Icepick vs.

[danielrbischoff]

I know Icepick's had it out with a lot of people on the forums, but I think he gets a bad rap. Someone should say something! Well, I think Icepick is a cool guy and I think he's better than many of the people you might look up to or respect. Tell me a person you trust and I will tell you about a time where I trusted Icepick even moreand he still took advantage of that trust and hurt my feelings in someway but never mind that's not the point!

So anyway, which historical figure would you like to hear about this time? It's true that many have been forced to tears by Icepick in some crude, awkwardly sexual way. Just suggest one and I'll tell you all about it!

 

[Bretimus_v2]

Icepick couldn't possibly be better than Lincoln.

 

[danielrbischoff]

Yeah so this was back in 1830 when Abraham Lincoln was living in Ohio River. He went to school and wore his hat and skipped. Lincoln couldn't get enough of skipping. That's when Icepick came up and put a stick between Abe's legs. He totally fucking ate it in the mud, but when he stood up there was also some horse shit stuck to him.

Icepick was wall "hahahaha, you suck Abraham."

Abe got up and started running back to his house. He tripped all the time, like I said, because of all the damn skipping, so it's not like it hurt or anything, but anyway he just wanted to go home. What he didn't know was that Icepick had already been there! You see, Ohio River was just in the middle of a huge milk sickness outbreak, so Icepick had gone in and switched out the Lincoln's milk with an infected glass!

Oh, no it wasn't infected like the milk outbreak... uhhh Icepick will tell you how it went bad.

Next?

 

[Icepick]

tell them about the time the captain of the titanic was admiring my fantastic penis and crashed the boat

 

[De-Ting]

That's when Icepick came up and put a stick between Abe's legs.

That sure sounds like Iceprick.

Now tell the one about Cleopatra.

 

[Lien]

Well Icepick mortal enemies seem to be women... So i'll say what happened when he met face to face with Boudicca back first century AD?

 

[danielrbischoff]

Now tell the one about Cleopatra.

Alright so this was when Cleopatra was in exile, you know, about the same time as Pompey got into the Roman's business. Anyway, Icepick saw her walking along, and was like "Hey, over there is a pretty cool spot. It's an oasis. There's a pool of water and a tree, just go over that dune over there. So then Cleopatra was walking along and as she climbed up she realized that Icepick had lied to here. She stepped over the top and set her foot down, only to find that she'd stepped square in the dump icepick had left for her.

 

[danielrbischoff]

tell them about the time the captain of the titanic was admiring my fantastic penis and crashed the boat

Uhh, you just did.

 

[Lien]

tell them about the time the captain of the titanic was admiring my fantastic penis and crashed the boat

The captain of the ship is always the last one to get off...

Thank you! I'll be here all week! Tip your waitresses!

 

[Icepick]

tell them about the time the captain of the titanic was admiring my fantastic penis and crashed the boat

Uhh, you just did.

fine I want to hear about jesus

 

[WickedLiquid]

Icepick VS Starfox 64

 

[Master_Craig]

Icepick VS Starfox 64

Shit just got real.

 

[Master_Craig]

Icepick VS Starfox 64

Shit just got real.

 

[danielrbischoff]

Boudicca back first century AD?

Alright so Boudica was trying to lead the campaign against the island of Mona in the north of Wales. She had this plan to "divine" a plan using a rabbit and interpreting the way it ran. Icepick heard about this all the night before and people were like "oh yeah Boudica, that's brilliant." But all along Icepick is like "who the fuck does she think she is?"

The next day, Boudica's trying to invoke Andraste, the British goddess of victory, just before she's about to do the rabbit thing. She reaches into her dress and puts her hand where she thought she left the rabbit, but it was just a bunch of rabbit turds. Embarrassed, she tried to play it off like they were a part of her plan all along. She threw them into the wind and the wind blew them right back at her face.

 

[danielrbischoff]

tell them about the time the captain of the titanic was admiring my fantastic penis and crashed the boat

Uhh, you just did.

fine I want to hear about jesus

I'm not doing this for you!

 

[danielrbischoff]

Icepick VS Starfox 64

Well you guys know that Star Fox 64 was originally Star Fox 2, for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System right? Back in those days, Star Fox 2 was being developed as one of the final throws for the Super Nintendo. Everyone in the building new the Nintendo 64 was coming soon and that it would kick the shit out of the SNES in terms of raw power and 3D processing capabilities. It seems obvious that that's the reason for Star Fox 2's cancellation and subsequent transfer of features and mechanics to StarFox 64, but we would have received a wildly different StarFox experience if it weren't for Icepick.

Dylan Cuthbert who's worked with Nintendo and other Japanese giants of gaming for years and years originally brought Icepick over with him as another new hire on the game. The two of them worked closely with Miyamoto until one day the creator of mario came into the office and fired Icepick on the spot. Icepick was in charge of all the story, but what we didn't know was that Icepick had actually slept with Miyamoto's wife! Miyamoto grabbed for his Legend of Zelda replica sword and tried to chop off Icepick's arm, but Icepick ran out all Looney-Toons style and never worked in video game development again.

And I didn't even need Wikipedia for this one. There are still lots of stories to tell, so just shout out a name and I'll tell you all about how Icepick ruined that person's life.

 

[cyberjim2000]

Icepick vs. The World

 

[danielrbischoff]

It needs to be a historical figure!

 

[Lien]

Icepick VS Gandhi

This will be hilarious

 

[danielrbischoff]

Oh, no, Icepick didn't mess with Gandhi himself, but there were a couple of British cousins that said a lot of mean things about Gandhi in the early years. It made him so self-conscious of his weight.... That's why he didn't eat you know.