Therapy - has anyone tried it (personal question)?

[Master_Craig]

I just came back from my first session. It was actually really good and I felt it was very helpful. I'll be going back in two weeks time.

She didn't really offer much "advice", however she listened to me and I really opened up. She gave me some valuable insight from a non-biased perspective and was able to help me identify a few things, some of which I already knew, some of which were revealed to me today.

She believes I don't have depression, however she believes I may have anxiety, which explains my low confidence and my anger issues (e.g. bottling up anger, not expressing myself etc.). She also believes if I don't resolve these issues, I could grow older to have depression or/and severe anger problems.

We talked about solutions, such as how to healthily manage and release anger, to being more confident and to using assertive communication. She's given me a lot of reading material, as well as some of her notes and website links to other resources. She's asked me to practice some of the things we talked about today as well as review all of the material when I can. She didn't ask me to come back, she asked me if I would like to, I said yes and so I'll be returning on the same day/time in two weeks time.

I'm really happy I'm doing this. I think it's really helpful so far and I'm looking forward to reading the resources.

 

[MattAY]

Good to hear it went well Craigy boy!

 

[LinksOcarina]

Man...

I don't think I can really contribute anything further on this case.

In terms of therapy, I was in and out of it for most of my childhood, and not necessarily by choice. I found it helpful, but personally, I always fought my own demons more. In college I had a therapist say to me "I can't help you" over something that was essentially bullshit that I dont really want to get into, so since then I have been fighting my own battles, and doing well. Good and bad days like everyone.

That said, it did help calm me, give me perspective and made me realize...i'm shouldn't stress over things I may perceive about myself, because we are always the harshest critics. We always want to strive for greatness and not achieving it makes us feel inadequate or melancholy.

You are apply for jobs, you are working on social anxieties, you are getting help where it is needed. In my book, you are prefectly fine, and don't need to beat yourself up over these flaws. Remember, that all of this will lead to a good thing.

Maybe it will be a random call saying you got the job, you know. Little things like that always average themselves out eventually, a bad experience to a good experience. That is life in a nutshell, and how we respond to it is how we continue to break against the bad and strive for the good.

And just keep in mind, you got people here who are always willing to listen.

 

[Master_Craig]

Thanks Links, I appreciate your words and response. I'm sorry to hear you had your own battles to endure, but in saying that I'm glad to hear you say that you're doing well, that's great news.

It's only been one session so far so it might be too early to say, but the therapist has given me a lot to think about - assertive communication, how I can apply this in the work place and in my life, ways to (healthily) express and let out anger rather than bottling it in, trying to be more open, social and being able to better express myself. I think this will help.

I also need to learn to not take responsibility for the way people are feeling. I need to be able to stop worrying about what other people think of me and I need to stop being a total people pleaser. It's okay to say "no", etc.

Thanks again for posting, I appreciate it man.

 

[UrbanMasque]

We're always taught to stay in line and wait and not to make too much turbulence - and even in your circle of friends saying "i dont want to do that" or expressing dislike can be viewed as not "going with the flow". but fuck that noise. This is your life - if you don't speak up for what you want, don't expect anyone else to say something for you.

Its like that Jim Carey movie where he starts saying "Yes" as an affirmation to everything and his life changes - its kind of the same thing with being assertive. You dont want to fist fight people who disagree with you, but just by saying "No thanks" or "No offense, but I'd rather do this" - shit will change for you and those small words are SUPER empowering!

That has taken me a while to get used to and not try to be a people pleaser.

Do you, as long as it doesn't infringe on someone else's right to "Do them".

Cheers mate - glad its going well! Keep us posted!

 

[Bretimus_v2]

And maybe just maybe the two of you can start doing each other...

 

[UrbanMasque]

And maybe just maybe the two of you can start doing each other...

 

[Master_Craig]

I thought I'd revive this thread and give you guys an update.

Around September-ish last year, I started seeking counselling through a psychologist as I was feeling depressed and anxious, bringing up a lot problems that have haunted me in the past. I got a lot better when seeing the psychologist, and I felt a lot better about myself. I stopped going at the end of last year because I went on leave from work, went on a holiday etc. I decided it might be a good idea to return to the psychologist. We've determined that a lot of my current problems come from my job, but in saying that, I have a lot of issues from the past anyway that we need to addressed and dealt with.

I feel a lot better again, but at the same time I also feel really, really stupid.

I've had this feeling ever since I was a teenager, I'm talking over ten years or more, maybe. The feeling I get is a tightness in my chest, I have difficulty breathing and I get a funny pressure behind my eyes. This pressure makes me think about crying, except I don't, I can't and I won't, if that makes any sense?

These symptoms happens when I get stressed out. Maybe I'm getting grilled by my boss... maybe something goes wrong at work that's not my fault/out of my control and I'm going to get in shit for it. Maybe my university assignment was due soon, or maybe I was getting bullied in the school yard.

I also get this mental feeling of wanting to leave whatever the scenario is. For example, if I didn't do the right thing by my boss and he grills me, half of me wants to just get up and leave, while the other half makes me stay seated, because I know I'll get in further trouble if I leave.

To be honest, I thought it was just stress, because I heard you can have physical symptoms from stress, but my psychologist explained to me that I was having panic attacks, this whole time apparently. She asked me why I didn't mention these symptoms in our sessions last year, and I explained I thought it was just stress. So it turns out I've been having panic attacks for a long time now, and I was a dumb arse thinking it was just stress. It's actually really embarrassing and I feel very silly for it.

My psychologist believes that I have general anxiety and that the panic attacks I suffer are from stress, so stress is the trigger. I feel really weird because... well, I can have a nearly have a car accident (few years ago) and be completely calm, and get myself out to safety. Yet if I'm in an emotionally confronting situation (e.g. getting grilled at work, stuff going wrong at work, having trouble with friends etc.) I have a panic attack. I don't understand.

I always thought panic attacks were just "freak outs" and I thought man, I wasn't freaking out, I was just stressing, but it shows how much I know, which is very little. Panic attacks are essentially the body's primal, instinctive way of thinking its in danger. Your mind knows you're not in danger, but your body thinks its about to die. So it kinda is a freak out, except it's your body's way of freaking out, not your mind. I think it's super weird too that my body only reacts like this in stressful situations, and not actually dangerous situations.

I've been given a set of breathing exercises to do as well as muscle tension and relaxation exercises and they work surprisingly well. So that's been very helpful so far. I've been advised to focus on my breathing exercises if I feel a panic attack is coming on.

Does anyone, or has anyone here had the issue of panic attacks? What did, or do you do to help cope and manage them?

 

[UrbanMasque]

Does anyone, or has anyone here had the issue of panic attacks? What did, or do you do to help cope and manage them?

Thanks for the update! I feel like im in the camp of, "If I've ever had a panic attack its been disguised as something else and never diagnosed." From pop-warner, all the way up to the last year playing football in college I would get myself REALLLLYYYY worked up in my head - like my head is having mini tremors and I'm super jacked up on adrenaline. It felt like I could step in front of a car and be fine, like my vision was really unstable, my hands trembled a bit, and sometimes it was hard to focus on a sound or conversation because of it. I still don't know what that was, but as I think on it when I'm out and about - it may have been some fear induced panic attack that I passed off as adrenaline or nerves.. Or maybe CTE, lol. :cry:

Anyway, that was not directly caused by human interaction. My response to unfair exchanges has mostly been repressed fits of rage (which probably isn't good for me either). Its great that you've spoken to someone and have identified triggers! Thats the first step to moving past it. People have a really bad habit of making their stress, YOUR stress - from bosses, to spouses, to family. You just gotta work on your BS tolerance level. And definitely don't feel stupid.. I mean how were you supposed to know if no one told you, and now that you know you shouldn't feel bad about it. Breathing exercises are dope!!! There is a google chrome extension called Bell of Mindfulness (that triggers your breathing exercises) that I use during the day to remind myself that this crap - in the scheme of things - doesn't matter. If you use it you should have headphones. Meditation and rbeathing I used to think was new age whoey... but it is actually helping me a lot so I endorse it to others and it sounds like mixed with your martial arts discpline, you're going to get a lot out of it.

 

[C_nate]

A lot of people are not good with confrontation so it's not unusual to hear about having anxiety from having to deal with unpleasant conversations. I think a lot of that comes from not being able to react and respond to it as you might naturally want to. Like you said about the boss chewing you out and having to sit there and take it rather than being able to tell him to fuck off.

I think therapy can be helpful, but I think it can only help as much as you want to get out of it. I was sent as a teen to see one and I resisted and nothing got done, but recently I've been thinking of seeing one again because after my dad passed away in late 2014 I've had these thoughts about him rolling around in my head that I don't know what to do with.

One thing you should definitely try if you don't already is Urban's suggestion of breathing exercises. I don't do anything fancy like meditate or humm or any of that. I simply lie down and focus of my breathing to clear my head and I get to this state where I'm not exactly asleep but not exactly awake either and it feels totally calming. I second that endorsement.

 

[porubansv]

My friend just started a therapy with a similar situation and told me that it's helping

 

[Master_Craig]

I've been given some breathing exercises as well as some muscle relaxation exercises. They are nothing like meditation and I have been asked to do them both at least twice a day. I've been doing them and it really does help.

I agree with you, C_nate. In all honesty, therapy is useless if you don't do anything, e.g. if you rock up to therapy, talk, listen, leave... but no further action? It's a waste of time. A good therapist will essentially give you "home work" to do (e.g. breathing exercises for example) and it's up to you to do them in your own time... so if you really want to help yourself, you gotta do what they recommend.

A good therapist also doesn't want you to come back... e.g. they want to help you as much as they can, but their job is to basically make sure you can walk and function on your own two feet.

C_nate, I'm sorry again to hear about your father. I can't imagine what that's like and I really dread the day when my own father leaves this world... but in any case, I strongly suggest talking to someone about it.

I am horrible with confrontation, but it's something I have to work on. The breathing exercises have seriously helped me out though.

Thanks for your positive input, guys. I'm glad you can relate.