Baby, do you wash your pants with Windex?

MattAY

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Because I can see myself in them!

I was telling the guys in CO about my date tonight, because I tell them everything <3. Even about the rash on my peni-

So anyway, my date is a 32 year old Asian girl! AAAAAHHHHH!

But I was thinking, what are your worst date experiences? What are your best?!
I'm going in like 15 mins, so horror stories will be read when I get back so I don't get nervous :p

I remember being with a girl in a bar, and she was the shyest and most non-talkative girl I've ever come across! Seriously. And there was one point where we just sat in our chairs watching people silently for 15 mins! I would fish for replies, and only short ones would come back. Awkward silences are one of few things that really make me uncomfortable to the point where I sweat!
I know that's not the worst story out there - come on you fuckers!

Icepick, pretty sure we know all of yours.
 
32yr old asian! Good for you!
reaction-face-MikeTyson-as-Herman-Cain.gif

Sadly, her best years might be behind her.


Best date ended in sex. Long story short - Went to Harmony Fest in Sonoma a few years ago. Saw Matisyahu, India Arie, those type of artists. Huggy dovey the whole time on the lawn - good convo, good weed, walked around and looked at cool trinkets. Went back to her car then to my house (she drove). sex in driveway, doesn't come in. She goes home, no follow up phone call, friend who hooked us up never mentions her or "how it went". Slightly awkward for a month waiting for him to bring it up and for her to call. Neither happened :(


Worst experience - Tons of super formal dates. I hate that sh!t. Meet at a coffee shop and trade pros/cons about what we're looking for and where we're going... kind of necessary, but feels robotic.
 
Oh god, formal dates. I try hard to avoid them until after the sex, because like i've said in the past, you can get over a lot of things but if you hate each other during the sex, you can both love sweet home alabama all you want and still end up trying to kill each other.

My worst date experience involved going to a bar with the girl down in Sydney, turns out there was a fight on the TV so we were both smashed after like 3hrs.
Don't remember how everything happened next, but what i do remember was waking up in Newcastle in a completely different girls bed.
Turns out i'm a bit of a dick when drunk, so when the girl i was dating didn't want to fuck in the mens bathroom (bah! stuck up bitch) i basically ditched her, and started hitting on the 2nd or 3rd ugliest single girl in the place.

Woke up to -not kidding- 40 missed calls, the bulk of which ended in messages from the girl i ditched yelling at me.

Worst part is, i really liked the girl i ditched down in Sydney. She was a cute little redhead and she drove an Integra Type R.

Anyway, the story ends with the girl i went home with kicking my bitch ass out and me walking 1.5km to the train station, and the sydney girl never speaking to me again.
 
Thirty two, MattAY? How old are you man?

My dates always end badly. I think once a girl gets to know me, they must be repulsed or something. I'm really terrible with the opposite gender. Cursed, perhaps.

Went out with one girl who I really liked. We were chatting via online dating (don't roll your eyes), then it turned into texts, which turned into phone calls. We seemed to get along pretty well after a week or so of some solid communication. We went out for dinner and to a movie (I picked her up and drove) and it went really well. She was super talkative, was very nice, funny, attractive and she was very close and cuddley in the movie. I didn't initiate any of it either. After I drove her home, end of date.

The next day I messaged her just to say I had a good time but I got no reply. I already got a bit suspicious/paranoid, but I let it go. The next day I sent her another message, asking if everything was okay. I eventually got a reply, "I'm so confused", I tried to ask, but again no further reply.

The next day when I finished training, I got a message from her basically telling me that she thinks I'm a nice guy but she feels I'm not ready for a serious relationship as she is.

I actually was kinda hurt over that statement, I was pretty offended and insulted too and just thought to myself "You determined this about me, after one date." - she told me all about her dating history with guys that were "bad" and made her unhappy, so I honestly just figured "good luck with the next guy."

All my dates - whether I meet the girl in 'reality" or via online dating don't end well. Can anyone suggest to me as to what I'm doing wrong and why I am retarded?
 
Urbz is here to help.

Master_Craig said:
My dates always end badly. I think once a girl gets to know me, they must be repulsed or something. I'm really terrible with the opposite gender. Cursed, perhaps.
What do you talk about, how do you dress, Do you shave, and where do you meet them?


Master_Craig said:
The next day when I finished training, I got a message from her basically telling me that she thinks I'm a nice guy but she feels I'm not ready for a serious relationship as she is.
Sounds like a cop out. fuck her. Good looking girls who date online are typically dating 3-4 guys, free dinner, nice time, good to feel wanted, etc, she prob went in another direction - at least she can own up to it and not say you're not ready... unless of course you're a man child, but I dont get that sense from you.


Master_Craig said:
All my dates - whether I meet the girl in 'reality" or via online dating don't end well. Can anyone suggest to me as to what I'm doing wrong and why I am retarded?

Where do you live? Urban Area or Rural? Do you live alone, with a roommate? How tall are you? How tall was she? What do you drive?


Sorry for the 3rd degree, but it helps me build a picture.
 
UrbanMasque said:
Urbz is here to help.

Haha, appreciate that man... I'll have a look at your questions here.

UrbanMasque said:
What do you talk about, how do you dress, Do you shave, and where do you meet them?

It's been a while since I've been out on a "date" but the last I remember... I usually try and talk about them - their lives, hobbies/interests, family, job, experiences etc. I try to avoid talking about myself unless they ask me questions.

I dressed relatively alright. A long sleeved dark shirt (not buttoned), black jeans, my work shoes. I do shave too, since when I do have facial hair it looks super lame.

I've met a few girls back when I was studying at university, but lately I've met people online. The latter is probably a mistake, but I guess due to my life style I find it hard to meet people. Brief outline of my life style - Monday to Friday is work, followed by training (gym or/and judo). Weekends is either "me" time - video games, drawing/creative projects, house work etc or, I'm out with my friends doing pretty tame stuff. I don't "party" much nowadays.

UrbanMasque said:
Sounds like a cop out. fuck her. Good looking girls who date online are typically dating 3-4 guys, free dinner, nice time, good to feel wanted, etc, she prob went in another direction - at least she can own up to it and not say you're not ready... unless of course you're a man child, but I dont get that sense from you.

In all honesty, as bad as it might sound... it wouldn't surprise me if she was seeing multiple guys at once. I mean, I'm not implying anything negative about her but she was probably pretty serious about hunting for her interpretation of the right guy, if that makes sense?

UrbanMasque said:
Where do you live? Urban Area or Rural? Do you live alone, with a roommate? How tall are you? How tall was she? What do you drive?

I live in an urban area. I live with my family (live at home - mum, dad, one of my brothers) - it's honestly too expensive to live out of home and I'm saving to one day buy a home.

I'm 6'3 and I weigh just over 100kg (about 220Ibs), I'm a decently fit and athletic bloke. She was about 5'3 or so, slim figure if that helps?

Last but not least, I drive a Ford, a station wagon, 2004 model. I used to drive a Holden but I lost it in a car accident that wasn't my fault. :p
 
Master_Craig said:
UrbanMasque said:
What do you talk about, how do you dress, Do you shave, and where do you meet them?

It's been a while since I've been out on a "date" but the last I remember... I usually try and talk about them - their lives, hobbies/interests, family, job, experiences etc. I try to avoid talking about myself unless they ask me questions.
So far this sounds formal. Make them laugh - find some way to ask cute but funny stupid questions like (top bunk or bottom, what do you want to be when you grow up) . Do some activity - Mini golf is great, batting cages, events like concerts or shows you want to see, but dont want to see alone are better.


Master_Craig said:
I dressed relatively alright. A long sleeved dark shirt (not buttoned), black jeans, my work shoes.
Relatively?
Casual-Goth-Long-Sleeve-Top.jpg

Is this you?
First impressions can get you through. No more black/dark on black.

Unless you show up like this, scarf and all.
silver-sunglasses-green-scarf-black-shirt-brown-belt-blue-jeans-brown-_400.jpg


Master_Craig said:
I've met a few girls back when I was studying at university, but lately I've met people online. The latter is probably a mistake, but I guess due to my life style I find it hard to meet people.
Nope, totally legit place to meet women. Just got to be ready to seriously compete w/o coming off looking like an arrogant cocksucker. A woman you meet out at a work/sports function has time feel you out and gauge whether they would like to get to know you for a second date - women you meet online are playing the field and hedging their bets.


Master_Craig said:
Brief outline of my life style - Monday to Friday is work, followed by training (gym or/and judo). Weekends is either "me" time - video games, drawing/creative projects, house work etc or, I'm out with my friends doing pretty tame stuff. I don't "party" much nowadays.
Your friends ever intro you to people? No Judo/art class hobbyists to date or at least ask out? Whoever you meet sounds like she shouldn't be high maintenance. Online might be the place to find her.


Master_Craig said:
In all honesty, as bad as it might sound... it wouldn't surprise me if she was seeing multiple guys at once. I mean, I'm not implying anything negative about her but she was probably pretty serious about hunting for her interpretation of the right guy, if that makes sense?
Yep.


Master_Craig said:
I live in an urban area. I live with my family (live at home - mum, dad, one of my brothers) - it's honestly too expensive to live out of home and I'm saving to one day buy a home.

I know you know this, but that's massive. Do not bring it up on the first date, but if it ever does come up pull the saving for a house card as if it is your driving passion at this moment in your life. Home ownership is stability, and the first steps to the family you imagine having, blah blah. You live in an Urban area so she is def playing the field.


Master_Craig said:
I'm 6'3 and I weigh just over 100kg (about 220Ibs), I'm a decently fit and athletic bloke. She was about 5'3 or so, slim figure if that helps?
Talk about how Judo changed your life and all that jazz. She'll feel good knowing you care about your appearance.


Master_Craig said:
Last but not least, I drive a Ford, a station wagon, 2004 model.
If you were standing outside a movie theater or something and your date pulls into the parking lot in a station wagon - what would you think? You might not dwell on it, but in your head you'd at least think... "hmmm interesting." Talk about the accident and spell out saving up because of the house if it ever comes up.

Is the area urban enough where you can justify public transport or meet her close to your job and work so you don't have to drive? Pulling up in a cab because you plan on having a drink also seems very responsible.

Also.

Please understand that you're taking dating advice from a guy who is in worse shape than you, drinks more than he should, and who learned all of his dating tips from The Game. At the same time I challenge sightless and dobby to refute any of the claims I made above.

Last tip: don't lie. I never encouraged you to lie, just down-play certain parts of the truth.
 
Thanks for the feedback and critique, Urban... lemme see.

UrbanMasque said:
So far this sounds formal. Make them laugh - find some way to ask cute but funny stupid questions like (top bunk or bottom, what do you want to be when you grow up) . Do some activity - Mini golf is great, batting cages, events like concerts or shows you want to see, but dont want to see alone are better.

This sounds reasonable, in regards of what to do/where to go for a date. Most of the time we do pretty tame stuff but those things sound pretty unique.

UrbanMasque said:
Relatively?
Casual-Goth-Long-Sleeve-Top.jpg

Is this you?

First impressions can get you through. No more black/dark on black.

Uh yeah, pretty much... except the neck isn't so uh, revealing. I hate it when shirts do that. :p Also... I think that guy is wearing eye liner. >_< As dumb as this sounds, I also like to roll up long sleeves. :p

UrbanMasque said:
Unless you show up like this, scarf and all.
silver-sunglasses-green-scarf-black-shirt-brown-belt-blue-jeans-brown-_400.jpg

Oh God no. For one, you'd be crazy to wear that kind of gear in this weather (very humid and tropical here) and two, no offence to anyone who thinks otherwise, I think that looks horrifying.

UrbanMasque said:
Nope, totally legit place to meet women. Just got to be ready to seriously compete w/o coming off looking like an arrogant cocksucker. A woman you meet out at a work/sports function has time feel you out and gauge whether they would like to get to know you for a second date - women you meet online are playing the field and hedging their bets.

That's good to hear... people who find out I've tried online dating have mixed views. Some people will be all "Oh cool how's that going for ya?" while others will be like "Really?..."

UrbanMasque said:
Your friends ever intro you to people? No Judo/art class hobbyists to date or at least ask out? Whoever you meet sounds like she shouldn't be high maintenance. Online might be the place to find her.

Nope, my friends never introduce me to people. I've never really asked, I always felt awkward about it. I would prefer to meet someone who isn't high maintenance. I like to think I'm a pretty relaxed and laid back person so, meeting someone similar would be nice.

UrbanMasque said:
I know you know this, but that's massive. Do not bring it up on the first date, but if it ever does come up pull the saving for a house card as if it is your driving passion at this moment in your life. Home ownership is stability, and the first steps to the family you imagine having, blah blah. You live in an Urban area so she is def playing the field.

Yup, I know... and it sucks. I know women are often repelled by that and to be honest it's fair enough, it's understandable, I just don't really have a choice. I'm told by my friends I'll never meet someone in this town and should consider leaving, but the idea of leaving my family, friends, sport and my job, just to try and meet someone in a completely new place and essentially start over, is crazy to me.

UrbanMasque said:
Talk about how Judo changed your life and all that jazz. She'll feel good knowing you care about your appearance.

Thanks man, I appreciate that. I won't lie, I like trying to look nice and well presented, but it's not why I do all this exercise. I won't rant about it too much but to nutshell it, I really enjoy the feeling of physical accomplishment and pushing myself to new heights and areas, basically seeing what I'm potentially capable of.

UrbanMasque said:
If you were standing outside a movie theater or something and your date pulls into the parking lot in a station wagon - what would you think? You might not dwell on it, but in your head you'd at least think... "hmmm interesting." Talk about the accident and spell out saving up because of the house if it ever comes up.

Is the area urban enough where you can justify public transport or meet her close to your job and work so you don't have to drive? Pulling up in a cab because you plan on having a drink also seems very responsible.

Yeah... I always thought the Ford Falcon I've got is a decent car, but that's understandable. Here where I live, people often expect "manly" cars like utes, trucks, four wheel drives etc... or flash cars like Mazda's and stuff. Public transport like a bus can't work, buses around my area usually stop in the afternoon. A taxi isn't a bad idea if alcohol is involved on potential dates.

UrbanMasque said:
Also.

Please understand that you're taking dating advice from a guy who is in worse shape than you, drinks more than he should, and who learned all of his dating tips from The Game. At the same time I challenge sightless and dobby to refute any of the claims I made above.

Last tip: don't lie. I never encouraged you to lie, just down-play certain parts of the truth.

Eh, it's alright. I honestly appreciate people's advice and input regardless of their own experiences, it helps to put things into a perspective and just give me a better idea on things. Also, I'm a terrible liar. It doesn't work for me. Not that I've tried it in this case. :p
 
What colour is it, man?
Because if it's something other than plain white, give it a set of XR6 17s ($300+tyres) and keep it clean, especially on the inside. If you look like you take care of the car, but aren't into them, that should help out quite a bit. Avoid the 'oh god he drives a wagon' vibe.

Also like to point out that i can't imagine wearing a long sleeve shirt in the NT at any time, even 3am in winter.
 
Start investing in collared shirts people....those can be anywhere from fairly casual to full business attire. Just roll up the sleeves to get a rather casual look.

Plus having at least one suit - or even just a sports jacket - can really come in handy when wanting to look the part.
 
I'll second basically all that Urban says. Especially make them laugh. DEFINITELY make them laugh. I'm an ugly, boring, skinny white guy and yet women usually like me because I can be really funny.

Still, there is zero shame in meeting people on the internet.

Also, Madster, you should make a sitcom based on your life. Seriously, I would watch it.
 
madster111 said:
What colour is it, man?
Because if it's something other than plain white, give it a set of XR6 17s ($300+tyres) and keep it clean, especially on the inside. If you look like you take care of the car, but aren't into them, that should help out quite a bit. Avoid the 'oh god he drives a wagon' vibe.

Also like to point out that i can't imagine wearing a long sleeve shirt in the NT at any time, even 3am in winter.

It's dark red and it's kept in relatively good condition - little to no scratches or dents (there's only one tiny dent and it's not noticeable unless it's pointed out) and I generally keep the car clean on the inside. I take care of it.

You can get away with long sleeved clothing up here at night during the dry season, which is basically your winter, albeit not nearly as cold. It CAN get pretty cold, but never "winter standard".

Green_Lantern said:
Start investing in collared shirts people....those can be anywhere from fairly casual to full business attire. Just roll up the sleeves to get a rather casual look.

Plus having at least one suit - or even just a sports jacket - can really come in handy when wanting to look the part.

Would never wear suits here at all, unless it's for a specialised formal event. As for collared shirts I have quite a few, but I wear them for work honestly. I should probably start wearing them for other occasions too.

Longo_2_guns said:
I'll second basically all that Urban says. Especially make them laugh. DEFINITELY make them laugh. I'm an ugly, boring, skinny white guy and yet women usually like me because I can be really funny.

Still, there is zero shame in meeting people on the internet.

Also, Madster, you should make a sitcom based on your life. Seriously, I would watch it.

I like to think I'm pretty funny but I guess that's a sad way of thinking. :p

As for the Internet, I'm starting to raise my eyebrow at it... I re-activated my online dating account recently and the same people, from six months ago are still on it as active users... that doesn't sound right.

Also, on a side note, I've got two questions.

MattAY - How the hell did your date go? :p

And for everyone else - How do you tell someone you're not interested, when they haven't told you such things?

The reason I ask the second question like that is going to make me sound like a douche, but I just don't know how to deal with it - there's this older lady at work (I'm twenty five and I think she's thirty five) and she makes me very uncomfortable. She added me on Facebook and I accepted the add because I was just trying to be nice without knowing any better, and she sends me Facebook messages every weekend asking what I'm doing, asking questions about stuff I like (movies I've seen recently, video games etc) and yeah. Last night I was supposed to attend a friend's fund raiser and she was going to be there, she was sending me more messages like "What time are you getting here?" "See you soon :)" etc. There's... A LOT more I could rant about, but I'll just leave it with "there's a lot more". My workmate and a few other colleagues have noticed her behaviour and they all think she's interested, but shy about it - how do I... shake this off? Because I'm not interested.

Uh... how do I deal with that? :p
 
It went well :) We ate, then we went for drinks.

We went out on Friday night - got drunk and danced. We kissed.

We went shopping on Sunday, we held hands and had a goooooood goodbye kiss by her car.
It's getting a little relationshippy!

About your problem? Maybe wait until she makes a more obvious pass at you and then say WOAH NELLY! And if she doesn't make the pass at you, I guess just be short in everything he asks. How was your day?...."OK" What you doing at the weekend?..."Hanging out with friends". She HAS to get the message eventually.
 
^ Woo! Go MattAY! You smooth man you. ;)

Regarding your advice on my problem, I suppose that's all I can do really. Because she hasn't said or done anything directly, I can't exactly do anything about it.

As mean and douchey as it sounds, yeah, I honestly do try and avoid her and when she speaks to me, either in person or over Facebook private messages, I try to be as short answered as possible... I actually feel bad about it, but to be honest I usually try and be nice to everyone and some people seem to mistake it for flirting, or something. It makes me feel genuinely uncomfortable and I have been put into this situation before, in the workplace and in my social life.

I seem to always attract the ones I don't want attracted to me. :/
 

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