Today was rough man. I mean, working with kids with autism is always rough, but for some reason today was doubly bad. There was a major altercation today with the kid i'm in charge of. He basically had two major meltdowns, one where he got scared of another student having a meltdown, and it took me a whole thirty minutes to bring him back. He didn't have trouble or caused any at this point, but he was visibly upset and I had to remedy that, using some calming techniques we have used in the past, eye contact on me only, and not the problem so his focus is averted, counting numbers and deep breathing to calm himself down, letting him react by asking questions and talking to him to re-direct his focus as well. It worked, but took a long time to do so. It was like talking to someone who is paralyzed with fear and keeping them sane, basically. Later on though, he had a meltdown of his own at dismissal. He basically was triggered by an item in the class that was not his and wanted to take it for himself. It was a thirty minute ordeal then to calm him down and get him back to class. Similar techniques were used with more force. The kid, someone whom I have worked with since I started the job, even put his hands on me. I did my best to not yell at him as this would escalate everything, but I did have to firmly remove his grasp around me, since I was essentially blocking his view from the book. We eventually needed security to help us calm him down, which did work, and escorted him to his bus at that point to go home. It was after this, and I was driving, when I felt dizzy and disoriented. When I got to my school for class tonight, I pretty much zoned out and almost fainted, on campus. I also felt pain in my chest, so I doubt it was a heart attack. So I got up, drank something quick, and headed home, missing class and all of that. It is making me reflect on my current job. I am working as a paraprofessional, one of five in a classroom, with a one to one basis on the five kids in there. It's basically collaboration for a full year at this point, with three years of subbing on my belt. And it has worn me down to the point where I don't know if I can physically continue. I know this may be a bit over some peoples head, but what do you think about this? I want to teach, and while my job right now has been rewarding and a challenge, I honestly feel it is wearing me down physically. Any thoughts or comments are greatly appreciated.