Ninja assassin

[Lien]

Me and my bro were bored and decided to watch a movie at 10 pm. We decided to pick a film with the most hilarious name ever. So ninja assassin...

This film kick- major-A**.

Screw the reviews, they were written by pirates! Lock-up your kids, put your wife to sleep and watch this film of the year! Just the first five minutes is filled with so much blood and the death are so motherf***ing gruesome. And i mean fist inside stomach gruesome! Screw 300!
The plot is that there's no plot. Yeah whatever, dude got betrayed cause his girl got killed or whatever,a bunch of haiku, i wasn't paying attention, BLOOD! The ninjas are ninjas (Deadly, invisible and sneaky) and the targets heads explode, what more do you want! It's a 10 years old wetdream!

Hum hum... so anyone else saw it?

 

[Chris_Crime]

I heard something about "from the people who brought you the Matrix", but that could mean just about anything.
What I want to know is did the Wachowskis have anything to do with this film?

I'm gonna check this one out soon.

 

[madster111]

Will go see this when it comes out in the Australia.

 

[EliaSoZ]

What are you, 12?

I'm pretty sure the Wachowskis had nothing to do with this. I wasn't expecting any plot, but to be honest the fighting scenes (what you'd think would be the good part) were rather lacking.

Overall: C

 

[intoTheRain]

What are you, 12?

guy likes movie i didn't, must insult.

 

[MikeyVassallo]

Madster is 12 though. Good call.

I think it is by the producers of the Matrix.

 

[Trippysmurf]

Unless all the "Ninjas" are 5 feet tall, my suspension of disbelief is thrown right out the window.

 

[MattAY]

This does sound like a film I would enjoy. Not the gore part. But the pointless, no-plot, hack and slash part.

What would make this film perfect is if it was very very badly acted/voiced...is it?

 

[Green_Lantern]

I sense false advertising...

 

[GRColin]

I heard something about "from the people who brought you the Matrix", but that could mean just about anything.
What I want to know is did the Wachowskis have anything to do with this film?

I'm gonna check this one out soon.

They produced it and that's about it.

It was directed by the guy who did V for Vendetta though. How he went from that to something so cheesy I don't know. I don't mean the good cheesy like the films over the top action sequences I mean cheesy as in the lame whispering done by 50 ninjas in a room sounding like something out of a lame horror movie and the main character healing a giant gash in his stomach in a mater of hours Wolverine style. Or how about the Ninja hear the slightest footsteps on a wooden floor but they get caught off guard by a crapload of military personnel rolling up a mountain to their secret base.

Other than those few things it was really enjoyable.

 

[Lien]

I sense false advertising...

*chops GL in pieces*

 

[LinksOcarina]

Sounds like what you would expect.

 

[WickedLiquid]

Or how about the Ninja hear the slightest footsteps on a wooden floor but they get caught off guard by a crapload of military personnel rolling up a mountain to their secret base.

When I saw that part I sang "AMERICA! FUCK YEAH! COMIN TODAY TO SAVE THE MOTHERFUCKIN DAY YEAH!" I got a lot of laughs. Probably because the audience shared my opinion on the movie sucking so much.

I was expecting some cool fight scenes, there were none. And since The Wachowskis brothers produced it I was thinking the effects would look top notch. Instead I got 90 minutes of CGI blood that looked incredibly fake.

So if you want to see people get sliced and diced every 5 seconds with cheesy blood effects in a movie that takes itself seriously, be my guest. If you're looking for a movie with a plot and awesome choreography fight scenes, skip it.

 

[Lien]

Or how about the Ninja hear the slightest footsteps on a wooden floor but they get caught off guard by a crapload of military personnel rolling up a mountain to their secret base.

When I saw that part I sang "AMERICA! f*** YEAH! COMIN TODAY TO SAVE THE MOTHERFUCKIN DAY YEAH!" I got a lot of laughs. Probably because the audience shared my opinion on the movie sucking so much.

I was expecting some cool fight scenes, there were none. And since The Wachowskis brothers produced it I was thinking the effects would look top notch. Instead I got 90 minutes of CGI blood that looked incredibly fake.

So if you want to see people get sliced and diced every 5 seconds with cheesy blood effects in a movie that takes itself seriously, be my guest. If you're looking for a movie with a plot and awesome choreography fight scenes, skip it.

Now you see, if i was really a 12 years old, i would bash you. But instead, being an overage nerd, i'll point out a mistake you've just made: It wasn't the American army, it was the Japanese army. AHA! (i'm lonely...)

That and something told me the guys who made this film weren't looking for an Oscar, they just wanted blood. Fake or not.

 

[GRColin]

Edit: It was Wicked who failed, not me. Never mind.

 

[WickedLiquid]

It's easy to assume they're Americans when they're white and blowing the crap out of stuff.

A movie doesn't have to be Oscar worthy to be good... I just went in expecting some cool fight scenes and instead I got over the top fake blood that looked so fake it would be on par with a B horror movie. The director could've just used blood packs and other tricks to pull it off. But instead he decided to be lazy and rely on computers. Ah well, to each his own.

To be fair, *spoilers* ...I did like how they didn't go cheesy on the story with his love intrest. They could've just turned it into a fairytale Hollywood ending where his girlfriend doesn't get captured and killed but instead lives happily ever after with him. So at least it wasn't cliche.

 

[madster111]

Perhaps he was expecting GOOD CGI?
Our current technology is so excellent, that i guarantee if they had of spent..oh, i dunno, and extra $1k on decent software, you would not have been able to tell the difference between real blood and fake blood.

 

[Eyebrowsbv31]

It's easy to assume they're Americans when they're white and blowing the crap out of stuff.

A movie doesn't have to be Oscar worthy to be good... I just went in expecting some cool fight scenes and instead I got over the top fake blood that looked so fake it would be on par with a B horror movie. The director could've just used blood packs and other tricks to pull it off. But instead he decided to be lazy and rely on computers. Ah well, to each his own.

To be fair, *spoilers* ...I did like how they didn't go cheesy on the story with his love intrest. They could've just turned it into a fairytale Hollywood ending where his girlfriend doesn't get captured and killed but instead lives happily ever after with him. So at least it wasn't cliche.

To correct all three of you nerds, it was white folk, but europeans. Interpol gets them cool guns with no recoil that can stop a ninja only when lights are on.

 

[GRColin]

All three?

Only two were talking about Americans/Non Americans fool.

 

[Insectavamour]

haven't seen it but i want to. imagine it would be like those 80's action flicks, ya know, not supposed to be funny but is, from what all i've read on here. anyways. i'm sure it's an awesome movie lien and all those others uptight el douches. movies are entertainment, not godamn education. i keep my documentaries and my cartoons seperate..