Why must ketchup be so awkward?

WickedLiquid

Regular
I mean, you've got the bottle of ketchup that refuses to come out. You spank it, you get in there with a knife, but it just won't come out on it's own.

Then you've got the squeezable ketchup that is supposed to cure this frustration. But all this ketchup does is make farting noises. It's awkward trying to squeeze on some Heniz at a BBQ and just hear the sounds of flatulence in a public setting.

Now I love me some ketchup but I can't stand how awkward it is. So from now on I'm only using packets. This is what it's come down to people. This is my reality.

What condiment do you love to hate?
 
Not to mention the worst invention of all time, the easy squeeze ketchup bottle.


Once you finally put enough pressure on it, it explodes all over the place. Not nice if you like to go light on the ketchup.

Why can't they just put ketchup in a mustard bottle and be done with it. Mustard has no issues.


I don't really hate any condiment.. maybe relish.


But I also don't love condiments. I put zero condiments on a good cheese burger. A little ketchup on a hot dog/sausage.

I like condiments on fast food burgers though. Dunno why.
'


When it comes to quality food, nothing grinds my gears more than seeing someone douse it in some kind of disgusting, processed, salty condiment.

Like BBQ sauce on a gorgeous steak. Ketchup on home made mac n cheese. Etc.. raaage.

Steak should be eaten with a little salt/pepper/and butter. I wanna taste steak, not BBQ sauce.
 
I love to marinade my steaks and it pisses me off when my wife puts out A1 or BBQ sauce. One, I flavored it. Two, you wouldn't need that if you took your steak medium well instead of charcol.

Clean squeeze ketchup. The worst invention. It's like the explosive diarhea of condiments. It forewarned the after effects of eating half a pack of hotdogs.
 
It's a constant debate over here in Australia and in England (I'm sure MattAY can relate to this and he'll probably hate me for what I'm about to say), but I like to use tomato sauce (or hell, ketchup) on hot chips, or "fries" if you wanna call 'em that. I'm "that guy" who basically douses his hot chips with sauce.

If I have gravy instead of sauce, I'll use the gravy.

When it comes to steak, I usually just eat the steak with nothing added to it, no salt or pepper etc. My girlfriend cooked me a steak with Italian herbs and I really enjoyed that.

When I go to restaurants and order a steak, I love a steak with mush room sauce. That's beautiful.

To be fair I am a terrible person to try and critique food and methods of eating it. I honestly enjoy most food and end up just saying "It's really good" or something. I eat almost anything.
 
Mayonnaise is the most disgusting condiment that is commonly used. It even looks like a big tub of fat.
 
I like Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ on my burgers, but that's only if I don't season my burgers. I don't salt anything, because I really dislike salty foods. I can't stand seeing people use A1 steak sauce, because it's not that important.
 
To get ketchup out of a glass bottle...

Hold the bottom in your right hand.
Set your other hand as if you are karate chopping your plate. Perfectly straight and vertical.
Now tap the bottle about half an inch from the rim against your fingers.

Do this for a little bit and the ketchup will come right out.
 
Wes said:
Mayonnaise is the most disgusting condiment that is commonly used. It even looks like a big tub of fat.

Agreed! I'm not a freak about it if it ends up on my food, and I'll use it in certain cooking applications like pasta salad, but I'll never put it on a sandwich myself.
 
Bretimus_v2 said:
Clean squeeze ketchup. The worst invention. It's like the explosive diarhea of condiments. It forewarned the after effects of eating half a pack of hotdogs.

what blows my mind is that it caught on. and almost all ketchup bottles are "easy" squeeze now.

"wait for it.... wait for it.. squeeze just a little harder, a litttle harder... BOOOM KETCHUP EXPLOSION YOUR FOOD IS RUINED ENJOY"
 
Still better than the glass jars they have at old diners though. There's no physical way to retrieve the ketchup. Sir Isaac Newton does not approve.
 
Longo_2_guns said:
To get ketchup out of a glass bottle...

Hold the bottom in your right hand.
Set your other hand as if you are karate chopping your plate. Perfectly straight and vertical.
Now tap the bottle about half an inch from the rim against your fingers.

Do this for a little bit and the ketchup will come right out.

I usually just flick the top with a finger and it works just the same.


My favorite steak place in TX has a jalapeño butter on their steaks....soooo good.
 
Wes said:
Mayonnaise is the most disgusting condiment.

Same goes for miracle whip.

used44 said:
Still better than the glass jars they have at old diners though. There's no physical way to retrieve the ketchup. Sir Isaac Newton does not approve.

And when your diner is cheap and tries to refill bottles with old ones, the bacteria will grow and cause an increase in pressure until they explode!
Plus bacteria in your ketchup. Yuck!


I sousvide(vacuum sealed water bath) my steaks at 130F 54.4C and quick sear them on the grill. No seasoning.
If you would like to get into it here is a great little guide.
http://www.seriouseats.com/2010/03/how- ... steak.html
20100303-sous-vide-steak-hanger.jpg
 
Wes said:
Mayonnaise is the most disgusting condiment that is commonly used. It even looks like a big tub of fat.

Agreed. There's something about mayonnaise that looks absolutely revolting. Doesn't taste very good either.
 
I hate ALL condiments. Salt & pepper is all I need baby. (Dont do it, dont "push it")
 
Wes said:
Mayonnaise is the most disgusting condiment that is commonly used. It even looks like a big tub of fat.

Hear, hear. Many great sandwiches have been ruined by having that awful stuff in it.

Almost empty ketchup bottles are the worst. When you finally get something to come out, it's usually a spray that hit everything else than the plate.
 
intoTheRain said:
MattAY said:
I hate ALL condiments. Salt & pepper is all I need baby. (Dont do it, dont "push it")

Pretty much me.

Good to know I'm not alone! Cant tell you how many times my friends have called me a freak for not liking ketchup, brown sauce, mayo etc. I don't know what it is I dislike about them, maybe the "processed-ness"? If that describes it at all.

I'm putting more and more black pepper on everything these days too, the other day I put it on chips (fries).
 

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