MikeyVassallo
Regular
Yes, and he hates every single one of you. He told me.
Do you believe that there's a God?
- Thread starter Libertine
- Start date
mynameismonkey
Rookie
Soon, my child, you will be ready for enlightenment.
Join the Church of the Highly Improbable. It's just not cricket.
Join the Church of the Highly Improbable. It's just not cricket.
The_Cookster
Regular
I do hope all these agnostics didn't contradict themselves and vote no or yes.
Well as a Christian let me make a few points clear, and the difference with Christianity:
* Christianity is based on Christ and is not a church nor religion, it may not be classed by man himself, and is different than Roman Catholicism.
* Christianity has never caused hate or war, think of it like this: A Christian can tell someone of Christianity and God but if that person doesn't wish to hear then they can't be forced, also Christians set examples for people.
Alot of people misinterpret a Christian as someone who goes to 'church..' And those people are merely uninformed.
And of coarse, I believe in God. :wink:
* Christianity is based on Christ and is not a church nor religion, it may not be classed by man himself, and is different than Roman Catholicism.
* Christianity has never caused hate or war, think of it like this: A Christian can tell someone of Christianity and God but if that person doesn't wish to hear then they can't be forced, also Christians set examples for people.
Alot of people misinterpret a Christian as someone who goes to 'church..' And those people are merely uninformed.
And of coarse, I believe in God. :wink:
downwitdaclown69
Rookie
The_Cookster said:
So true. You knwo they did tho, ignorance is bliss.
steve_the_great
Rookie
HELL YES YO CRAKERS....
joking im white too
nothing to be ashamed of
joking im white too
nothing to be ashamed of
Dark_Legacy
Rookie
False! It is a false statement you have made at this instant, though it could be true soon.
MikeyVassallo
Regular
CHURCH OF THE HIGHLY IMPROBABLE
CEREMONIAL TEXT
- CHILD NAMING
- MALE
ALL CONTENT COPYLEFT 2003 CHURCH OF THE HIGHLY IMPROBABLE
[To all present]:
Friends, a new child has entered into the world. I want to welcome you to the naming ceremony of the son of FATHER and MOTHER.
We gather here today to witness their commitment to each other and their new child, and to publicly welcome a new member into our community, into the human race.
We are here because of our relationship with FATHER and MOTHER, for we are their community, their circle. We are the community with whom they celebrate life, and to whom they will turn in times of need. We are their extended family and friends and we honour their public commitment to this new child.
To be a parent forces you to recognize that you are no longer a child, and to claim adulthood.
As parents, we feel the temptation to help our children succeed where we have failed. Or we may feel the temptation to succeed where our parents failed. But as much as we seek to make our children like us, we cannot. An infinite universe of possibility stretches before each of us, and the path we follow cannot be seen. What we can do is see that they our children do their best, grow and learn. And as they grow, they will in turn be pushing us to grow with them. This we can do, if we love them not for who they may become, but for who they are, unique and special and infinitely anything.
Recognizing this, FATHER and MOTHER stand before us now to reaffirm their commitment to each other and to their new child.
[To the father]: FATHER, by what right do you name this child?
[Father]: I am his father, this is my son.
[To the father]: Do you, FATHER, commit yourself to MOTHER as her partner, promising to support her in her role of mother?
[Father:] I do.
[To the father]: Do you give yourself to your son as his father, promising to act out of your love for him, respecting and supporting his uniqueness, his possibilities, and eliciting the best from him? To feed and clothe and house him until he chooses to separate from your support?
[Father:] I do.
[To the mother]: MOTHER, by what right do you name this child?
[Father]: I am his mother, this is my son.
[To the mother]: Do you, MOTHER, commit yourself to FATHER as his partner, promising to support him as a father?
[Mother:] I do.
[To the mother]: Do you give yourself to your son as his mother, promising to act out of your love for him, respecting and supporting his uniqueness, his possibilities, and eliciting the best from him? To feed and clothe and house him until he chooses to separate from your support?
[Mother:] I do.
[To all present:] The parents will now read from Rudyard Kipling's "If".
[At the parent's request, the minister may perform the reading.]
[Mother or Father:]
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
[Father or Mother:]
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings-nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And-which is more-you'll be a Man, my son!
[To all present:] The act of naming symbolizes both intimacy and control. MOTHER and FATHER will now name their new son, signifying their desire to love, teach, guide and nurture him.
[To the parents:] How shall this new child be called?
[Father or Mother answers. or father gives father's name, mother gives mother's name, if appropriate]
[IF NAME HAS SPECIAL MEANING]
[Parents may wish to explain the meaning, significance or descendance of the child’s name. It is not necessary, and is often unneeded, however, if a child is being named after a relative, especially one who is present, it should be brought to the guests' attention.]
[To all present:] On behalf of all who shall know him, I welcome CHILD to our community. May he grow in health and wisdom, bringing joy and fulfillment to all who know him. We rejoice for him, his parents, his grandparents and for all whose lives will be enriched by his existence.
[Produce charm pouch:] We now bring tokens of life to CHILD. As generations have done before us, and as generations shall do long after we are gone, we bestow tokens upon the new child in the hopes that these tokens will bring focus to a life filled with infinite possibilities. These gifts will be held in sacred trust by MOTHER until such time as she deems fit to pass them to CHILD. As minister, I bestow three gifts upon CHILD, sybolizing the eternal nature of life.
A die, to symbolize possibility, probability, and chance. Be one with your uniqueness.
A coin, to symbolize fortune, of all kinds. May fortune find you.
A precious stone, to symbolize the elements of Nature; Earth, Air, Fire, Water. Be at one with the Earth, She is your Home.
[IF PARENTS HAVE GIFTS]
[To the parents:] What gifts do you bring? [Answers, and places in charm pouch. Rinse and repeat as necessary.]
[IF GUESTS HAVE GIFTS]
[To all present:] Bring forward your gifts. [Guests approach, and exclaim their gift and virtue they bestow. Rinse and repeat as necessary.]
[To mother:] MOTHER, I present you with these gifts on behalf of CHILD. Do you vow to pass on these gifts when CHILD becomes of an age able to appreciate and treasure them?
[Mother:] I do.
[IF GODPARENTS]
[To all present:] Would FEMALE GODPARENT and MALE GODPARENT please step forward?
[To the godparents:] MOTHER and FATHER love you dearly and value your morals and believe that you each have much you can teach CHILD. They would ask that you serve as the teachers and guardians of CHILD in the event that they are no longer able to. Will you accept this serious responsibility and honour?
[GODPARENTS] We do.
[A kiss or hug from each of the four to each other is now in order.]
[FINAL BLESSING - CHOICES]
Awn ni o ma i le uchel,
Draw i ffridd yr adar ffraeth;
Rhown ein dwylo ar hen delyn,
Efo clustiau llym rhwng y trum a’r traeth;
Wnawn ni ddisgwyl,
Disgwyl am y swn.
We will go from here to a high place,
Over to the field of the gay birds;
We will place our hands on an old harp,
With sharp ears between the ridge and the beach;
We will await,
Await the sound
Holl amrantau'r sêr ddywedant
Ar hyd y nos
'Dyma'r ffordd i fro gogoniant
Ar hyd y nos.
Golau arall yw tywyllwch
I arddangos gwir brydferthwch
Teulu'r nefoedd mewn tawelwch
Ar hyd y nos.
Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee
All through the night
Guardian angels God will send thee
All through the night
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping
Hill and dale in slumber steeping
I my loving vigil keeping
All through the night.
Nid wy'n gofyn bywyd moethus
Aur y byd na'i berlau mân
Gofyn rwyf am calon hapus
Calon onest, calon lân.
I ask not for ease and riches
Nor earth's jewels for my part
But I have the best of wishes
For a pure and honest heart.
On behalf of all who shall know him, in the name of all that is possible, I welcome CHILD to our community.
CEREMONIAL TEXT
- CHILD NAMING
- MALE
ALL CONTENT COPYLEFT 2003 CHURCH OF THE HIGHLY IMPROBABLE
[To all present]:
Friends, a new child has entered into the world. I want to welcome you to the naming ceremony of the son of FATHER and MOTHER.
We gather here today to witness their commitment to each other and their new child, and to publicly welcome a new member into our community, into the human race.
We are here because of our relationship with FATHER and MOTHER, for we are their community, their circle. We are the community with whom they celebrate life, and to whom they will turn in times of need. We are their extended family and friends and we honour their public commitment to this new child.
To be a parent forces you to recognize that you are no longer a child, and to claim adulthood.
As parents, we feel the temptation to help our children succeed where we have failed. Or we may feel the temptation to succeed where our parents failed. But as much as we seek to make our children like us, we cannot. An infinite universe of possibility stretches before each of us, and the path we follow cannot be seen. What we can do is see that they our children do their best, grow and learn. And as they grow, they will in turn be pushing us to grow with them. This we can do, if we love them not for who they may become, but for who they are, unique and special and infinitely anything.
Recognizing this, FATHER and MOTHER stand before us now to reaffirm their commitment to each other and to their new child.
[To the father]: FATHER, by what right do you name this child?
[Father]: I am his father, this is my son.
[To the father]: Do you, FATHER, commit yourself to MOTHER as her partner, promising to support her in her role of mother?
[Father:] I do.
[To the father]: Do you give yourself to your son as his father, promising to act out of your love for him, respecting and supporting his uniqueness, his possibilities, and eliciting the best from him? To feed and clothe and house him until he chooses to separate from your support?
[Father:] I do.
[To the mother]: MOTHER, by what right do you name this child?
[Father]: I am his mother, this is my son.
[To the mother]: Do you, MOTHER, commit yourself to FATHER as his partner, promising to support him as a father?
[Mother:] I do.
[To the mother]: Do you give yourself to your son as his mother, promising to act out of your love for him, respecting and supporting his uniqueness, his possibilities, and eliciting the best from him? To feed and clothe and house him until he chooses to separate from your support?
[Mother:] I do.
[To all present:] The parents will now read from Rudyard Kipling's "If".
[At the parent's request, the minister may perform the reading.]
[Mother or Father:]
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
[Father or Mother:]
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings-nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And-which is more-you'll be a Man, my son!
[To all present:] The act of naming symbolizes both intimacy and control. MOTHER and FATHER will now name their new son, signifying their desire to love, teach, guide and nurture him.
[To the parents:] How shall this new child be called?
[Father or Mother answers. or father gives father's name, mother gives mother's name, if appropriate]
[IF NAME HAS SPECIAL MEANING]
[Parents may wish to explain the meaning, significance or descendance of the child’s name. It is not necessary, and is often unneeded, however, if a child is being named after a relative, especially one who is present, it should be brought to the guests' attention.]
[To all present:] On behalf of all who shall know him, I welcome CHILD to our community. May he grow in health and wisdom, bringing joy and fulfillment to all who know him. We rejoice for him, his parents, his grandparents and for all whose lives will be enriched by his existence.
[Produce charm pouch:] We now bring tokens of life to CHILD. As generations have done before us, and as generations shall do long after we are gone, we bestow tokens upon the new child in the hopes that these tokens will bring focus to a life filled with infinite possibilities. These gifts will be held in sacred trust by MOTHER until such time as she deems fit to pass them to CHILD. As minister, I bestow three gifts upon CHILD, sybolizing the eternal nature of life.
A die, to symbolize possibility, probability, and chance. Be one with your uniqueness.
A coin, to symbolize fortune, of all kinds. May fortune find you.
A precious stone, to symbolize the elements of Nature; Earth, Air, Fire, Water. Be at one with the Earth, She is your Home.
[IF PARENTS HAVE GIFTS]
[To the parents:] What gifts do you bring? [Answers, and places in charm pouch. Rinse and repeat as necessary.]
[IF GUESTS HAVE GIFTS]
[To all present:] Bring forward your gifts. [Guests approach, and exclaim their gift and virtue they bestow. Rinse and repeat as necessary.]
[To mother:] MOTHER, I present you with these gifts on behalf of CHILD. Do you vow to pass on these gifts when CHILD becomes of an age able to appreciate and treasure them?
[Mother:] I do.
[IF GODPARENTS]
[To all present:] Would FEMALE GODPARENT and MALE GODPARENT please step forward?
[To the godparents:] MOTHER and FATHER love you dearly and value your morals and believe that you each have much you can teach CHILD. They would ask that you serve as the teachers and guardians of CHILD in the event that they are no longer able to. Will you accept this serious responsibility and honour?
[GODPARENTS] We do.
[A kiss or hug from each of the four to each other is now in order.]
[FINAL BLESSING - CHOICES]
Awn ni o ma i le uchel,
Draw i ffridd yr adar ffraeth;
Rhown ein dwylo ar hen delyn,
Efo clustiau llym rhwng y trum a’r traeth;
Wnawn ni ddisgwyl,
Disgwyl am y swn.
We will go from here to a high place,
Over to the field of the gay birds;
We will place our hands on an old harp,
With sharp ears between the ridge and the beach;
We will await,
Await the sound
Holl amrantau'r sêr ddywedant
Ar hyd y nos
'Dyma'r ffordd i fro gogoniant
Ar hyd y nos.
Golau arall yw tywyllwch
I arddangos gwir brydferthwch
Teulu'r nefoedd mewn tawelwch
Ar hyd y nos.
Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee
All through the night
Guardian angels God will send thee
All through the night
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping
Hill and dale in slumber steeping
I my loving vigil keeping
All through the night.
Nid wy'n gofyn bywyd moethus
Aur y byd na'i berlau mân
Gofyn rwyf am calon hapus
Calon onest, calon lân.
I ask not for ease and riches
Nor earth's jewels for my part
But I have the best of wishes
For a pure and honest heart.
On behalf of all who shall know him, in the name of all that is possible, I welcome CHILD to our community.
