Bretimus_v2
So tired.
Everything was perfect on GRanquility Lane. Everyone was getting along. There were no more console wars. There were no factions. No flame wars. Even the mods were locked in a continual circlejerk. It was as if all the anger and angst of the GRians' collective teenage years had left them. You couldn't ask for a better existence. The sun was out, birds were singing, bees were trying to have sex with them... as is my understanding. Yup, everything was perfect.
But like all too perfect-looking graphics of an Ubisoft game, their perfect thing got super shitty, super quick. With a flash of demon fire and the acrid smell of sulphur, a shimmering portal opened up on the peaceful street. From inside it could be heard a sound far worse than the wailing cries of the Damned. Indeed this portal was no ordinary portal! Nay and fie, I say! This demonic passage was linked to a place far more terrible than the ever-burning pits of Hell, a hundred times more drab and boring than the Hell depicted in What Dreams May Come, more terrible and awful than even Detroit. Indeed, this portal opened up to the year of our Lord, 2008, and the most despicable man that could step forth from it did. Beware and avert your eyes, for the Beast, bretimus, has set foot in our perfect GRanquility Lane.
No sooner had he arrived, he began stirring the shit. He took our cuddly GRians and he fed them after midnight turning them into the foulest of wretches. Friend turned against friend, loyalties were thrown aside, punches were thrown, limbs were bitten. And it is here, that began the most terrible and bloody GRumble of 2015.
This is just embarassing...bretimus is making me speak for him because he's too lazy to log in since it's such a pain.
Hear ye, hear ye! The Rules of the GRumble 2015 are simple. Simple enough that all of you dipshits...do I really have to read this? It's kind of insulting. Ok. Simple enough that all of you dipshits can't mess it up...possibly Ugh or Wicked, but that's getting into a super-powers level of fuck-uppery that even bretimus cannot contain.
SINGLES
There will be no Brackets or Round Robins for bretimus abhors Order. All hail bretimus!
There will be two matches a day until the herd is thinned to the liking of bretimus. All hail bretimus!
All eliminations occur after the second loss. Let it not be said that bretimus is merciful. All hail bretimus!
Match ups will be decided randomly. We all go in the mixer and the top four each day face off, 1 vs 2/3 vs 4. Disorientation is first tool of bretimus...
Ahem.
...all hail bretimus!
The current roster is as stands:
Master_Craig - CHAMPION
Green_Lantern - ELIMINATED
UrbanMasque - ELIMINATED
Longo_2_guns - ELIMINATED
Bretimus_v2 - ELIMINATED
LinksOcarina - ELIMINATED
WickedLiquid - ELIMINATED
C_nate - ELIMINATED
Paradox - ELIMINATED
UghRochester - ELIMINATED
Studio Tan - ELIMINATED
MattAY - ELIMINATED
De-Ting - ELIMINATED
Gunner37 - ELIMINATED
HK-47 - ELIMINATED
Sourdeez - ELIMINATED
Used44 - ELIMINATED
Danielrbischoff - ELIMINATED
DOUBLES
The matches will be ran the same as SINGLES, because bretimus has far better things to do than come up with a whole new set of rules for this tagged-on, two-man part of the GRumble. All hail bretimus!
Doubles will not end simultaneously with SINGLES because when you, as he puts it, "cross swords with the Bret-ster" he has better things to do than make sure you finish at the same time...wow, that's pretty frickin' disgusting...yeah, I'll keep going, all hail bretimus...
The current roster is as stands:
De-Ting & UrbanMasque - The Feel Bros - CHAMPIONS
Longo_2_guns & Paradox - Team Venture - ELIMINATED
Bretimus_v2 & LinksOcarina - Team Brazelda - ELIMINATED
WickedLiquid & Danielrbischoff - DunderMifflin - ELIMINATED
Green_Lantern & Used44 - The Plutonians - ELIMINATED
HK-47 & Studio Tan - Jake and Finn - ELIMINATED
UghRochester & MattAY - TeamRoyaleWithFries - ELIMINATED
And as an even more tagged-on event comes...
UrbanMasque's Tickle-fight Cocktease! brought to you by Twitch
Huh, bretimus actually left after giving me the name of the final contest...he said that we can do whatever we want on this one.
So the rules are simple on this Royal Rumble match, everyday you need to IM me the name of the person you want to eliminate. This way it is secret. Any gang ups are not to be discussed in the thread...possibly other threads or IMs, Skypes and FB messenger app things.
Put the person you want out in the subject and body of the IM. My goal is to not open a single one of these things so that I can add tallies quickly.
Once you are eliminated from the contest you can no longer vote via PM. Feel free to lobby on who should get tossed out.
WickedLiquid
Sourdeez - ELIMINATED
UrbanMasque - ELIMINATED
Paradox - ELIMINATED
Studio Tan - ELIMINATED
Bretimus_v2 - ELIMINATED
Master_Craig - ELIMINATED
Green_Lantern - ELIMINATED
MattAY - ELIMINATED
HK-47 - ELIMINATED
LinksOcarina - ELIMINATED
Danielrbischoff - ELIMINATED
UghRochester - ELIMINATED
De-Ting - ELIMINATED
Used44 - ELIMINATED
Gunner37 - ELIMINATED
C_nate - ELIMINATED
Longo_2_guns - ELIMINATED
And finally, the end of voting should occur at roughly 12 pm CST with new matches being posted then as well. Translation for our foreign friends...20 mins from the time stamp on the matches post.
With that....LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!!
