What's your stance on lending people money?

Discussion in 'Films, TV, Music, Books, Etc.' started by Colin_B, Sep 7, 2015.

  1. Colin_B

    Colin_B Forum Moderator
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    Money is a difficult subject for some people to talk about. Even worse is the assumptions we make about those who have it, or those who don't or have made poor decisions. Lending money is arguably even more of a challenge to bring up whether you're asking to borrow it or you're asking someone to pay you back.

    What end of the spectrum do you land on when it comes to lending out your hard earned dollars to someone? I used to not really care until recently. My sister in law and her husband had their car repossessed a while ago and I decided to lend them a bit of cash to get it out of repo. It wasn't much. About 150 dollars. My wife's cousin had loan them the rest - Closer to 400. Weeks went by with no communication on where they were at in terms of paying me back. This was after I was told it would only be a couple of weeks. Then I see them eating out at restaurants and going to the movies and the zoo. I get it. Even when money is tight you need those escapes from everything. After a few ignored text messages I finally got a response and they gave me $20.00. This was back in May I believe. It's now September and I haven't seen another dime and again, no "hey sorry things are really tight right now."

    Needless to say this has left a sour taste in my mouth. Am I being an asshole for thinking I'm entitled to some sort of communication? Perhaps they're just embarrassed and don't want to discuss it. Either way, it's mildly irritating. I'll live without the money but at the same time, things pop up for us too and it would definitely help out.

    Anyways, have you had any bad experiences lending people money or is it something you just don't do?

    Oh and as for my sister in laws cousin? He moved to China and also hasn't seen a dime.
     
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  2. Green_Lantern

    Green_Lantern Forum Moderator
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    Don't ever lend someone money you aren't expecting to get back.
     
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  3. Master_Craig

    Master_Craig Forum Moderator
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    Lethean mate, you've got every right to be annoyed. I'd be very annoyed if I lent someone cash and never heard back at all. Not responding to texts? That's rude. Seeing them out at places? Understandably yeah, people need a break and they need to enjoy themselves, but I think they're just being rude. Sorry to say that man, but you've got every right to be annoyed. Surely if someone lent you money, you'd try and get it back to them as quickly as possible and if things are tight, be honest about it and tell them you need a bit more time.

    I don't like lending money. I only do it to very close friends (essentially family friends) and immediate family, basically people I know and trust will pay me back. It takes time, but they do it. They never do it in bulk either, they basically do it in installments, which I'm happy with. I also hate borrowing money, I can't stand doing that to friends/family.

    I do have one story about money lending, and it's not starring me.

    One of my mates was living interstate for a while (gonna call him Fred). Another friend of ours was living with him, he can be Bob. Bob couldn't afford rent because he didn't have a job, so Fred kept giving him money to help him out. Fred tried to help Bob look for a job, any job really because Bob had bugger all qualifications, but Bob rejected all the jobs and didn't apply for anything. He didn't want to work at a place like McDonalds or Subway, but when you're desperate, "a jobs a job", right? Well, not to Bob, he was above that despite being super lazy.

    Eventually, Bob had to move back home because he couldn't afford it anymore and he owed Fred $1,500.00 in total. It took him ages to get it back, and while Bob was back home, he was buying stuff with money he didn't have - video games, toys, nerf guns etc. basically being a man child, he was borrowing money off his mum. I tried to tell off Bob about it and his response was just "I know..." "Yes I know..." I was trying to give Fred a hand by being on Bob's case all the time.

    Fred and Bob's friendship was massively strained, but in the end Bob got a job in retail, worked for a while and managed to pay off Fred in full.

    You have to be very careful about who you lend money to, if at all. Money changes people and can put a huge strain on friendships and relationships. If you've lent a generous amount of money to someone and they're not paying you back, ignoring your questions etc. then you've got every right to be annoyed.
     
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  4. Optimus-Crime

    Optimus-Crime Rookie

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    I've lent money to cousins, aunts, uncles and was always paid back, but one uncle still owes me ~ $3000, and I'm being conservative.
    I lent him $4000. I did this over 10 years ago.

    The cool part is now I have a reason to no longer lend money out to my family, so no one will even ask because they know why (my shit uncle).

    I'm much more likely to lend money to friends than family.

    As for the $3000? Lesson learned. He's not going to repay me, though, and I'm okay with him staying away because of this unpaid loan.
     
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  5. Colin_B

    Colin_B Forum Moderator
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    See that just makes me feel like a twat complaining about 150 dollars when you're out 4K. I guess it's more the principle of the matter than the dollar amount. That was nice of you to do that for your Uncle and it's good your family at least knows your reason for not lending money out to them anymore. Not like you really need a reason in the first place, it's your money but it's good to have their understanding.
     
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  6. Optimus-Crime

    Optimus-Crime Rookie

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    No way, man, you're right to be pissed about $150. See, I wanted this man out of my hair, and my family got too used to asking me to borrow money. That's the only reason I'm not chasing his dumb ass. I had to tell an aunt that I was no longer lending out money (because of shit uncle) and she tried shaming me because of it.
    Something like, "oh, everyone gets money xept me blah blah." Oh, waah. Blame your shit head brother.

    Beyond that uncle, I get all of my money back, whether it be $800 from a cousin, $100 from a different cousin on his girlfriend's birthday, or even $1 dollar from some fuck "friend" I did not like--I do not like being loose with my money, so you're absolutely in the right. If it was the other way around I'm sure they'd feel the same about their money.

    It's bullshit. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't, so I just don't and keep my money in the bank.

    My uncle acted like it hurt him to give me $20 bucks once. Like, physically, while reaching for his wallet and letting out a "you're lucky I'm doing this for you, kid" sigh. Mother fucker.

    He bought a suburban for his wife with the money. Dick.
     
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  7. Sourdeez

    Sourdeez Rookie

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    "You got the dough? Then there you go!"
    Pineapple Express


    I don't lend money. I get tired of me having to go chase people down and then I feel bad in my soul because I don't want to be that guy.

    I specifically don't lend money to family because I know how nasty it can get. If you do lend money I suggest you sit down and write out the amount and the dates it is to be re-payed and have all parties sign it. I am not a lawyer but it is better than nothing.
     
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  8. UghRochester

    UghRochester https://www.twitch.tv/ughrochester

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    If I have the money, I try to do what I can to help. I was always taught to help others, because someday I would need help.
     
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  9. UrbanMasque

    UrbanMasque Everyone Wears a Mask

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    I don't lend out anything over $100 in principle, and thats only to VERY close friends down on hard times. Not even family.. I had my nephew (19yrs old) ask for about $400 which I didn't have but wouldn't have given it up event if I did. At the same time, I never ask either. If life deals me a bad hand, I have to deal with it because I don't want to put people in that position and have them think I'm a mooch. If I don't have it, then I wont be getting it. I'm not a loan shark and I don't like tracking people down for funds especially when I need them and you shouldn't either. Lending money is like gambling - maybe you'll see it back, but you shouldn't lend anything you EXPECT to get back.

    It sucks that you lent the money especially because you prob felt obligated through your wife, but someone getting a car repo'd already has cash issues and mismanaged money because they thought they could afford something they obviously couldn't. You take the hit for that & they take the hit for abusing your kindness.

    You should ask them for it, but NEVER ever lend them anything else - like not even a lawnmower or a record or a video game.

    Anything over $5 you're in your right to ask for it back. How much you want to hound them is up to you. If you're going to family functions at their house or something don't bring anything - let them work it off by supplying you booze or BBQing or some shit.

    I feel for you man, I would miss that $150. Your wife should be asking for the funds honestly since she can dance around offending her sister, but I'll leave that judgment to you.
     
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  10. KurtCobain94

    KurtCobain94 Rookie

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    I have two rules when loaning money

    1) I never loan out more than I can afford to lose

    and

    2) I never loan you money if you currently owe me money, no matter how small the amount you may owe me is.


    It has served me fairly well. It has burned me a few times, but if they are that desperate for the cash they probably need it more than I do and they will not get anymore. This philosophy has allowed me to help out several people in times of need.

    I've loaned out amounts as small as $20 and never got paid back on it and the largest I ever loaned was $2,250 and I was paid back every cent. I've come to find the bigger loans have always paid me back. I've loaned out the previously mentioned $2,250, $900, and $650 to three different individuals and all three were paid back.

    I tell myself that when it is my turn to ask for help that I will have some good fortune come my way.
     
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  11. Master_Craig

    Master_Craig Forum Moderator
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    ^ Good call.

    I agree, when ever I lend large amounts of money, it always gets paid back. In saying that, I only lend large amounts of money to very close, family-like friends, and immediate family if need be.

    Smaller money, like $5, $10 or $20, I won't be surprised if I don't get back. Shits me off too, especially if I bring it up.

    I remember I lent one "friend" $10, then a little while later I said, "Hey sorry man, you got my ten?" and he responds "It's only ten bucks, what's the big deal?"

    We're not friends anymore. Not just over that, but he was just... a toxic person.
     
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  12. LinksOcarina

    LinksOcarina Rookie

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    You promise to pay me back?

    If not, I charge interest.

    In all seriousness, I lend money to friends when they need it, i'm kind of altruistic like that, and I don't expect to get it back but when they do pay, its really nice.
     
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  13. CaptainBarner

    CaptainBarner Rookie

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    some people unfortunately habit of borrowing small sums những and broken into several times . then pretended to forget us and for that do not need chúng returned to me . I really do not like that. and next time , I will not let them borrow
     
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  14. CaptainBarner

    CaptainBarner Rookie

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    some people unfortunately habit of borrowing small sums những and broken into several times . then pretended to forget us and for that do not need chúng returned to me . I really do not like that. and next time , I will not let them borrow
     
    #14
  15. CaptainBarner

    CaptainBarner Rookie

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    some people unfortunately habit of borrowing small sums những and broken into several times . then pretended to forget us and for that do not need chúng returned to me . I really do not like that. and next time , I will not let them borrow
     
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  16. intoTheRain

    intoTheRain Regular

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    Only lend as much as I'm comfortable with losing. I won't pester the person to pay me back and it won't ruin my relationship with them if they don't. But they'll never see a dime from me again.

    Basically my money lending rules in a nut shell.
     
    #16

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