Let's Generalize Fanboys!

[Squiggy]

In this thread, we generalize the inner workings of the minds of fanboys of various companies or series.

I'll start

The Legend of Zelda
Every game is brilliant and you cannot say otherwise else I send the cuccos on you. Also, the games fit together as I see them on my timeline theory because I'm right.

Halo:
Every shooter ever steals from Halo, even those that were around before it.

Final Fantasy:
The first game is Final Fantasy VII. There are no previous six games.

Metroid:
Samus walked in a straight line? OH MY GOD LINEAR ITS NOT METROID ANYMORE!

Sonic the Hedgehog:
Have you seen the next game? It looks amazing! The series is really coming back this time! Honest! The last game was just, er, practice! The real comeback is this one!

Add your own! Are you a fanboy (... fangirl?)? Don't be offended, generalize yourself!

... I'm really bored right now, can't you tell?.

 

[Longo_2_guns]

90's PC gamer:
If the game doesn't punish you while you play it, it isn't a real game. Also, PC gaming is still being supported by most developers, and everyone who plays on consoles sucks at video games.

 

[KoalaRainbowPoop]

sony is the best. they can do no wrong and have the best exclusive's.

i feel dirty now and i like it.

 

[De-Ting]

This thread sucks.

 

[Master_Craig]

I don't think I'm a "fan boy" but I've heard of some great cases in fan boy-ism. These quotes aren't word for word but they're based on what I've seen.

Ninja Gaiden and Ninja Gaiden II (X-Box and X-Box 360) - "The game has to be hard! The camera doesn't suck, it's made that way to make the game harder. You're too soft if you don't like it." (-some idiot writing to Australian gaming magazine, HYPER).

Resident Evil (franchise) - "Resident Evil is about zombies, enclosed spaces, static camera angles and awkward controls. If you think it's a third person shooter against people who aren't zombies, then you are not a true fan." (-some guy on the Penny Arcade forums complaining about the changes Capcom made when developing Resident Evil 4).

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (Nintendo Wii) - "You didn't give the game an A+?!" (-people complaining right here at GameRevolution >_<).

Halo 2 (X-Box) - "X-Box is so much better than Nintendo, I mean look at Halo 2, look at the graphics!" (-idiot on the Internet).

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (PS3) -"The reason it has cut scenes so long is because Hideo is trying to tell a story!" (-fanboy on the Internet).

Enjoy.

 

[Squiggy]

Hehe, neat. Doesn't have to be quotes though, it can be just the general idea behind a hardcore fanboy.

anyway

Super Smash Bros.:
The only real players are the ones who turn off items, play characters by tier, and fight on fair and balanced stages like Battlefield and Final Destination. If you play any other way, you're not even a fan.

 

[Master_Craig]

The only real players are the ones who turn off items, play characters by tier, and fight on fair and balanced stages like Battlefield and Final Destination. If you play any other way, you're not even a fan.

Ha ha, so very true.

I'm not that great at games but I will say and brag that I am very awesome at the Super Smash Bros. games . I've heard players say that kind of stuff like, "you're not good at if you play with items and don't <do this>" etc. Personally I think items just add to the strategy and overall fun of the game. But in all honesty I do enjoy one on one fights on small stages like the Final Destination stage. I usually have intense matches with a friend of mine on that stage, he who is also very good at the game.

Anyway, off topic a little sorry! More quotes.

Nintendo - "Playstation?! More like GAYstation!" (-average Nintendo fanboy trying to make fun of Sony).

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children - "Favourite movie: Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children" (-average deviantART user who draws/likes anime).

Final Fantasy VIII (on Squall) - "No! He's MINE!" (-average Final Fantasy VIII fangirl, also found at deviantART).

 

[madster111]

Crysis has better graphics than any console game ever.


..It's true, too.

 

[Boringman54]

Microsoft- XBOX OWNZ ALL!!!!! EVERYBODY ELZE IS NO ONEZ!!!! (every xbot on the planet)

 

[GiftedMonkey]

PC Fanboy:
Console gamers are idiots who haven't figured out they can build a computer 10x as powerful as a PS3 for half the price and just pirate the games. Also, they can't get headshots cuz they don't got a mouse! Nyaaaaa!

Nintendo Fanboy:
Oh man, remember how much fun we had playing Mario/Zelda/Metroid when we were six? That's why I bought every product Nintendo has thrown at me. Its also why I was so upset when the new Mario/Zelda/Metroid game didn't get a perfect score from every singe publication.

"Hardcore" Gamer:
Feggit casual gamers can suck my douche! Fuckin' feggits! Fuckin' Jack Thompson! If says video games cause violence one more time, Ima kill him in the douce-bag face! [Goes into apoplectic fit after going more that 15 seconds without killing something]

Guitar Hero/Rock Band Fanboy:
I got a 97% the first time I ever attempted "Through Fire and Flames" (it was on expert, btw). I was soooooo embarrassed.

World of Warcraft Fanboy:
[Silently enters 36th consecutive hour of WoW]

Silent Hill Fanboy:
Don't you see?!?!? The incomprehensible story and obtuse puzzles are what makes the game so scary! If you can't be bothered to read 65 pages of plot analysis at GameFAQs, don't come crying to me saying it didn't make sense and you didn't think it was the greatest series ever!

RTS Fanboy (Multiplayer):
I just pwned some idiot on Battle.net who actually tried to win by managing resources, setting up well-managed bases and colonies, and making a well-balanced fighting force instead of just zerging in the first three and a half minutes.

General All-Purpose Fanboy (AKA, All of the Above):
I am a virgin, I am pasty from not going outside, I am scared of girls, I have serious health complications stemming from my diet of artificially flavored corn snacks and Red Bull, and I listen to Opeth and/or Rush.

 

[schimmel]

General All-Purpose Fanboy (AKA, All of the Above):
I am a virgin, I am pasty from not going outside, I am scared of girls, I have serious health complications stemming from my diet of artificially flavored corn snacks and Red Bull, and I listen to Opeth and/or Rush.

Yay! I'm not a fanboy! Although I already knew this I'm still relieved.

Don't forget the old Atari fanboys:
"Your new-fangled consoles are cool and all but my Pong still pwns all!"

 

[Squiggy]

Peggle:
My wife divorced me, I sold my kids to science, my dog starved to death last night, and I quit my job. And in the end, I don't care. I have more time for Peggle now.

 

[UghRochester]

Halo 3: We love the game so much...but we argue and say the game is highly overated to make us all feel better

 

[used44]

90's PC gamer:
If the game doesn't punish you while you play it, it isn't a real game. Also, PC gaming is still being supported by most developers, and everyone who plays on consoles sucks at video games.

This is my favorite so far.

 

[schimmel]

Halo 3 Player:
We are better than Call of Duty but only ever play Matchmaking games as Shotty Snipers on Narrows. We love it and no game is better.

 

[DocMoc]

Sonic the Hedgehog:
Have you seen the next game? It looks amazing! The series is really coming back this time! Honest! The last game was just, er, practice! The real comeback is this one!.

This sounds just like die hard Toronto Maple Leaf fans. This year they'll win the cup.. honest!

 

[Briggsred]

Quoted directly from the one and the only (literally) fanboy of LIMBO OF THE LOST!

DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- TIIIIIIIIIIIINNNG

THIS R TEH BEST MOST ORIGINAL GAEM EVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111337

THE OTHER GAME COMPENIES TOOK ALL THERE DESINES FROM THIS GAME!!!!!!!!

LOLOLOLOLOL STUPID N000000000000000000000000000000000BS

BEST REVIEW EVAR!

 

[TheNesMan]

Sonic the Hedgehog:
Have you seen the next game? It looks amazing! The series is really coming back this time! Honest! The last game was just, er, practice! The real comeback is this one!.

This sounds just like die hard Toronto Maple Leaf fans. This year they'll win the cup.. honest!

Oh god, I've heard this far too many times.

Fallout series: Fallout 3 isn't real, fucking bethesda.

Duke nukem: Forever is coming!!....Wait a second..there's no such thing as a duke nukem fanboy!

 

[Rakon]

This sounds just like die hard Toronto Maple Leaf fans. This year they'll win the cup.. honest!

We will! Wait and see!! I'm kidding, I know we suck.

Street Fighter Fanboys:
This is the only good fighting series there is. Not every game is just a remixed version of an older one. All other fighting games stole everything from Street Fighter. I liked it when I was young, so its still better than anything ever made.

The Sims Fanboy:
I can get any girl I want...sort of.

Xbox Fanboy:
We are better than you. We are also all assholes.

 

[Peanutkiller]

Let's Generalize Fanboys!

No