So that was awkward

[C_nate]

Spent the last week on vacation with the family visiting extended family down south. One day, while traveling around with what I guess technically would be called my "brother-in-law" we got stuck waiting around to pick up more family members who were running late.

We were sitting there just chatting, small talk, when unsolicited, unprovoked, and out of the clear blue he goes into a 10 minute rant about he hates his job because of all the black people he has to deal with on a daily basis and how he hates where he lives now cause too many black people are moving near the area and on and on and on. And he wasn't saying black people, he was saying the n word. Repeatedly. Probably a dozen times during his diatribe.

Normally when something like that happens, I immediately cut the person off, give them a look, and tell them I don't want to hear that shit, tell it to someone else.

But in this instance I was stuck in a pretty awkward position. I was sitting in the guys car, he was letting my family stay in his home, eat his food, sleep in his kids room, use his stuff and is the husband of my wife's sister.

All I could do was feebly mention how the black people I've worked with or interacted with over the years has been generally a positive experience. I didn't even bother to mention that some of my best friends growing up were black or that I used to hang out and party with my black co-workers (who were some of the nicest people I ever worked with) on a semi-regular basis or that I even very briefly dated a black girl.

Then came the awkward break in the conversation where you and the other person realize you are not on the same page. Followed by awkwardly trying to transition back to small talk.

So have any of you been stuck in uncomfortable, awkward situations where you may have not been able to deal with it like you normally would have?

 

[Longo_2_guns]

Once I farted loudly in the middle of a test.

It's no wonder I was most likely to never get laid.

 

[Master_Craig]

C_nate, that sounds horrible. That would have been super awkward. I'm with you on that one and I can relate to it.

Longo, I too have farted in uncomfortable environments. The gym. Judo. At work in the office. Oh God. I am a monster.

Okay, I've got one.

At the end of 2011, I was interstate on holidays and I was staying with my friend and her house mate for two weeks. One night, a few of her friends came over including this guy she used to date, but she kinda fancied him again (I am so glad they didn't end up together again and you'll find out why). He seemed like a bit of an alright guy, but he was a self proclaimed "bogan". A "bogan" is essentially what Americans would stereotype as a "red neck".

Anyway. My friend's house mate was having some issues that night. His ex-girlfriend apparently rocked up and tried to stir shit. So my friend went to help out her house mate. I was stuck with this fella, the "bogan".

We're chatting for a while and somehow, we come to the topic of cancer. Before I continue I'm just going to point this out, cancer is something I take very seriously in my books. My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer nearly ten years ago, while another relative of mine had breast cancer and finally, I lost a close friend to cancer about three and a half years ago.

I think "hate" is a strong word and when I seriously say I "hate" someone, then I sure as hell do. It takes a lot for me to reach that feeling about a person and I would prefer not to say it or feel that way, but sometimes it does unfortunately happen. I hate this guy.

So we're on the topic of cancer and it certainly didn't last long. This guy starts throwing all sorts of philosophical crap that I can't remember but what I distinctly remember is how he said that he believes cancer is bought upon people by karma, because they "deserve it".

Because they apparently "deserve it".

I'll let that sink in.

After telling me this, he realizes (most likely by my silence and my facial expression) that he may have pissed me off and possibly offended me.

He then tries to apologize, "Oh I didn't mean, uh I mean you don't know anyone do you?" and I cut him off, "Too late." and shook my head. Never have I ever wanted to physically hurt somebody so bad, but I didn't. I did nothing and said nothing after.

We ended up sitting at the table for about ten more minutes before my friend came back. I probably should have just got up and left, but at the time I felt if I got up, I probably would have tried something, either verbally or physically. When I think about it, it makes me want to punch his stupid bogan face.

In saying that though while he probably "deserved" something, I'm glad I didn't do anything.

 

[MattAY]

Nice tempter there Craig. If I was you I would have absolutely had a massive rant at least!
He sounds like a lonely soul with no education whatsoever, let him rot in society!!

I have no awkward situations on those levels! I did recently go to a party with my current girlfriend, where a girl I previously dated was also there (previously being 8 months ago). And by "dated" I mean went on 5 God-awful dates.
The party was at my friend's house and they knew very well that the girl I used to date was about to meet my girlfriend. As soon as I entered the lounge they all say to me, "ah introduce her to the new faces, Matt!" ..Bastards!

I scan the room and the only face my girlfriend doesn't know is the girl I used to date! So very quietly and slowly I mutter, "Charlotte this is Mary, Mary, Charlotte".
A very polite "Hiii", by both ladies, followed by 10 seconds of silence and snickering followed! 10 seconds that felt like 10 DAYS!
I then blurted out, "LET'S DRINK EH LADS?!"

My friends then told me afterwards that they were sorry, but they had to do it...bastards.

 

[Master_Craig]

Wow, your mates are a buncha trolls MattAY, ha ha

I can see how that would have been a tad bit awkward. >.< I can also imagine how despite it being only ten seconds or so, it would have felt like an eternity.

As for my situation... yeah, I was really angry with that guy, but I didn't do anything because well, technically he was my friend's friend, and I didn't want to start trouble. Despite the fact that I wanted to hurt this guy, I don't actually like the idea of hurting people either. I just got angry and just tried to stay calm. I think, or at least hope my silence made him think about what he just said and how stupid it was.

 

[Bretimus_v2]

So much awkward being a Latino-Asian raised by Caucasians. Imagine being an insider and an outsider and overhearing stereotypical prejudices by all parties involved.

 

[used44]

There are more rednecks in Alaska than you might think. I've had to handle a lot of awkward racism but nothing as overt as that, C-Nate. How awful. How did your wife react when you told her?

 

[C_nate]

She was nowhere near as offended as I was. But then again, I had to remind myself that she grew up in another country, so I basically had to give her a history lesson to explain to her things she wasn't familiar with like the Jim Crow era, the Civil Rights Movement, and how what he said was so offensive as well as go over the concepts of racism in general by relating some commonly held stereotypes of her own race.

I also mentioned the irony of this guy having young mixed race children of his own who will probably experience some race based harassment of their own growing up in the south and how he will be singing a much different tune when that happens.

Not exactly the type of conversation I was expecting to have while on vacation, that's for sure.

 

[Bretimus_v2]

Well the good news is your eyes are opened.

This reminded me of a conversation my wife had. A lady thought our mixed race babies were adorable and so exotic! Then when I came in and met her she was very nice. After I left, she told my wife it was a good thing she was "white enough to balance me out".

 

[used44]

Ohhhhh woooow

 

[Master_Craig]

Well the good news is your eyes are opened.

This reminded me of a conversation my wife had. A lady thought our mixed race babies were adorable and so exotic! Then when I came in and met her she was very nice. After I left, she told my wife it was a good thing she was "white enough to balance me out".

What. The. F-

What did your wife say to her about that? O_O

 

[Bretimus_v2]

She got up and walked away. She pointedly avoids her. Yay, passive aggressive resolutions!

 

[WickedLiquid]

My lady friend is Indian and while she was born and raised in Canada, her parents weren't. We've been dating for over a year and I met her family for the first time a couple weeks ago.

It was so incredibly awkward since her parents would rather her be with a brown doctor and she is the youngest of four kids with two older, overprotective brothers.

Meeting her father was like I was in an interview for a job. He asked me so many questions like education background and what I do for a living and what are my goals. And despite my best efforts her parents still don't like me solely because I'm white which means their grandkids will be mixed.

I felt like telling them to go fuck a goat but I kept my cool. She apologized later for her parents but admired my guts in meeting them. I mean who said anything about kids? We've only been dating a year.

I dunno what's going to happen. She doesn't want to get disowned from her family which is a possibility, but we were friends for years before we started a relationship and we want to be together.

Suffice to say the levels of awkwardness was at a very high level. Like 'mom caught me masturbating' level.

 

[MattAY]

Yikes. It's at those moments where you wish they offered you some sort of high level alcohol.
I'm worried about meeting my lady's Chinese parents, Wicked! I need some tips!! Luckily they cant speak English...which I'm not sure will help, but whatever.

Oh, and I'm going on a road trip in Iceland for a week with them too!

 

[Green_Lantern]

My lady friend is Indian and while she was born and raised in Canada, her parents weren't. We've been dating for over a year and I met her family for the first time a couple weeks ago.

It was so incredibly awkward since her parents would rather her be with a brown doctor and she is the youngest of four kids with two older, overprotective brothers.

Meeting her father was like I was in an interview for a job. He asked me so many questions like education background and what I do for a living and what are my goals. And despite my best efforts her parents still don't like me solely because I'm white which means their grandkids will be mixed.

I felt like telling them to go fuck a goat but I kept my cool. She apologized later for her parents but admired my guts in meeting them. I mean who said anything about kids? We've only been dating a year.

I dunno what's going to happen. She doesn't want to get disowned from her family which is a possibility, but we were friends for years before we started a relationship and we want to be together.

Suffice to say the levels of awkwardness was at a very high level. Like 'mom caught me masturbating' level.

Thats actually quite common. Only one thing to do....Permanent spray tan and med school.

 

[WickedLiquid]

I'm worried about meeting my lady's Chinese parents, Wicked! I need some tips!! Luckily they cant speak English...which I'm not sure will help, but whatever.

Oh, and I'm going on a road trip in Iceland for a week with them too!

I think the fact they don't speak English is better. That way your girlfriend can translate what you say into what she knows they want to hear lol.

All you can do is be as polite as you can and express how much you care about her and how happy she makes you.

Thats actually quite common. Only one thing to do....Permanent spray tan and med school.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZg4XwVi3Qs

 

[NickKmet]

My lady friend is Indian and while she was born and raised in Canada, her parents weren't. We've been dating for over a year and I met her family for the first time a couple weeks ago.

It was so incredibly awkward since her parents would rather her be with a brown doctor and she is the youngest of four kids with two older, overprotective brothers.

Meeting her father was like I was in an interview for a job. He asked me so many questions like education background and what I do for a living and what are my goals. And despite my best efforts her parents still don't like me solely because I'm white which means their grandkids will be mixed.

I felt like telling them to go fuck a goat but I kept my cool. She apologized later for her parents but admired my guts in meeting them. I mean who said anything about kids? We've only been dating a year.

I dunno what's going to happen. She doesn't want to get disowned from her family which is a possibility, but we were friends for years before we started a relationship and we want to be together.

Suffice to say the levels of awkwardness was at a very high level. Like 'mom caught me masturbating' level.

While my last girlfriend's parents were white (as am I), I had a similar experience for different reasons: politics. I'm a pretty avowed liberal, but I don't bring up politics unless prompted. Her parents were rabid conservatives, of the fox news brand. Her dad at least knew not to bring those kinds of things up, but her mother just wouldn't shut up about "mexicans" (apparently all hispanics are mexican) and how Obama was the antichrist. The lady was fucking crazy. Somehow we dated for 2 years, and her parents didn't try to kill me.

 

[Master_Craig]

My lady friend is Indian and while she was born and raised in Canada, her parents weren't. We've been dating for over a year and I met her family for the first time a couple weeks ago.

It was so incredibly awkward since her parents would rather her be with a brown doctor and she is the youngest of four kids with two older, overprotective brothers.

Meeting her father was like I was in an interview for a job. He asked me so many questions like education background and what I do for a living and what are my goals. And despite my best efforts her parents still don't like me solely because I'm white which means their grandkids will be mixed.

I felt like telling them to go fuck a goat but I kept my cool. She apologized later for her parents but admired my guts in meeting them. I mean who said anything about kids? We've only been dating a year.

I dunno what's going to happen. She doesn't want to get disowned from her family which is a possibility, but we were friends for years before we started a relationship and we want to be together.

Suffice to say the levels of awkwardness was at a very high level. Like 'mom caught me masturbating' level.

That's rough, man! I've heard that situation is quite common. It's sad too. I wish you and your girlfriend all the best man, hopefully her parents can come around.

It kind of reminds me of my girlfriend and I, in a way. No she's not Indian or anything, but she has five brothers, one younger and four older, all quite protective and to be fair that's okay, that's fair enough. Three out of the five brothers though have expressed that if I ever "hurt" her, they're going to "hurt" me. My girlfriend and I have been together for eight months now, no problems yet, no one's hurt the other. The other two brothers were quite nice to me from the beginning.

In all honesty, sometimes I can't tell... did they act this way because they genuinely care about their sister? Or did they act this way because they wanted to look/sound tough and be "alpha male" basically? Or was it a bit of both?

The reason I can't tell is because the other three brothers (the ones who gave me that warning) try to act like tough guys, even though they don't actually do anything - no exercise, no sport, no martial arts or anything like that. One of them said to me once "I don't care how big you are, I don't care if you do judo, if you f*** up I'll f*** you up." I just rolled my eyes at that and said nothing.

I've learned when it comes to people threatening you, if they say they're going to do something to you, they won't do it. If someone really wanted to hurt you, they're not going to tell or warn you about it.

They can be quite rude to their sister sometimes and sometimes it upsets her, which annoys me quite a bit. But then again, that's siblings for you. I just find it a bit hypocritical, in a sense.

 

[Bretimus_v2]

Turn the tables on them and the next time they hurt her feelings shout, "you have besmirched m'lady's honour!"

Then backhand the shit out of them.

 

[C_nate]

It might seem hypocritical, but that's how it usually is. Family can talk shit about family and give each other a hard time, but if someone outside the family does the same thing, then it is a whole other thing. Kinda like in Regular Show how muscle man always makes jokes about his mom but when anyone else does it, he loses his shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDoPFPOiJe0