Roommates from hell.

[Mod-Chip]

My exwife and I divorced over a year ago. We still share the same house (separate rooms for years). Her mom lives here too, moved in years ago with her stepdad (who promptly took off and left us stuck with this annoying, disgusting...woman). Her morbidly obese wheelchair confined mom. Who showers maybe once a month. Who has a plastic toilet in her room that she has to periodically dump into a real toilet (meaning carry a bucket of piss and shit down the hall past my room to the other bathroom). Who parks herself at the kitchen table for half the day with no regard to how how high her shirt or shorts is hiked up over her globs and globs of fat. Who brought her four fucking rat terrier dogs with her (I fucking hate small dogs and have managed to do away with two of them so far.) Who loves to talk and (shudder) sing at the top off her tone deaf voice.

She makes this house smell like a fucking construction site urinal non-stop. Incense and air fresheners are my best friends. This is on top of the awkwardness of sharing a house with my ex-wife. I can't wait to move out in the next couple of months. Probably out of Texas completely to be near family in Tennessee.

Fuck a doodle doo.

Wowow, what the fuck?! Time to get the hell out of dodge!

I don't have too many stories to share, except once in college I came home with a girl and had to walk through my roommate's room (railroad style apartment) to get to mine. Well I was so drunk I accidentally shattered her standing mirror. When I got to my room I put on music, but it was apparently so loud that it forced my roommate to come into my room while I was in the act. I still remember her standing in the doorway, asking for me to lower the music, with a piece of shattered mirror hanging on her nightgown.

Looking back at it, I may not have been the best roommate.

 

[Bretimus_v2]

You were that guy.


I had a roommate that was awful. I absolutely enjoyed him as a person and we got along well. But he was a shitty roommate. Where do I begin? He never cleaned his dishes and would complain about us calling him on it. So he specifically bought a dish, bowl, and silverware and said, "listen up fuckwads this is my stuff so stop bitching at me about dishes" (direct quote). Nothing changed, dishes abounded and he acted like an absolute dick about it. Not mine. Got my own. We eventually pointed out that his private place settings had salt that we had dusted on them a week earlier. Another instance was him almost setting our house aflame. He set a pot of water to boil and something came up where he had to left the house. Our neighbors upstairs some time later smelled something weird and called our landlord. It was the pot. It had melded with the burner after all the water boiled out and it just burnt the pot. The two were smoking and this in turn warped the wall to the right. Our landlord was pissed and called us all together. He told us none of we're getting our security deposit back and that he was going to evict us. He didn't say a word as the rest of us defended our right to live there. A month later he tried to bring up his guilt as a joke. He ended up paying us our deposits out of his pocket to keep us from getting him kicked out. All in all. I feel good after reading your stories.

 

[Green_Lantern]

My roommates and I would always wash dishes together (one washes other dries - you know, typical couple activities) as well as share food. My room is usually a mess but with other housemates I try to keep the living space clean. Never had issues that way.

 

[used44]

Oh it's not her fault she's fat. Her ex-husband let her get like that. This is something she honestly believes. :x

That's awesome. I'm on her side now.

 

[UrbanMasque]

My roommates and I would always wash dishes together.

 

[Gunner37]

Im kind of waiting for icepick to come in with one of his great but disgusting stories

 

[HK-47]

My roommates and I would always wash dishes together.

I heard it in his exact voice, cracked me up.