA's care and rules, I'll refrain from getting too agitated, and I'll take some solace in writing this while I'm right next to them. They won't notice anyway, because they're too busy not shutting the fuck up.

I can also take solace in the fact that, I now plan to review this bitch's game, and score it according to a number of factors. Don't shut the fuck up? Oh, I'm sorry, well then your game sucks, You see, that's the upside to my job.

If only they'd have shut the fuck up.

There. I feel so much better now.
 
This thread is fucking awesome.

Man, believe me, I've traveled on some crazy flights before. I usually hate getting stuck next to Napoleon, conqueror of armrests, which seems to fucking happen often. I also once flew in a plane where they literally had to bungee chord the back door shut. Or a 12 hour flight where the only movie they had was Daredevil. Over. And over. And over.

I'd recommend getting up to use the bathroom like four times just to spite them, but then they'd be on an even greater tivy. Just let them enjoy their sleep while you think of ways to get them busted by airport security when you land.
 
This is awesome.

My patented air travel strategy is to use my wife as a buffer zone. My excuse always being that she's skinnier, so she sits in the middle spot next to the stranger. I still am subjected to the inane conversations going on around me, but I at least have one seat between me and the nearest weirdo heavy breather.
 
That's why I don't travel, if I'm confined to a small cramped space with jackass's, there's going to be some assholes plummeting down to the earth below without a chute.

Take away my nicotine and I'm an unfriendly person, take that away and than force me to sit next to some fat fuck who wont shut the fuck up or sit still, and I'm going to get stabby
 
I was seated next to a naughty dog developer who was actually nice to talk to. If you punched them both you'd be able to sit by yourself, but with cuffs on.
 
I waited until they were asleep for a good, comfortable 30 mins or so, then "suddenly" I had to pee. I made sure to startle the shit out of them asking them to move, then step all over their stuff when I was walking by.

Revenge was mine.
 
Great story, Anthony. Are you Italian? You're definitely Italian in my book. I never flown in a plane, yet. However, I've been on a five hour bus ride many of times to Hershey, PA for DECA related (a distribution education club if you wanted to know.) The majority of the time, the students tried messing with people while they slept (i.e. markers on the face). One time, I decided to pretend to sleep. Overheard their plan to mess with me. So when they were going to mark my face, I abrubtly screamed which freaked them out. My excuse was I had a nightmare. Also, I hate the douchebags that have seen the movie on our bus and spoil it for the rest.
 
Nothing is worse than sitting in a crowded plane with little to none personal space. Air is still and warm. Then a smell of a rotten slimy python of a fart flies straight up your nostrils. If that's not enough, a baby will surely start crying in the seat near you.

I feel your pain.

Gotta love airplanes.
 

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