Make me laugh, peons!(Funny stuff in here Vids, jpgs, jokes)

Discussion in 'Archive' started by thetank, Feb 16, 2008.

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  1. Sad

    Sad Rookie

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    #41
  2. thetank

    thetank Rookie

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    I can see why. I have to go get some sleep. Sad, there's another 15. Post a total in your sig, dammit1 This should be a battle! It should be a feature in many signatures!

    Actually, I'm still shocked that people have been trying (and succeeding) to make me laugh for two pages.
     
    #42
  3. Sad

    Sad Rookie

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  4. Heartless_

    Heartless_ Rookie

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  5. roukey

    roukey Rookie

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  6. Lentium

    Lentium Rookie

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    joke:

    Q: Whats the opposite of Christopher Reeve?


    A: Christopher Walken.
     
    #46
  7. LinksOcarina

    LinksOcarina Rookie

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    You want to laugh, read the Survivor review on this website, THAT is a tear jerker every time.
     
    #47
  8. jc00l

    jc00l Rookie

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    HAHAHA!

    K so a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in is pants
    the bartender says "hey Pirate you know youve got a steering wheel in your pants"
    the pirate responds "Aye its driving me Nuts".

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzHYgYniGYs

    And Sad im Disapointed you didnt post suburbanites.
     
    #48
  9. thetank

    thetank Rookie

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    Sad, Heartless, Roukey, 10 points each.

    Lentium, 25.

    I've got one.

    Q: What's better than winning five gold medals at the Paralympics?

    A: Walking
     
    #49
  10. Lentium

    Lentium Rookie

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    Joke:

    So this chick is waiting in line at the grocery store, a man comes up to her looks into her basket and says to her "you must be single"
    The chick says "you can tell that just from looking in my basket?"
    and he says: "no, cause your ugly".
     
    #50
  11. thetank

    thetank Rookie

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    5 more points. I love that one.
     
    #51
  12. Eyebrowsbv31

    Eyebrowsbv31 Rookie

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    Good: Your wife is pregnant.
    Bad: It's triplets
    Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago

    Good: Your wife's not talking to you
    Bad: She wants a divorce
    Ugly: She's a lawyer

    Good: Your son is finally maturing
    Bad: He's involved with the woman next door
    Ugly: So are you

    Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
    Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
    Ugly: You're in them

    Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
    Bad: You can't find your birth control pills
    Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them

    Good: Your husband understands fashion
    Bad: He's a cross-dresser
    Ugly: He looks better than you

    Good: You give the 'birds and bees' talk to your daughter
    Bad: She keeps interrupting
    Ugly: With corrections

    Good: The postman's early
    Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun
    Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas

    Good: Your son is dating someone new
    Bad: It's another man
    Ugly: He's your best friend

    Good: Your daughter got a new job
    Bad: As a hooker
    Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients
    Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do

    I have a whole site full of schtuff like this, my little secret.
     
    #52
  13. thetank

    thetank Rookie

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    Eyebrows, 20 points. I love that shit.
     
    #53
  14. Sad

    Sad Rookie

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    Dude, come on, only 10 points for that one? That horse/unicorn bit was hi-freakin-larious!

    jc00l, you're right, I should list everything I like about those guys:
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=9sZ1dqvbnfw
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=JvltzwkUEEA
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=wOTBWlt0-Y0 (I love it when he staples the tie to the desk)
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=Wr_n7zxCXSg
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=c_sn8dYyobM (can't find the version with the bookends...)
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=Mx4ABfAKrRk


    Also, I just love what this guy is saying:
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=QbZOeGyd61E

    And lastly:
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=QVBC1Ht8iJ4
     
    #54
  15. Eyebrowsbv31

    Eyebrowsbv31 Rookie

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    A Vermont native, Ronald Demuth, found himself in a difficult position yesterday. While touring the Eagle's Rock African Safari (Zoo) with a group of thespians from St. Petersburg, Russia, Mr. Demuth went overboard to show them one of America's many marvels. He demonstrated the effectiveness of "Crazy Glue"... the hard way. Apparently, Mr. Demuth wanted to demonstrate just how good the adhesive was, so he put about 3 ounces of the adhesive in the palms of his hands, and jokingly placed them on the buttocks of a passing rhino. The rhino, a resident of the zoo for the past thirteen years, was not initially startled as it has been part of the petting exhibit since its arrival as a baby. However, once it became aware of ts being involuntarily stuck to Mr. Demuth, it began to panic and ran around the petting area wildly making Mr. Demuth an unintended passenger.

    "Sally [the rhino] hasn't been feeling well lately. She had been very constipated. We had just given her a laxative and some depressants to relax her bowels, when Mr. Demuth played his juvenile prank," said James Douglass, caretaker. During Sally's tirade two fences were destroyed, a shed wall was gored, and a number of small animals escaped. Also, during the stampede, three pygmy goats and one duck were stomped to death. As for Demuth, it took a team of medics and zoo caretakers' to remove his hands from her buttocks.

    First, the animal had to be captured and calmed down. However, during this process the laxatives began to take hold and Mr. Demuth was repeatedly showered with over 30 gallons of rhino diarrhea. "It was tricky. We had to calm her down, while at the same time shield our faces from being pelted with rhino dung. I guess you could say that Mr. Demuth was into it up to his neck. Once she was under control, we had three people with shovels working to keep an air passage open for Mr. Demuth. We were able to tranquilize her and apply a solvent to remove his hands from her rear," said Douglass. "I don't think he'll be playing with Crazy Glue for a while.* Meanwhile, the Russians, while obviously amused, also were impressed with the power of the adhesive. "I'm going to buy some for my children, but of course they can't take it to the zoo," commented Vladimir Zolnikov, leader of the troupe.

    Darwin award.
     
    #55
  16. Lentium

    Lentium Rookie

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  17. thetank

    thetank Rookie

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    Sad, I'm going to have to give 150 points for all of those. Sexy Milk Jump... Hahaha...

    20 points to Eyebrows.

    Lentium, what the fuck is HeadOn?
     
    #57
  18. trust_no_one

    trust_no_one Rookie

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    I refer you to the 10 million girls topic. You clearly called me a funny man there.
     
    #58
  19. thetank

    thetank Rookie

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    30 points. Plus 5 for making me use a Lock Stock reference.
     
    #59
  20. trust_no_one

    trust_no_one Rookie

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    I refer you to my sig.
     
    #60
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