Merry Christmas?

Discussion in 'Films, TV, Music, Books, Etc.' started by Bretimus_v2, Dec 22, 2012.

  1. Bretimus_v2

    Bretimus_v2 Hey kiddo!

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    So today we went to take the kids to get pictures with Santa. What Holiday season would be complete without a really excited drive to the location...only to be followed by the realization that those kids do not want a picture with Santa. They want nothing to do with the guy. Lucky enough, or so I thought, there was a Mrs. Claus who charmed my children with grandmotherly skill, giving them candy. Then Santa was able to ask what they wanted and we got several decent pics before the baby girl started going full arch (aka: get-me-the-hell-away-from-whoever-is-holding-me position). So we were all thank yous and Merry Christmas Santa...when it happened. My father-in-law thought it would be funny to say, "Bretimus and Mrs. Bretimus, why don't you get a pic?" I laughed, so did my wife. But the Clauses' interest was piqued. They wanted this, more than anything that was in that enourmous bag of magical gifts Santa had on display. Upon seeing the Clauses, my in-laws only cajoled us more. So we moved forward. My wife tried to sit on the arm rest and Santa was having no part of it. His lap was for all good boys and girls and she...she must've looked like a good girl. I on the other hand am a grown-ass man. There is no way I was going to sit on some mall Mrs. Claus' lap. But I was literally pulled onto her knee. It gets worse, while the in-laws laughed and I smiled through sheer will. Mrs. Claus was all over this opportunity. It's not every day 185 lbs of Brazilian beefcake lands in your lap and she was rubbing my back and getting her some side butt squeeze. Needless to say the moment did not last, and my wife and made a hasty retreat avoiding eye contact with everyone.

    Three things on a serious note.

    Why the hell am I putting my precious babies in a stranger's lap?

    And, the second...no, you will never see these photos.

    And last, if you were looking to get me something for the Holidays, counseling sessions would be nice.

    Merry Christmas.
     
    #1
  2. Sourdeez

    Sourdeez Rookie

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    Merry Christmas Yo
     
    #2
  3. MattAY

    MattAY Forum Moderator
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    Haha Merry Christmas Bret and everyone!

    Bret is now a GILF lover.
    To be fair to her, who wouldnt get a grope of that fine Brazilian mutton?
     
    #3
  4. UghRochester

    UghRochester https://www.twitch.tv/ughrochester

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    185 lbs, are you saying that's a lot? How tall was she?
     
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  5. Optimus-Crime

    Optimus-Crime Rookie

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    rule 34: the Santa clause

    lol Ugh, c'mon man!
     
    #5
  6. UghRochester

    UghRochester https://www.twitch.tv/ughrochester

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    I totally forgot he said grandmotherly...and was describing himself with 185 lb part.
     
    #6
  7. UrbanMasque

    UrbanMasque Everyone Wears a Mask

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    Pics of Mrs. Claus pl0x.
     
    #7
  8. De-Ting

    De-Ting Rookie

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    Ha ha ha ha-ha, ha-ha ha ha!
     
    #8
  9. Bretimus_v2

    Bretimus_v2 Hey kiddo!

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    Your sig has taken on disturbing meaning in this thread
     
    #9
  10. Rakon

    Rakon Rookie

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    Pics or didn't happen
     
    #10
  11. danielrbischoff

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    Brett, at least share in CO.

    And Merry Christmas everyone! I'm sick, but I managed to hold out until vacation. What did everyone ask for from Santa?

    Dark Knight Rises Bluray and money for a new computer over here
     
    #11
  12. Rakon

    Rakon Rookie

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    Jewish here
     
    #12
  13. Sourdeez

    Sourdeez Rookie

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    Happy Holidays. All of them
    [​IMG]
     
    #13
  14. Wes

    Wes Rookie

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    Nobody's perfect.

    And yes, PICS. NOW.
     
    #14
  15. Longo_2_guns

    Longo_2_guns Forum Moderator
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    I celebrate Kwanzaa.

    Black Santa got me a 40.
     
    #15
  16. Optimus-Crime

    Optimus-Crime Rookie

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  17. Sightless

    Sightless Rookie

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    No cute kids pics? :(
     
    #17
  18. UghRochester

    UghRochester https://www.twitch.tv/ughrochester

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    #18
  19. Optimus-Crime

    Optimus-Crime Rookie

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    [​IMG]

    No but seriously, thank you for noticing.
     
    #19
  20. StickyGreenGamer

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    Merry Christmas everyone.

    About to open our presents now before Santa comes in the morning. Hoping at some point there is a 2nd controller for me in one of these boxes!
     
    #20

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