you can call bullshit, but here goes
24th birthday weekend, two female companions and me have a birthday the same week, logical choice is to throw a massive party
Right off the hop everyones smashed, a good 50 people inside one of the female companions apartment, I unleash my skittles vodka to get bitches drunk, we have a near virgin drinker with us, she's convinced the skittles I left to soak in the vodka, then which were filtered out after 3 days somehow means it's a mixed drink, she chugs the bottle
she's out cold, we leave her with an attendant and tour downtown, after 3 rounds of tequila the girls start dancing, the rest of us are having a chill time until a tranny asks my friend to dance. A polite decline sparks her..his? rage "you couldn't handle a trans, bla bla bla" Surprisingly, everyone, myself included doesn't get suckered into the argument, another trans gender (my city is full of them) comes screaming through the floor to yell at trans A about giving the multi gendered a bad name. Within seconds a full on transgender brawl is going off. one of the best scenes I've ever witnessed. An acquaintance breaks it up to our dismay, but he walks off with her... apparently believing tranny b to be a real woman (he'd have to be pretty drunk) and they start necking, which of course meant i filmed
not so much to shame him, as it was to get the reaction of the guys girlfriend, who stormed in an yanked the wig off the trans, and it took a few yanks to be honest, shit was glued in.
The guy realizing what has happened begins throwing up on the dance floor, we slightly drunk people have our own episode of springer and it's live. I attempt to interview them doing my best jerry impersonation, which needlessly to tell you was shit, I apparently tried to mimic chris rocks voice for some reason. The guy who's being slapped by his gf, and the tranny doesn't take kindly to me stuffing a fake mic in his face and asking how he feels, he throws a swing filled with all of his rage, knocking my glasses off into herd of fat girls dancing.
I dive in for em, but they're gone, and now hippos are bouncing atop of me to rhythm, but I had a saviour,that tiny virgin drinking girl has got her second wind, she's pushing aside these land beasts in spandex, and drags me out. Obviously she wants my d that badly, so I go to make a move, but before we can connect I feel something slimy on my face. It's her spit, she follows it up with a slap and blames me for making her puke on her new rug and entertainment centre back at her place
At this point we're asked to leave, and my charming attempts to get my cover paid back to me went... well. In reality the guy found it more agreeable to give me my 10 bucks back rather than argue with a drunk for a half hour.
we mossy outside, and skinny virgin drinker bitch says I am not allowed at her place anymore, but her friends can come still. Being vindictive, and without glasses, I strike back by offering her best friend, a heffer to say to least, a peice of my man meat.
we walk in another directions while skinny drunk yells out that I dont love her and I think she's too fat, all true, but still mean to say
half a block away we realize we have no where to go, but there is the multi story parking garage above the bus station, the stairway is both lit and heated. It's there that poor, poor heffer lost her anal virginity. A classy man would have stopped when she began throwing up, but I am better than that
coming into consciousness a couple hours later, I find myself spooning her lower half, while the rest of her is in a corner with a lovely concoction of her vomit and a homeless mans urine offerings for what appears to been some weeks.
I ensure she is still breathing, adjust my tie and walk out, having no heard from these people since
there was also naked jousting going on at some point,but it's so fuzzy I couldn't give a worthwhile description tricycles, cardboard lances and shots, that was like a side project going on during the tranny fight
you fuckers want to have a wild party and have a friends brown eye be awoken, hit me up
