Everything is awful

[De-Ting]

I have 3 PlayStation accounts. One I use for almost everything, one that has PS Plus because I wanted to be able to share it with my siblings, and one I use for Destiny because my first account had glitched drop probabilities.

If I want to get a PS4 and play online, I'll have to buy a PS Plus subscription for my two personal accounts ($100/yr), and if I want to still be able to play the games I've gotten for PS3 through PS Plus, I'll have to keep renewing the subscription on the shared account ($150/yr).

My step brother has ADHD and our parents couldn't trust him with anything, so I let him use the shared account for a while without giving him the password. After so many years, he's basically made the account his. He's added tons of users to the friends list and all of his good stuff is on that account now, for CoD, Destiny, Diablo, everything.

Ever since Sony decided to decrease the number of PS3 systems you could have an account active on from 5 to 2, I've gotten the raw end of the deal as my younger brother and step brother have it on their systems most of the time. As an added bonus for my step brother, when he got a PS4 he insisted on putting the shared account on it, and now I'm paying for his ability to play online.

I'm broke and have a mental inability to work a job I hate. I've tried 3 different ones and applied for dozens more. I started outlining ideas for games and writing novels because that's what I can actually get into, and it's what I love. Unfortunately, nobody around me wants me to pursue my interests. Parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, acquaintances, all think I need to get a "real" job. "Is writing a book going to pay the bills?" - my dad.

I'm staying at my dad's until August 7th. I was supposed to come out here to take care of puppies, but it turns out the vet made a mistake and there was never going to be any. My dad also wanted me to come out here to get me some help. I've been to a doctor and he gave me some new allergy medicine. I'm going to see a sleep doctor and neurologist about Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS) and insomnia. My dad thinks I'll magically become just like a normal person after this is all over. I'll sleep 8 hours a night and work a 9-to-5 job. I'll work all of my life doing something I have no interest in and get fat and die. It's the American way.

Getting a little ranty here so I'll cut it short. The message of the story is I'm going to find a way to either show everyone that I'm not like them or just stop caring about their opinions all together so I can start making some money doing something I like and continue to pay for everyone's stuff.

Also PC gaming is best.

 

[MattAY]

I hate to say it buddy, but your Dad is right...maybe half right. There's a middle ground to hating or loving your job. You can work in a job you have a slight interest in. I'm designer for a sign making company - not the most exciting product to make in the world, but I get to play with Illustrator and Photoshop all day, which I enjoy doing. So it could be worse.

Ideally, my dream job would be to create manga books! But a growing of age moment realised that dream was never going to happen. Which is maybe what you might have to realise. Doesn't mean you have to stop enjoy writing...doesn't mean you will never make a game EVER. You can do these things as a hobby out of work hours and you may catch a break! But you'll be earning whilst doing so at least, and the stress levels will be smaller.

Dont get a job you hate, but you'll have to start getting a grip on the fact that you'll have to compromise! Maybe study in something you have an interest in? But know that it's just 9-5pm and then the time is yours again. You can cook and eat your awesome dinner you've thought about at work all day....You can game from 7pm until early hours of the morning. And let me tell you now, when you book a couple of days off from work it feels REAAALLY fucking good. Not a feeling you'll get if you were off constantly! And if you have nice friendly colleagues then it's all good, you wont hate going to work.

Oh, and fucking stop paying for your brother's gaming!! CUT HIM OFF! ADHD or not, he can fidget with his cock instead (no offence).

 

[De-Ting]

Ideally, my dream job would be to create manga books! But a growing of age moment realised that dream was never going to happen. Which is maybe what you might have to realise. Doesn't mean you have to stop enjoy writing...doesn't mean you will never make a game EVER. You can do these things as a hobby out of work hours and you may catch a break! But you'll be earning whilst doing so at least, and the stress levels will be smaller.

Dont get a job you hate, but you'll have to start getting a grip on the fact that you'll have to compromise! Maybe study in something you have an interest in? But know that it's just 9-5pm and then the time is yours again. You can cook and eat your awesome dinner you've thought about at work all day....You can game from 7pm until early hours of the morning. And let me tell you now, when you book a couple of days off from work it feels REAAALLY fucking good. Not a feeling you'll get if you were off constantly! And if you have nice friendly colleagues then it's all good, you wont hate going to work.

Sorry Matt, heard all of that a million times and it doesn't make a difference.

 

[UrbanMasque]

1 Million and 1 times.

MattAY and your dad are semi right. Pay the bills while you pursue your passion or find a job (or a few part time jobs) that help you advance/learn about your passion during your 9to5.


Like MattAy said, The general gist is to work a job you hate, FOR NOW, in order to build up a large enough body of work to pitch yourself to your dream job/position. Find a Job that you would like to have, see what they require for the position outside of a degree (knowledge of X, time managing or writing Y) and work on those.

You're a funny fricken guy, and I had no clue you had interest in writing!? Start blogging in regular intervals and see if you can generate a following with your work. Chill out on ModDB or other indie game forums to find people looking for writers, and the like. Maybe move to a city and apply with a smaller publisher. I dunno man - you have options, go pursue them.

Your family wants you to be practical, because the last thing they want is for you to be a 60 yr old starving artist who doesn't have any "blue-collar" skills.

Why the fuck are you spending so much on a subscription product!!! Cant REALLY blame you, since my only REAL gripe with Sony is that they don't reward brand loyalty.. I get to keep my trophies.. G.. thanks.. and I get they want to push us to the new console, but they can be less of a douche about it. I kinda want Microsoft to create some cool Xbox One features - at least make the landscape competitive so Sony treats us better.

 

[Bretimus_v2]

At the end of it all this is a lot like therapy if you don't want it you won't get better. Realistically happiness is attainable in many ways. Everyone who builds their dream has to find their seed money from a less desirable job. You're gonna have to suffer through some level of crap to get there.

As far as the accounts. Can't you make a parent account and share plus online benefits. Works for my kids. I don't know if simultaneously.

 

[MattAY]

Haha sorry champ.

 

[Master_Craig]

Hey De-Ting. My post is gonna be long, so brace yourself, but please read.

Sorry to hear about your situation man, that really, really sucks.

In regards to that shared Playstation account... that's not fair. You shouldn't have to be paying for your brother. I understand your brother has ADHD but someone else should be paying for him, whether it's your father or hell, your brother himself. It should not have to be you. That is not fair on you.

As for the whole dream job thing... I'm in the same boat as you, man.

For over four years now I've been working as a multimedia developer for our government's health department. I help design educational health based resources. I get to film videos, edit them, make animations, play with Photoshop, Illustrator etc. It's a very broad range. It sounds fantastic on paper, but it's not.

The role is extremely uncreative - we are forced to recycle all the stuff we've made in the past (we've used the same footage in so many different projects, it's become ridiculous). We're forced to take short cuts. People in the government are extremely arrogant, lazy and self righteous - some horrible combinations. My manager is a very unfair individual, he's a "work to live" kinda guy (which is fair enough, it's how everyone should be) but in turn, he expects his staff to be "live to work". My boss works four days a week (he "works from home" once a week). He's had two months off this year so far - I've had a total of three weeks. If I want one day off - I have to give a ridiculous amount of advance for it, and even then he'll try to convince me to not take it. Let me put it to you this way, my girlfriend and I are going to PAX Australia t the end of the year. I booked it all (tickets, flights, hotel etc) earlier this year in February. My boss said I could go. Last month however, he said I might not be able to go.

I nearly threw a chair through a window. Needless to say, I'm still going.

My dream job? I want to draw for a living. Web comics, animations? I want to do that. I do draw comics for GameRevolution with the weekly GR Strips, but that's freelance casual work. I would love to be doing that full time, but unfortunately they can't afford it, nor do I have the time.

As much as I'd hate to say this, and this will not fix your problem... the people in your life are right - to a degree. Having an income is extremely important, even if you're working a job that you don't like. But, don't let that stop you from achieving your dreams. You enjoy writing, yeah? I didn't know you were a writer, but man you need to pursue that, and you need to make time to pursue that. I know that's very much easier said than done, but at the end of the day you have to make time to do the things you want to do!

I'm gonna throw two examples that I like.

Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins of Penny Arcade both used to work jobs they didn't like. Jerry worked as an IT technician for local schools while Mike worked in retail. Eventually they made the brave (but controversial in their family) decision to take Penny Arcade full time, and rely on fan based donations. Eventually they met Robert Khoo, who slowly built their web comic into the empire that it is today. Penny Arcade has been around for about fifteen years, but it took them six or seven years to really get into it.

On YouTube, there's a YouTuber named Elliot Hulse who specialises in power lifting, strong man training/coaching etc. When he first started his personal training business, he was working out of a van with equipment like crappy tyres and rope. He then started putting videos on YouTube, answering fitness and life related questions and slowly, over a long period of time, built up quite a large fan base. Now, he has over one million subscribers, a massive gym (the Strength Camp) with employees and sells his own products and stuff. It took a long time to build up, but he got there.

My point is, to get where you want to go, you will have to work for it and you will have to struggle through the bad, to get to the good. It's not impossible.

Yes, you may still have to "work" a "normal" job you don't like, whether it's casual, part time or full time, income is still extremely important. Let that job, even if you hate it, be your driving force to where you want to go, where you need to go. Then when you're not working, give yourself the time to do what you want to do so you can get to where you want to go. A bit of discipline will be involved and yes, it will be hard, but all it takes is hard work, patience and persistence and you can do it. Should you succeed with your writings (and I'm sure you can if you work for it) then you'll no longer be working a job you dislike. You'll have made it and be living the dream.

On a random side note... De-Ting, do you do much exercise? I hope I don't sound rude asking this question but the reason I ask is because exercise is not only good for you for your physical health, but it can be very good for your mental health as well. Exercise can make you a happier, more determined person. It's something that won't work over night, it does take time and dedication but it can certainly make your life better.

I don't know if this is going to help you De-Ting, but I hope it does. If you need anymore help or advice, or just someone to talk to, please feel free to send me a private message, then from there I can give you my e-mail if you'd like.

Now, it's time...

 

[used44]

"Stubborn" isn't in the DSM-5. Get a fucking grip.

 

[UghRochester]

Stay with your parents as long as you can. Living alone is great, but paying all the sh*t to live alone sucks

Oh and do what most people are doing now; get a credit card, fuck yourself over by pursuing your dream, ?, die.

 

[vrj_rrls_2015]

Don't worry things will get better