Make me laugh, peons!(Funny stuff in here Vids, jpgs, jokes)

Discussion in 'Archive' started by thetank, Feb 16, 2008.

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  1. MikeyVassallo

    MikeyVassallo Rookie

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    #981
  2. Tylzen

    Tylzen Rookie

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    Mike that was sooo fucking funny, my stomach hurts.. I can't stop laughing, I actually fell off my chair... HAHAHAA Oh my fucking god..... Hahahaha.... that made my year.
     
    #982
  3. MikeyVassallo

    MikeyVassallo Rookie

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    Yeah, fucking creepy.
     
    #983
  4. madster111

    madster111 Rookie

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  5. Lien

    Lien Rookie

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    Hey! 50th page! hurray!
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    #985
  6. GRColin

    GRColin Rookie

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  7. DocMoc

    DocMoc Rookie

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  8. lokness

    lokness Rookie

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    Oh god how i hate it when people call it 'blinkers'. They're fucking INDICATORS!

    Oh yea and this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3rskbp3zao
     
    #988
  9. madster111

    madster111 Rookie

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  10. lokness

    lokness Rookie

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    LOL, tell me about it!
     
    #990
  11. HK-47

    HK-47 Rookie

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  12. MikeyVassallo

    MikeyVassallo Rookie

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    Um... they are fucking BLINKERS.

    Indicators my ass.
     
    #992
  13. MikeyVassallo

    MikeyVassallo Rookie

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  14. Greek_lover

    Greek_lover Rookie

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  15. Eyebrowsbv31

    Eyebrowsbv31 Rookie

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    From another forum I post at, a fellow on the forums did this:

    Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked
    my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a
    little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a
    100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were
    supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your
    assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

    WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.
    I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing!

    I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND
    pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc
    of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!!
    Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on
    the face of her microwave.

    Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it
    couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?

    There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting
    little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really
    needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must
    admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and
    thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give
    this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some
    assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

    So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses
    perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and
    taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock
    and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause
    muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst
    would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out
    of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the
    batteries.

    All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5' long,
    less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with
    two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'
    What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?

    I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side
    as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from
    such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give
    myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my
    naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . .
    WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

    I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up
    in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over
    and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position,
    with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles
    nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest
    position, and tingling in my legs?

    The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a
    picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid
    getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

    Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note
    of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap
    yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from
    your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second
    burst would be considered conservative?

    IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

    A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that
    point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed
    the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
    The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it
    originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still
    twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my
    bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I
    pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell
    was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came
    from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant
    reward for their safe return!!

    P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

    'If you think education is difficult, try being stupid.'
     
    #995
  16. lokness

    lokness Rookie

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    #996
  17. vinkrukken

    vinkrukken Rookie

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  18. UrbanMasque

    UrbanMasque Everyone Wears a Mask

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    [​IMG]

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    AND THE KICKER!
    [​IMG]
     
    #998
  19. Bazooka56

    Bazooka56 Rookie

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  20. vinkrukken

    vinkrukken Rookie

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    #1000
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