oh facebook.

[Green_Lantern]

Na man....just go - it is your daughter's recital afterall - but just get your own seats. don't make any contact with her - obviously say hi to her family if they initiate a conversation, but leave it at just that. she needs to learn to live with the consequences of divorce, and it doesn't sound like she is fully ready to do that. The kids need to see you together line is just bullshit. My parents got divorced probably 15 years ago now and they never went to my shit together - that's kinda the point of a divorce.

just get her out of your life for now, with the only contact between you two is regarding your kids, because really the kids are the most important part that you should fight for which it sounds like you're doing.

 

[Bretimus_v2]

Wow, you're not together. She knows that. You should go, I'd say hi to everyone and then go sit by yourself. You shouldn't sit together. And besides, divorce and separation are hard on kids, the last thing they need is to be confused about your guys' status. Are they together or apart, together, apart?

The important thing is that you don't try and "get them on your side" or talk about how there mom is a bitch, or use them to pass info or spy on the other person. That shit will mess a kid up.

They definitely need to know that you're both still parents and you're both on the same page on parenting (even if you're not). Then again, don't turn a blind eye to anything serious.

Rough waters, friend.

 

[Daddio]

Well it turns out my youngest son will be coming with us this year, last year he was too young. So I will just sit on the other side of him.

Here's a question for anyone tech savvy with mobile data usage. Any idea what could be used to suck 40-50mb (sometimes 60-80mb) a hour?? Do any mobile games actually use that much data?? Or is it voice calls / video calls more likely.

 

[Guernica]

Well it turns out my youngest son will be coming with us this year, last year he was too young. So I will just sit on the other side of him.

Here's a question for anyone tech savvy with mobile data usage. Any idea what could be used to suck 40-50mb (sometimes 60-80mb) a hour?? Do any mobile games actually use that much data?? Or is it voice calls / video calls more likely.

Regular voice calls aren't really going to be using any data but video calls via Skype or google chat could be using up quite a bit of data. Also I don't think most games use very much data while they are running, but it's pretty dam easy to download shittons of games all at the same time which depending on the size of the game and how many are downloading could use up a lot of your data as well..

 

[Daddio]

8.1 gigs in 2 months ..

 

[Guernica]

8.1 gigs in 2 months ..

Could be an excessive use of an application like pandora. Basically anything streaming(This includes video chat too) is going to use up a lot of data and it's easy not to realize it till after the fact.

 

[intoTheRain]

8.1 gigs in 2 months ..

I used 8 gigs on my phone in 2 months and I was trying not to !


I realized I was streaming a lot of youtube videos on it at work, sucks the data FAST. And of course I had to watch the HQ versions.

 

[danielrbischoff]

8.1 gigs in 2 months ..

Any kind of streaming video.

 

[Daddio]

Thanks again guys. The last 4 days I've hit the gym with a buddy of mine. Been doing between 30-60 minutes of cardio each day and workin in the muscle groups. I used to be heavily into weightlifting before I met my ex. I was in the best shape of my life.

Currently going to follow a lead to a possible new job, it's significantly less money from what I hear .. but I won't be working rotation shifts no more and have a solid mon-fri day shift. Something with stability.

The mornings still are hard, but the biggest hurdle I'm having now is just not caring about what she is doing. Mostly about this trip she plans on taking in July to meet her gaming buddies .. the ones she has only played with since the beginning of the year. I just find it so inappropriate for a mother of 2 to take off on a 16 hour road trip to spend the weekend with a bunch of gamers. Am I wrong in this?

Just don't know how to not give a shit about this particular tidbit.

 

[danielrbischoff]

THAT IS SO MUCH CARDIO.

Mostly dude you just have to do your own thing. You're already on that tip thought with exercising, new job, etc. Find a new hobby? Pick up a game you've been meaning to play? Have a poker night? Daddio, again I have to say you're doing a great job with all of this. I know it's not, but you sure are making it look easy!

 

[Robmiester]

I recently broke up with my girlfriend, due to me just getting fed up with the same unpredictable random times we were having where no matter what she would just be way too negative, nothing i could say or do would make her give a shit about anything, no motivation, no spontinuity, no excitement, nothing. Anyways, its not anywhere close to the same degree as a marriage with little younglings but listen:

Every week i hear the same shit from her and her friends on facebook saying :
girls night!! Drinks and the bar!!! Wooooo gonna have a blast!
Last night = success!!!!
Omg check out this vid, nuff said!! Beibers 'boyfriend' music video.
I love my bffae!!! Dont need anything else!!
Im having the best day!!!
Shopping for sexy clothes with da gurlz!! Gonna look sexy tonight

Girls are just fucked, pay no mind to it. Continue to be a man, defuse the mind bombs they feebley attempt to plant in your brain, and never lose track on whats important.
To a woman importance is how much they can get out of their man, while shamefully being lazy hoping their man will love them "for better or for WORSE". Because its a big fucking deal that they slap peanut butter and jam on a slice of bread. When a man works hard everyday of his life for the survival of his family. A woman can be a stupid bitch and somehow convince themself they are a fucking queen without losing face. Head trips.

 

[Daddio]

Keeps getting more and more baffling by the day.

So this weekend I didn't have the kids, they were with her. Daughter has dance class every Saturday and I decided to show up for it. Get there .. they aren't there. I wait 15 minutes (so I don't come off harassing her) and give her a call. Just so happened she was pulling into the parking lot.

Told me she was late because my son was throwing a huge fit in the car, she had to turn around on the highway and go back home, drop him off with her dad. Apparently it was because he didn't want to wear his jacket .. so instead of just taking it off she dumped him with grandpa. I asked her why she didn't just take the jacket off and she said she wasn't going to give into his whining. So, it was the first time she brought the kids to dance by herself and she already couldn't do it. I went 5 weeks in a row and had both of them with me just fine.

This is when it gets really fantastical and interesting. We were standing there watching my daughter when she asks me out of no where if I plan on staying at my moms for the time being. I told her I had no reason not to, but I might have a new job and I would consider moving closer to the location. She asks me what kind of job and I told her .. and of course, she laughed at me, saying how I don't have any experience in that field. Told her I would get trained and I was looking forward to the skills I would pick up.

So then, she drops the bomb on me. Tells me that the government got back to her in regards to her application for assisted housing and they told her she needs to have proof of full custody of the kids to qualify. She seriously asked me for full custody of the kids so she can go live in welfare housing with them.

Of course I said no, she said that she would be out of a place to live in July after her parents sold there house. Explained to her that I was not going to give up my legal rights to my children so she can go live in welfare housing. Who knows, in 2 years she could have a different job and not need the welfare anymore .. then I'm out of any legal decisions for my children.

She kept saying that I would be putting her out of a home and I told her that I would never settle for anything more than 50 / 50 custody. Then she asks me if I'm worried that she wouldn't let me see the kids after she had custody and I explained it had nothing to do with her, it had to do with my legal rights to my children. She said I could still have them every other week like we are doing now and I still refused. Told her I would never change my mind on the subject.

Today, when she dropped the kids off she asked me to help her out with grocery money when the kids go to her place for the week. I agreed. But want to know what's once again just so puzzling about that request? I offered her money (handed her a check) 2 weeks ago when she took the kids for her first week and she refused it. Told me she would be fine on her own. Didn't need it.

So, in 3 weeks she has refused my child support money, then asked me for full custody of the kids (when she couldn't even handle bringing both to dance) and then asks me for financial support after refusing it .. what a mind fuck.

Seeing how I'm off work for now and on employment insurance I make just as much as she does. She also gets the child tax money (I haven't bothered going after it) and she needs financial support? Her parents make her suppers. We both got half the savings money when I told her to leave.

Oh and another thing. I looked into the whole welfare housing and full custody thing. She can't give me the kids in a 50 / 50 type of arrangement because she can be reported for not having them and get evicted .. she doesn't even fully know what she's getting into.

She also brought up the divorce mediator / company I had told her about. Asking me when I wanted to start that up. I told her I wasn't in no hurry, wasn't looking to stall nothing but at the same time I'm enjoying myself and not looking to start huge arguments about anything for now.



I love this girl, I do. I worry about her and care for her. But I'm not in love with her. She is just so over the damn place it makes no sense.

 

[Icepick]

Let her spiral down, take the kids for full custody when she's in ruin, you win the game

 

[NickKmet]

At this point Daddio, I don't really see how she gets any custody of the kids at this point.

On a side note, my girlfriend could be potentially moving to Nashville, TN (I currently live in Washington State, several thousand miles away for you non-Americans). She really wants to get a job there in the music industry, or in radio, and has an opportunity to move there and nanny while looking for a full time job. I told her I wasn't going to break up with her if she moves away, but I seriously worry about how a long distance relationship is going to work for us. I still have a whole year of school left on my undergrad, and then grad school - which will not be anywhere near Tennessee. It makes me sad because I love her and care about her, and want her to be happy and successful, but I don't see how we stay together if she goes to live there for any length of time.

Especially because my chosen field, music composition, isn't going to have me end up in Tennessee. Either I'll be working in LA on movie/tv/video game scores (my hope and dream), or I'll be teaching college somewhere (after I get my PhD). I just don't know how we're going to keep things together. It's saddening. Oh well. I guess that's life. I'll do my best, I guess.

 

[Daddio]

Sorry to hear Nick, you guys been together for a while?

My ex won't get full custody from the courts because there's no reason for them to do that. I just find it so insulting for me as a person to see my wife tell me she doesn't love me anymore, doesn't want to be with me and would rather go live in a welfare house.

I was never that bad of a husband or father to deserve the way she makes me feel about myself.

 

[De-Ting]

I was never that bad of a husband or father to deserve the way she makes me feel about myself.

Then you take that and use it to make yourself an even better lover and caring father, yeah?

 

[NickKmet]

Sorry to hear Nick, you guys been together for a while?

We're getting pretty close to 2 years now, technically speaking. We were together for another half year before that unofficially.