Make me laugh, peons!(Funny stuff in here Vids, jpgs, jokes)
- Thread starter thetank
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madster111
Rookie
Hey, asshole, wheres my points?!?!?!
thetank
Rookie
I don't want this thread polluted with personal attacks. However, "Hey asshole, where's my points?!?!?!" Made me chuckle, and even though I said a chuckle doesn't count, it gets you 5 points.
I wouldn't mind a joke either. Doesn't have to be a funny video.
Two Jews were sent to assassinate Hitler. They were told he would pass by an alleyway outside a church, at precisely 12.30pm. So they waited with their guns. 12.30pm, no Hitler. 1.00pm, no Hitler.
Finally, 1.30pm comes around, and one of the Jews turns to the other, and says: "I hope nothing has happened to him!"
See, it wasn't that hard!
I wouldn't mind a joke either. Doesn't have to be a funny video.
Two Jews were sent to assassinate Hitler. They were told he would pass by an alleyway outside a church, at precisely 12.30pm. So they waited with their guns. 12.30pm, no Hitler. 1.00pm, no Hitler.
Finally, 1.30pm comes around, and one of the Jews turns to the other, and says: "I hope nothing has happened to him!"
See, it wasn't that hard!
Eyebrowsbv31
Rookie
Two turkish guys move to America. They make a bet to see who can become more American in only 10 years. They meet back up ten years later:
the first turkish guy says " You know, I got a white wife, 5 kids, I watch football and baseball games, I drink budwiser and I eat fast food daily."
The second turkish guy says " Fuck you Towelhead."
#2
A young reporter goes to countryside to see how people in rural towns live. He finds an old man on his porch rocking back and forth in a chair. He approaches the man and begins an interview: "So, has anything good happened around here lately?" The old man says "Well, the other day my buddy's daughter got lost, so we gather up a posse, went out, found her, and we all had our way with her." The disturbed reporter says "I can't write about that, anything else good happened?" The old man thinks and says "Well the other day my buddy's sheep got lost, so we gathered a posse, found it, and had our way with it too!" the younger reporter, even more disturbed, asks one final question "Has anything Bad happened around here then?!"
The old man looks away and says "Well, one day I got lost."
and one more cause I'm bored:
What do you get when you combine 5 American Cowboys, 5 New Zealanders, and 5 Scotsmen?
A dead sheep.
the first turkish guy says " You know, I got a white wife, 5 kids, I watch football and baseball games, I drink budwiser and I eat fast food daily."
The second turkish guy says " Fuck you Towelhead."
#2
A young reporter goes to countryside to see how people in rural towns live. He finds an old man on his porch rocking back and forth in a chair. He approaches the man and begins an interview: "So, has anything good happened around here lately?" The old man says "Well, the other day my buddy's daughter got lost, so we gather up a posse, went out, found her, and we all had our way with her." The disturbed reporter says "I can't write about that, anything else good happened?" The old man thinks and says "Well the other day my buddy's sheep got lost, so we gathered a posse, found it, and had our way with it too!" the younger reporter, even more disturbed, asks one final question "Has anything Bad happened around here then?!"
The old man looks away and says "Well, one day I got lost."
and one more cause I'm bored:
What do you get when you combine 5 American Cowboys, 5 New Zealanders, and 5 Scotsmen?
A dead sheep.
Eyebrowsbv31
Rookie
thetank said:
/typical american
Pride in what? Kiwi? Sheep Shagging? LOTR and Xena Warrior princess being filmed there?
Might as well be a province of Aussie land, least they have Kangaroos.
/end typical american.
thetank
Rookie
You're lucky I'm not one to hold a grudge. That, he announced, will be the only situation in which points will be deducted, when a personal attack is made against another forum goer. And those of you with un-flashy sigs, add a scorekeeper to them. It'll be like the worst inside joke on GR since the time I joined up.
Hoomfie
Rookie
you forgot
[typical american]
Might as well be a province of Aussie land, least they have Kangaroos which they use to travel to school.
They also talk like Paul Hogan from Crocodile Dundee, or Steve Irwin.
[/typical american]
At least from my stereotypical, joking view of a typical American.
[typical american]
Might as well be a province of Aussie land, least they have Kangaroos which they use to travel to school.
They also talk like Paul Hogan from Crocodile Dundee, or Steve Irwin.
[/typical american]
At least from my stereotypical, joking view of a typical American.
Tyrranis
Veteran
Time for the secret weapon: The Incontinence Pants
madster111
Rookie
Woo! Kangaroo's FTW!
And BTW, we don't ride then, we make them walk next to us while they carry our stuff.
2 russians walk into a bar, and order some Vodka.
A robber walks in, and shoots one of the Russians.
The other russian drinks his Vodka, and leaves the other russians vodka alone.
The end.
And BTW, we don't ride then, we make them walk next to us while they carry our stuff.
2 russians walk into a bar, and order some Vodka.
A robber walks in, and shoots one of the Russians.
The other russian drinks his Vodka, and leaves the other russians vodka alone.
The end.
thetank
Rookie
15 points for Ty.
5 points for me, because reading Madster's post backwards, I get Western Territory Fucks Kangaroos! Woo!
It's a funny thing though, the Kiwi accent. Everyone outside America knows it to be different from the Aussie accent, but your average American can't tell the difference.
5 points for me, because reading Madster's post backwards, I get Western Territory Fucks Kangaroos! Woo!
It's a funny thing though, the Kiwi accent. Everyone outside America knows it to be different from the Aussie accent, but your average American can't tell the difference.
Eyebrowsbv31
Rookie
thetank said:
I can tell.
I watch Flight of the Concords.
madster111
Rookie
A kitten dies, and a homeless person eats it.
.....
that's the joke.
.....
that's the joke.
madster111
Rookie
Yes, thank you.thetank said:
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?.....
......a stick
Then of course you have...
There once was a little boy who was celebrating his 11th birthday.
He decided to test his family to see if they remembered his birthday, so he goes downstairs to his father. "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today", the boy said.
The father has no clue and finally gives up. "I'm eleven!" the boy exclaims.
Next he goes in the kitchen, walks up to his grandma, and says, "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today".
"Let me give it a guess", grandma says and sticks her hand in his trousers.
She plays with his testicles for about an hour or so (squeezing them; moving them back and forth), takes her hand out of his trousers, and says, "You're eleven years old".
"How did you know?" the boy asked.
Grandma replied, "I heard you tell your father".
Sad
Rookie
I'm pretty sure I got this video from GR, but since no one has posted it: http://youtube.com/watch?v=NmpAx8Z5z40
Sad
Rookie
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