Make me laugh, peons!(Funny stuff in here Vids, jpgs, jokes)

Discussion in 'Archive' started by thetank, Feb 16, 2008.

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  1. thetank

    thetank Rookie

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    And there go the Coke and fries. It's even funnier to me, because I want to get a PhD, and then become a glass-blower, um, Olympian, no wait, comedian. 15 more points, to bring your total to 50.
     
    #21
  2. madster111

    madster111 Rookie

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    Hey, asshole, wheres my points?!?!?!
    :D
     
    #22
  3. thetank

    thetank Rookie

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    I don't want this thread polluted with personal attacks. However, "Hey asshole, where's my points?!?!?!" Made me chuckle, and even though I said a chuckle doesn't count, it gets you 5 points.

    I wouldn't mind a joke either. Doesn't have to be a funny video.

    Two Jews were sent to assassinate Hitler. They were told he would pass by an alleyway outside a church, at precisely 12.30pm. So they waited with their guns. 12.30pm, no Hitler. 1.00pm, no Hitler.

    Finally, 1.30pm comes around, and one of the Jews turns to the other, and says: "I hope nothing has happened to him!"

    See, it wasn't that hard!
     
    #23
  4. Eyebrowsbv31

    Eyebrowsbv31 Rookie

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    Two turkish guys move to America. They make a bet to see who can become more American in only 10 years. They meet back up ten years later:
    the first turkish guy says " You know, I got a white wife, 5 kids, I watch football and baseball games, I drink budwiser and I eat fast food daily."

    The second turkish guy says " Fuck you Towelhead."


    #2

    A young reporter goes to countryside to see how people in rural towns live. He finds an old man on his porch rocking back and forth in a chair. He approaches the man and begins an interview: "So, has anything good happened around here lately?" The old man says "Well, the other day my buddy's daughter got lost, so we gather up a posse, went out, found her, and we all had our way with her." The disturbed reporter says "I can't write about that, anything else good happened?" The old man thinks and says "Well the other day my buddy's sheep got lost, so we gathered a posse, found it, and had our way with it too!" the younger reporter, even more disturbed, asks one final question "Has anything Bad happened around here then?!"

    The old man looks away and says "Well, one day I got lost."

    and one more cause I'm bored:


    What do you get when you combine 5 American Cowboys, 5 New Zealanders, and 5 Scotsmen?

    A dead sheep.
     
    #24
  5. thetank

    thetank Rookie

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    10 points for each of those, but you sacrificed five when you tried to make a joke of my home country. National pride is a bitch.
     
    #25
  6. Eyebrowsbv31

    Eyebrowsbv31 Rookie

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    /typical american

    Pride in what? Kiwi? Sheep Shagging? LOTR and Xena Warrior princess being filmed there?


    Might as well be a province of Aussie land, least they have Kangaroos.

    /end typical american.
     
    #26
  7. thetank

    thetank Rookie

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    You're lucky I'm not one to hold a grudge. That, he announced, will be the only situation in which points will be deducted, when a personal attack is made against another forum goer. And those of you with un-flashy sigs, add a scorekeeper to them. It'll be like the worst inside joke on GR since the time I joined up.
     
    #27
  8. Hoomfie

    Hoomfie Rookie

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    you forgot
    [typical american]

    Might as well be a province of Aussie land, least they have Kangaroos which they use to travel to school.

    They also talk like Paul Hogan from Crocodile Dundee, or Steve Irwin.
    [/typical american]

    At least from my stereotypical, joking view of a typical American.
     
    #28
  9. Tyrranis

    Tyrranis Veteran

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    #29
  10. madster111

    madster111 Rookie

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    Woo! Kangaroo's FTW!
    And BTW, we don't ride then, we make them walk next to us while they carry our stuff.

    2 russians walk into a bar, and order some Vodka.
    A robber walks in, and shoots one of the Russians.
    The other russian drinks his Vodka, and leaves the other russians vodka alone.
    The end.
     
    #30
  11. thetank

    thetank Rookie

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    15 points for Ty.

    5 points for me, because reading Madster's post backwards, I get Western Territory Fucks Kangaroos! Woo!

    It's a funny thing though, the Kiwi accent. Everyone outside America knows it to be different from the Aussie accent, but your average American can't tell the difference.
     
    #31
  12. Eyebrowsbv31

    Eyebrowsbv31 Rookie

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    I can tell.


    I watch Flight of the Concords.
     
    #32
  13. thetank

    thetank Rookie

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    They call me the Hiphopotamus, my lyrics are bottomless...






    ...

    Eyebrows, you just became a non-average American, by virtue of watching some American-funded television starring New Zealanders.
     
    #33
  14. madster111

    madster111 Rookie

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    A kitten dies, and a homeless person eats it.
    .....
    that's the joke.
     
    #34
  15. thetank

    thetank Rookie

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    You're embarrassing yourself Madster.
     
    #35
  16. madster111

    madster111 Rookie

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    Yes, thank you.

    What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?.....


    ......a stick

    Then of course you have...

    There once was a little boy who was celebrating his 11th birthday.

    He decided to test his family to see if they remembered his birthday, so he goes downstairs to his father. "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today", the boy said.

    The father has no clue and finally gives up. "I'm eleven!" the boy exclaims.

    Next he goes in the kitchen, walks up to his grandma, and says, "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today".

    "Let me give it a guess", grandma says and sticks her hand in his trousers.

    She plays with his testicles for about an hour or so (squeezing them; moving them back and forth), takes her hand out of his trousers, and says, "You're eleven years old".

    "How did you know?" the boy asked.

    Grandma replied, "I heard you tell your father".
     
    #36
  17. Sad

    Sad Rookie

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    #37
  18. thetank

    thetank Rookie

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    Sad, 20 points. Madster, COME ON! You can do better than that.
     
    #38
  19. Sad

    Sad Rookie

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  20. thetank

    thetank Rookie

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    Yeah, as awesome as that was, I have to ration out the points. Not that i have a set limit or anything. You do get another 15 for that one.
     
    #40
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