Why must ketchup be so awkward?

Discussion in 'Films, TV, Music, Books, Etc.' started by WickedLiquid, May 19, 2014.

  1. WickedLiquid

    WickedLiquid Regular

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2009
    Messages:
    7,746
    Likes Received:
    0
    I mean, you've got the bottle of ketchup that refuses to come out. You spank it, you get in there with a knife, but it just won't come out on it's own.

    Then you've got the squeezable ketchup that is supposed to cure this frustration. But all this ketchup does is make farting noises. It's awkward trying to squeeze on some Heniz at a BBQ and just hear the sounds of flatulence in a public setting.

    Now I love me some ketchup but I can't stand how awkward it is. So from now on I'm only using packets. This is what it's come down to people. This is my reality.

    What condiment do you love to hate?
     
    #1
  2. Green_Lantern

    Green_Lantern Forum Moderator
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2008
    Messages:
    5,987
    Likes Received:
    22
    Horseradish is about the only condiment you need.
     
    #2
  3. intoTheRain

    intoTheRain Regular

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2006
    Messages:
    3,622
    Likes Received:
    0
    Not to mention the worst invention of all time, the easy squeeze ketchup bottle.


    Once you finally put enough pressure on it, it explodes all over the place. Not nice if you like to go light on the ketchup.

    Why can't they just put ketchup in a mustard bottle and be done with it. Mustard has no issues.


    I don't really hate any condiment.. maybe relish.


    But I also don't love condiments. I put zero condiments on a good cheese burger. A little ketchup on a hot dog/sausage.

    I like condiments on fast food burgers though. Dunno why.
    '


    When it comes to quality food, nothing grinds my gears more than seeing someone douse it in some kind of disgusting, processed, salty condiment.

    Like BBQ sauce on a gorgeous steak. Ketchup on home made mac n cheese. Etc.. raaage.

    Steak should be eaten with a little salt/pepper/and butter. I wanna taste steak, not BBQ sauce.
     
    #3
  4. Bretimus_v2

    Bretimus_v2 Hey kiddo!

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2009
    Messages:
    10,979
    Likes Received:
    14
    I love to marinade my steaks and it pisses me off when my wife puts out A1 or BBQ sauce. One, I flavored it. Two, you wouldn't need that if you took your steak medium well instead of charcol.

    Clean squeeze ketchup. The worst invention. It's like the explosive diarhea of condiments. It forewarned the after effects of eating half a pack of hotdogs.
     
    #4
  5. Master_Craig

    Master_Craig Forum Moderator
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2006
    Messages:
    4,207
    Likes Received:
    146
    It's a constant debate over here in Australia and in England (I'm sure MattAY can relate to this and he'll probably hate me for what I'm about to say), but I like to use tomato sauce (or hell, ketchup) on hot chips, or "fries" if you wanna call 'em that. I'm "that guy" who basically douses his hot chips with sauce.

    If I have gravy instead of sauce, I'll use the gravy.

    When it comes to steak, I usually just eat the steak with nothing added to it, no salt or pepper etc. My girlfriend cooked me a steak with Italian herbs and I really enjoyed that.

    When I go to restaurants and order a steak, I love a steak with mush room sauce. That's beautiful.

    To be fair I am a terrible person to try and critique food and methods of eating it. I honestly enjoy most food and end up just saying "It's really good" or something. I eat almost anything.
     
    #5
  6. Wes

    Wes Rookie

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2005
    Messages:
    2,746
    Likes Received:
    0
    Mayonnaise is the most disgusting condiment that is commonly used. It even looks like a big tub of fat.
     
    #6
  7. UghRochester

    UghRochester https://www.twitch.tv/ughrochester

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2006
    Messages:
    8,447
    Likes Received:
    10
    I like Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ on my burgers, but that's only if I don't season my burgers. I don't salt anything, because I really dislike salty foods. I can't stand seeing people use A1 steak sauce, because it's not that important.
     
    #7
  8. Longo_2_guns

    Longo_2_guns Forum Moderator
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2003
    Messages:
    17,189
    Likes Received:
    47
    To get ketchup out of a glass bottle...

    Hold the bottom in your right hand.
    Set your other hand as if you are karate chopping your plate. Perfectly straight and vertical.
    Now tap the bottle about half an inch from the rim against your fingers.

    Do this for a little bit and the ketchup will come right out.
     
    #8
  9. used44

    used44 Forum Moderator
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2002
    Messages:
    21,825
    Likes Received:
    27
    Agreed! I'm not a freak about it if it ends up on my food, and I'll use it in certain cooking applications like pasta salad, but I'll never put it on a sandwich myself.
     
    #9
  10. intoTheRain

    intoTheRain Regular

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2006
    Messages:
    3,622
    Likes Received:
    0
    what blows my mind is that it caught on. and almost all ketchup bottles are "easy" squeeze now.

    "wait for it.... wait for it.. squeeze just a little harder, a litttle harder... BOOOM KETCHUP EXPLOSION YOUR FOOD IS RUINED ENJOY"
     
    #10
  11. used44

    used44 Forum Moderator
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2002
    Messages:
    21,825
    Likes Received:
    27
    Still better than the glass jars they have at old diners though. There's no physical way to retrieve the ketchup. Sir Isaac Newton does not approve.
     
    #11
  12. WickedLiquid

    WickedLiquid Regular

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2009
    Messages:
    7,746
    Likes Received:
    0
    Also honey mustard > regular mustard

    JS!
     
    #12
  13. Green_Lantern

    Green_Lantern Forum Moderator
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2008
    Messages:
    5,987
    Likes Received:
    22
    I usually just flick the top with a finger and it works just the same.


    My favorite steak place in TX has a jalapeño butter on their steaks....soooo good.
     
    #13
  14. Sourdeez

    Sourdeez Rookie

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2012
    Messages:
    2,979
    Likes Received:
    0
    Same goes for miracle whip.

    And when your diner is cheap and tries to refill bottles with old ones, the bacteria will grow and cause an increase in pressure until they explode!
    Plus bacteria in your ketchup. Yuck!


    I sousvide(vacuum sealed water bath) my steaks at 130F 54.4C and quick sear them on the grill. No seasoning.
    If you would like to get into it here is a great little guide.
    http://www.seriouseats.com/2010/03/how- ... steak.html
    [​IMG]
     
    #14
  15. Master_Craig

    Master_Craig Forum Moderator
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2006
    Messages:
    4,207
    Likes Received:
    146
    Agreed. There's something about mayonnaise that looks absolutely revolting. Doesn't taste very good either.
     
    #15
  16. MattAY

    MattAY Forum Moderator
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2006
    Messages:
    13,751
    Likes Received:
    41
    I hate ALL condiments. Salt & pepper is all I need baby. (Dont do it, dont "push it")
     
    #16
  17. intoTheRain

    intoTheRain Regular

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2006
    Messages:
    3,622
    Likes Received:
    0
    Pretty much me.
     
    #17
  18. Affen

    Affen Rookie

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2008
    Messages:
    2,058
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hear, hear. Many great sandwiches have been ruined by having that awful stuff in it.

    Almost empty ketchup bottles are the worst. When you finally get something to come out, it's usually a spray that hit everything else than the plate.
     
    #18
  19. De-Ting

    De-Ting Rookie

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2006
    Messages:
    9,058
    Likes Received:
    0
    I freaking love mayo, especially on turkey sandwiches and pineapples with cheese.
     
    #19
  20. MattAY

    MattAY Forum Moderator
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2006
    Messages:
    13,751
    Likes Received:
    41
    Good to know I'm not alone! Cant tell you how many times my friends have called me a freak for not liking ketchup, brown sauce, mayo etc. I don't know what it is I dislike about them, maybe the "processed-ness"? If that describes it at all.

    I'm putting more and more black pepper on everything these days too, the other day I put it on chips (fries).
     
    #20

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice