We need a new apocalypse

[WickedLiquid]

Ok guys, time to scam some money out of people.

Whoever came up with the whole 2012 end of the world scam wasn't very smart. The Y2K scare was much more effective because people actually bought Anti-virus software and people made money from it. We need to come up with a Y2K-type apocalypse where we can scam money out of people. But it has to be believable enough so that the crackpots will go for it. Any ideas?

Zombies have been "in" for quite awhile. How about we stage a zombie apocalypse where it has been foretold that the dead will rise in 2015? Unless they protect themselves with the antidote that we continently create in 2014 (gotta give em two years to let the rumours spread).

I'll get in touch with Roland Emmerich.

 

[Longo_2_guns]

Whoever came up with the whole 2012 end of the world scam wasn't very smart.

Which is why the Spanish killed them all.

 

[Rakon]

Well played Longo

 

[LinksOcarina]

Whoever came up with the whole 2012 end of the world scam wasn't very smart.

Which is why the Spanish killed them all.

Quote of the week nomination?

In all seriousness...new apocalypse will come forth in twenty or so years anyway...

 

[cyberjim2000]

The apocalypse will come every few years or so. It's like humanity has a hard on for it or something.

 

[De-Ting]

The apocalypse might not happen this year, but you can be a bunch of messed up crap is gonna happen around that time.

Selling a mace, taser, kevlar vest, gas mask, and chastity belt emergency kit has got to be the right way to go if you're lookin' to score off of it.

 

[TheJx4]

What's up with Japan?

are we next?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH DAVID SCHWIMMER?

 

[madster111]

We could build bunkers with really slow elevators to trick people into thinking they're going km down into the center of the planet.

Just don't lean too hard on the concrete painted cardboard walls.

Only $200,000 per person.

 

[Icepick]

if all you need is money: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjj8eMNxivM

 

[TheDiesel]

You'd be surprised, early in 2011, there was the whole Rapture thing which got a bunch of money to the Churches around the whole bit and got people across the country to donate and pray, for nothing to happen.

This also happened October 2011 as well with nothing happening again.

 

[madster111]

if all you need is money: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjj8eMNxivM

That's pretty much the best idea i've ever heard.

 

[Affen]

Well churches have done good work throught the ages collecting money and assuring your salvation.

Maybe Apple could release iPhone iPocalypse edition which will supposedly keep you safe when SHTF.

Or we could start a petition to stop the armageddon. With enough signatures I'm sure it'll listen.

Anyone wanna bet the cause? I've put all my money to dolphins.

 

[BlackStar]

IN 2017 YOUR CATS WILL KILL YOU

Due to an anomaly in the space-time continuum scientists have predicted that in 2017, a new strain of virus sent from the future will turn your adorable cats into meowing, purring, killing machines.

The only way to stop them is to send $5 to our cause that will help seal up the wormhole that will strike us in 2017 and thus preventing the futuristic virus from infecting cats all around the world and killing us all.

SAVE THE WORLD, BE A HERO! STOP THE APOCALYPSE TODAY!

 

[De-Ting]

Man, that's a cute picture. You have my support. Save the cats...AND YOURSELVES!!!

 

[Bretimus_v2]

In 2020, kindness will actually kill.

Be an a**hole.

Then we can offer online training course with different classes and emphasiseseses (sp?). Like Jersey Shore, the internet neck beard, succesful prick, the manchild, Icepick, etc.

 

[Delorean88]

Anyone wanna bet the cause? I've put all my money to dolphins.

Ever since watching that episode of simpsons I've never trusted dolphins

 

[Wes]

^
THIS

 

[FrozenBacon]

2038 bug is a lot like the y2k bug. It deals with systems using a 32-bit value to store the date, in 2038 the system will run out of incremental bits and will increment the signed bit, resulting in the system reporting the date as some day in 1901. Thing is, this is only a real problem with 32-bit unix systems. I would guess that about half of home computers today are 64-bit windows or unix(macs) systems. By 2032 one could safely say almost all home computers will be 64-bit.

However, one can easily profit from this because a person may unknowingly use a product that utilizes a 32-bit unix system. Things that spring into mind are Blu-Ray players, MP3 players, some car systems, and hell, even some microwaves. The way one could profit off of this is make some sort of software protection suite that checks if a device is "Y2K38 proof". It is pretty absurd if you really think about it, but so was Y2K. I'm sure if you were smart enough one could generate enough panic around this bug and profit off it. Once could easily assume that critical systems could use old hardware that may be vulnerable to this bug and cause mass hysteria from this.

It is a bit too early to generate any panic from this bug as people will quickly forget about something that doesn't happen within the year, so I would wait till 2036 or 2037 to start striking fear into anyone's heart.

 

[GiftedMonkey]

We don't need to create an apocalypse, peak oil and global warming is going to be the one-two punch that disrupts food systems across the globe and most of humanity will starve to death.

So you sell a "100% medically accurate" pill that fills you up for for life and is SPF 95. Talk to the Extenz people, maybe you can get their snake oil recipe.

 

[cyberjim2000]

I'd go for the Soylent Green route.