Comics, stories and ideas - feedback? (Perfect Skies)

[Master_Craig]

Hey guys.

So... I'm one of those guys who comes up with ideas of "Aw yeah, I really wanna do this!", I spend so much time thinking about it, I do sketches, concept ideas etc. but at the end of the day I never end up doing it. One of these things is, well, one day I would love to tell a story in the form of a comic.

I have a few ideas and if you guys are interested, I'd like to share them with you. If you wouldn't mind, I'd love to hear your feedback on these ideas, let me know which is the best idea, which is the worst idea, if they all suck etc. Basically, I have multiple ideas but I would like to try and focus on one. I think for now, I should try and focus on writing it (like a script I suppose) and then one day, try and draw it.

Anyway... sorry for a long post, but I'd appreciate your feedback. Here are my ideas, which I'll try to keep as short as possible and nutshell 'em.

Idea 1 working title: "Beast and the Harlot"

This idea is set in modern (or somewhat futuristic) times where in the world is supernatural stuff, so things like monsters, demons, magic and all that sort of thing. The story focuses on two characters. The first character is Simon, a former archaeologist and researcher who is now a hybrid, a half demon and half human. The second character is Suzannah (or Suzy) who is a slightly deranged vampire and Simon's partner in crime, so to speak. Together the two run a supernatural investigation service which focuses on cases of the supernatural, which leads to an inevitable bigger picture (dun dun duuuun). The story is intended to have dark humor and is essentially a series of detective-style stories, taking inspiration from the Angel TV series and the Witcher series.

Idea 2 working title: "Dead Rock"

This idea is set in the future on another world and is essentially a zombie story. The universe has been stricken with a deadly zombie-style virus which has catastrophically effected many worlds. In response to this threat, many worlds have been completely "sterilized" by the Unified Galactic Alliance (UGA - the typical big government). Some worlds are so remote that the UGA has completely abandoned them and left those people to fend to themselves. The story takes place on a very distant desert world that was once a mining colony, nick named by the inhabitants as "Dead Rock". The two protagonists are brother and sister, abandoned twins who are struggling to survive as they aimlessly wander Dead Rock, seeking a means off the planet whilst seeking their third sibling (if they're even alive). This story takes inspiration from Fallout, Mad Max, Borderlands and of course almost every zombie story ever.

Idea 3 working title: "Perfect Skies"

This idea is more of a long story. The idea is that the world is "Gaia" and is completely flat. The world is also up high in the skies, with civilizations living on either very large mountains, floating aisles or nomadic lives in solar powered ships. Going below the clouds is too dangerous and little to nothing is known about the world below. The world is full of pirates, mercenaries, treasure hunters and the like. The world of Gaia is also ruled by a typical bad guy style Empire. The world is a mix of genres, with a bit of cyberpunk, a bit of steam punk with a bit of magic in the form of "Celestials", rare beings who are supposably descendants and reincarnations of angels.

The story begins with a young, arrogant mercenary (a treasure hunter) working in a small crew with two older fellas, brothers who were former soldiers in the Empire. Their first job is a heist - to kidnap a Celestial.

This story takes inspiration from a few things - Pirates of the Caribbean, Mass Effect, Uncharted, Indiana Jones, Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword + Wind Waker and Final Fantasy.


So... those are my ideas, explained as quickly as possible in a nut shell. What do you think?

 

[Paradox]

Perfect Skies caught my attention the most. This sounds like a cool idea Craig.

 

[Master_Craig]

Thanks Paradox, I appreciate that. To tell you the truth, the Perfect Skies concept is my favourite idea of the lot.

 

[used44]

Perfect Skies sounds the most interesting, but it also sounds so much like Final Fantasy. I would be excited to see what you could do with it.

 

[Master_Craig]

I can agree to that, but I hope I would be able to at least differentiate it into a unique story of its own. Appreciate the honest feedback though.

 

[UghRochester]

Perfect Skies followed by Beast and the Harlot. I just don't like Dead Rock. Sounds too much like The Last of Us for me. Then again, it's brothers and sisters in which case sounds like "Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons" meeting zombies.

 

[used44]

Craig, you ever play Rouge Galaxy? I think you would love it

 

[Master_Craig]

Hey guys, thank you all for your feedback, I really appreciate it.

used44, I haven't actually played Rogue Galaxy but it sounds very familiar... I'll have to look it up sometime.

 

[Master_Craig]

I've decided to try and take things slow and rather than jump from one thing to the other, I've begun writing ideas down for each "act" and "scene", I guess I could call them.

I have ideas for who I want my characters to be, but what hinders me in this part is naming them. So for now, those who don't have names, I just call them by what kind of character they are, their "class" so to speak.

What I'd like to do eventually is share with you all my planned characters and give you a brief over view of each one, with a bit of their background, their skills, purpose etc.

As silly as it might sound, I think by giving you guys updates and sharing my ideas with you all might motivate me to keep working on this.

 

[used44]

And then we get to name them? Hellll yeah

 

[Master_Craig]

That's a good idea.

If people are interested, they can help out with the naming of characters who aren't named yet.

 

[Master_Craig]

I have a question... what "style" should I pursue?

Here's an extremely rough sketch I did in my diary... it looks terrible on both sides because of the time spent on it (not very long at all) and because my pen is starting to run out of ink and was being frustrating.

On the left is a bad example of how I try and draw "realistically" I suppose (a combination of Western comics and Japanese manga) and on the right is how I draw my cartoons, such as GR Strips.

What do you guys think?

Personally I like both styles. I enjoy them both. The cartoon style is faster and offers more freedom, while it may not be seen as very "serious" at all, even though I'd like Perfect Skies to have mature themes such as violence and such. On the other hand, the western/manga (more "comic" style I suppose) takes longer to draw, but may yield more serious results, so to speak?

 

[Master_Craig]

I've posted these drawings before in the post your pictures thread, but I'll post 'em again here because quite frankly, it's the only character design I have at the moment that I am one hundred percent happy with. The only thing I'm working on changing is his weapon's design.

This is "<Insert first name here> Jaeger", so yeah... no first name yet. For now, let's refer to him as Cyborg. Cyborg is one of the main protagonists, he's one of the members of the small mercenary/treasure hunting crew, being the younger brother to the captain.

Cyborg is essentially the muscle of this small crew. He's a big dude and the most obvious thing about him is his left robotic arm. Cyborg wields a big arse hammer and conceal carries a firearm similar to a sawn off shotgun. He's supposed to be a real force to be reckoned with, basically the kind of guy you'd want on your side in a fight and who you wouldn't want to be up against.

In the below picture, the design has been slightly changed so he's got armoured looking boots. His hammer looks a bit more mechanical I suppose, taking inspiration from Thor's hammer, Mjolnir.

Personality-wise, Cyborg is an extremely cautious individual who hardly trusts anyone. He's the kind of guy who thinks he doesn't need help and certainly tries in almost anything. He doesn't take shit, is easily provoke and can be quite aggressive. The only person he listens to is his older brother, his captain. Despite this, he's a very loyal person to those he cares about.

Cyborg is intended to be a former soldier of one of the big Empire things in the world. His role was extremely important. He was what's called a Sentinel Guard, whom are essentially experienced warriors who are hand picked to be personal body guards to royalty. Being a Sentinel Guard is among one of the highest honours of the Empire and there is only a small handful of Sentinels. Why he is no longer in the Empire is intended to be a mystery to the reader, as goes for how/why he has cybernetics.

Possible names I've thought of? Khoren (Core-Ren), Ravos (Ray-Vohs). These names are kinda randomly made up fantasy names... but modern names might work. Kyle, Eric, Samuel, William (Bill)...

 

[Master_Craig]

Here's some more characters, concept stuff etc... sorry for a long post and sorry for spamming this thread.

This one was drawn last year, but I'm relatively happy with the concept. It does need some adjustments though in terms of costume, hair style etc.

I quite like the name "Nina" (no last name yet), so that's probably what I'll call this character, she is one of the protagonists of this story. As I mentioned in an earlier post, Perfect Skies will contain rare individuals called "Celestials", beings who are capable of magic and are said to be descendants of angels.

Nina is a Celestial and quite possibly the most powerful Celestial in all of Gaia (the world of Perfect Skies). Her power is untapped and at the beginning of the story she doesn't quite have full control of her abilities or her potential. It might sound cheesy but what I think would be cool, is that should a Celestial ever use their powers, they would physically change somewhat. A typical Celestial's eye colour will change for example, from whatever their natural colour is, to say a light blue. Nina however has drastic changes - her eyes will become completely white/blue (think Storm from the X-Men films) and her hair will change too.

She is involved early on in the story as she is the Celestial that the main characters are supposed to collect... I haven't quite decided if their job will be a rescue mission or a kidnapping - maybe a bit of both? Despite this, it doesn't mean she's useless, even to begin with. She has some control over her abilities and can do some things, but in the future of the story I want her to grow into a powerful, confident individual.

The idea of Nina is that in all honesty, she's supposed to be a bit of a "noob" kinda character, who will be given room for major growth and evolution throughout the story. So basically she starts off as a glass cannon, so to speak. Nina is however very intelligent, is very knowledgeable of the world (in theory at least) and has a big passion for history and other cultures, particularly that of the Celestials and their descendants.

To begin with, her personality is quiet, humble and kind, particularly to children. I think to begin with, her view on the world would be a bit naive, e.g. "Good and bad, white and black" etc. She's also quite scared of herself, scared of what she might be capable of and even more terrified of the idea of someone getting their hands on her to exploit her abilities and use it for their own evil deeds.

This character takes inspiration from a few characters... Yuna from Final Fantasy X, Rapunzel from Tangled and Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

The character above is a concept I'm fairly happy with too, but I'm making works on adjusting her costume and such. Basically... this woman is a pirate, she's a bit of a grey character who might do controversial things. In Mass Effect terms I'd call her a bit of a renegade, e.g. someone who has the potential to do good - but at any cost. This character takes inspiration mostly from Batman's Catwoman. Basically, I want her to be a confident, bad ass and "sexy" character, to put it out there.

This character, let's call her "Scar" for now (again she has no name yet, something I'm finding difficult to come up with) is a leader of a band of pirates. She also seems to have a romantic (or maybe sexual) past with the "Cyborg" character as mentioned in a previous post. She's definitely a potential love interest to the character. The idea is that her and her crew come to odds with the protagonists crew quite frequently.

As a pirate captain, she's a bad ass lady. She can fight and she's not afraid of getting her hands dirty. She's a very "the end justifies the means" kind of character, willing to make decisions that others won't. That being said, her decisions are often are often the "easy" option that others may disagree with quickly.

Alternative look and costume, complete with facial tattoo and awkward pose.

I'm not 100% on this one but it's an idea for her I have... I'm thinking of introducing an idea of an all female mercenary group called The Valkyries, essentially a squad for hire who are very skilled warriors, and I would like this "Scar" character to be a former Valkyrie. The Valkyries take inspiration from Star Wars' Mandalorian Warriors, e.g. a culture of people who live for battle. Again this is just an idea I'm playing with. Feedback would be fantastic - let me know if this is a good idea, or if it sucks.

This next concept is probably one of my favourites, one that I am 100% sold on, with the exception that he should wear a hooded cape/cloak to finish it off. This is "Kao" (Kay-Oh, no last name yet), who is revealed to be the older brother of Nina. Kao is a Celestial himself, however unlike his little sister he is not nearly as powerful and has already reached his full potential. However, what he lacks in power he makes up for in his skill for combat, being extremely skilled in martial arts and the use of his extendable bow staff. Kao is able to take on and defeat multiple armed, trained combatants by himself.

Kao, like his sister Nina, come from a small but very secretive "clan" of Celestials who live in isolation in the world of Gaia, where they are free from persecution, exploitation and free to study their abilities as well as the world around them. Most Celestials are scholars, they have little warriors. Their warriors however are extremely dangerous, and Kao is among the best.

Kao is the assigned body guard of Nina, much to her dislike. He is extremely protective of his younger sister. This, combined with his athletic ability and martial arts, makes him quite an arrogant and over confident character (his confidence is essentially his biggest weakness). He also looks down upon those with no Celestial connection, often seeing the rest of the world as an enemy to his clan. He is very quick to distrust others and sees most, if not all "normal" people as selfish individuals who wish harm upon Celestials, or worse.

Kao is a character whom I want to have a redemption quality, so basically... he's a wanker at first who eventually grows into an honourable and likeable character. He is also a character who I want to appear later in the story. Kao will be introduced to the story in search of his sister.

Kao takes inspiration from various characters, including Red Robin/Tim Drake (Batman comics), Darth Maul (Star Wars) and in terms of personality, Raphael from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Above we have Kao standing in a concept environment I have. This is "The Silent Valley", which is a series of very tall, narrow mountains in a heavily clouded and misty environment. The Silent Valley is hidden away from the world and is known to very little, it is also the home of the Celestials, the birth place of both Nina and Kao.

The Silent Valley takes inspiration from the beautiful landscapes of Norway. It also takes further inspiration from How To Train Your Dragon 2 as well as some of the later environments of Dark Souls II.

Thanks for reading. Any feedback would be appreciated.

 

[Master_Craig]

I feel like a dick for spamming this thread, but here's a few more things I would like to share with you all.

Here is yet another nameless character who I'd like to introduce. For now, we're going to call her "Ninja".

The idea of this character is that she is a spy, perhaps an assassin but I prefer the former, as I would like the "assassin" role to go to someone else. The idea of this character is that at first she's an enemy, an antagonist, but eventually (somehow) moves to the protagonist's side. Perhaps she is working for the bad guys against her will? Some sort of blackmail or threat, maybe? I'd like to introduce this character later on in the story, not at the beginning, similar to Kao.

Speaking of Kao, this character is pretty much a ninja. She's super awesome at combat and primarily uses short swords, inspired by Wing Chun kung fu butterfly knives. The only difference is that traditional butterfly knives are actually blunt, they're designed for crushing, where as her blades would be sharp. She also doesn't use any form of firearms, but instead uses other ninja-style weapons such as throwing knives and such. I'd like to think she could kick so much arse that she could take - and probably beat Kao in a fight. Speed, agility and technique are her game.

This character's past is intended to be mysterious, but in all honesty I actually haven't thought about it much. I'd like to think that similar to the Celestials, she comes from a place that's far away and isolated, a culture that heavily emphasizes martial arts and combat, but more for spirituality and empowerment, rather than thrill for battle or anything like that.

Like I said, my vague plan for her is to be an antagonist who is working for the bad guys against her will. Clearly they've got an unwanted grip on her and using her as an extension of their hand, which eventually leads her into conflict with the main characters and perhaps, somehow overtime, an alliance.

Here's her original design, which I can't stand anymore. It looks like a frickin' balloon or a condom for a hoody. I don't like it but I'll share it anyway.

In terms of design, Ninja takes inspiration from characters of Mortal Kombat, most notably Scorpion as well as Kitana/Mileena.

Now, please don't laugh at this one, because I completely screwed up the proportions (the legs suck)... but I'd like to introduce to you all a rough sketch of the main character of our story. This was drawn earlier last year.

This is the nameless protagonist (yup, he needs a name!). He is the third member of the crew of good guys, or well, uh... protagonists, I guess. He doesn't get along with the Cyborg character, however he views the Cyborg character's brother (the Captain) as a father-figure, a mentor.

This young fella grew up in a small village to the far north, a town called Snowvale. When he was just a child, the village was caught in a cross fire between two separate forces. He survived but was left a traumatized orphan, losing a sister, a mother and a father.

It was by sheer coincidence that the Yaeger brothers (Cyborg and Captain) had arrived to Snowvale to commence a shipping deal when they found the village destroyed. Upon searching the village, they found the nine year old boy. Arguing over what to do with him, the Captain decided to take him on board their ship and he's been there since.

Fifteen years later, that young boy has grown up into a young man, a cocky, reckless young man.

He's a reliable crew member who assists in jobs and does certain tasks on his own. Being taught and trained by the Captain, the protagonist is good with a sword, accurate with a gun and not bad with his fists, although his skill is less refined and more that of a brawler. In combat he fights in a manner similar to his mentor, a short sword in one hand, and a pistol in the other. He is very athletic, essentially being able to "free run" and out run almost anybody. He's also a skilled pick pocket and thief.

Being traumatized by what happened to his family and village as a child, he often experiences nightmares of what happened that day. He deeply fears being alone, often worrying about the safety of those who are close to him. Despite this, he seems to have no regard for his own personal safety, often doing outrageous and very risky stunts and actions.

Personality-wise, the protagonist acts cocky, at times rude and is a bit over confident. He is also a womanizer. In truth, this is almost all a facade as behind his confidence is a scared child.

With the protagonist, he's also a character that kinda starts off as a "noob" because again, I want him to grow into a hopefully likeable, reliable and skilled character, someone who essentially starts from the bottom and works their way to the top. Someone who becomes a leader, student to master so to speak.

I'd like him to eventually be romantically involved with Nina, the Celestial character, but of course their "relationship" would start off as bitter annoyances to one another, which would eventually grow together and form a bond over the course of the story. Maybe?

This guy takes inspiration from a lot of "cowboy" kinda characters, guys like Han Solo of Star Wars, Nathan Drake of Uncharted, Peter "Star Lord" Quill of Guardians of the Galaxy just to name a few.

 

[Paradox]

This is sounding pretty awesome Craig. I'll see if I can help brainstorm some names at some point.

 

[Master_Craig]

Thanks man, appreciate that. I'll be posting an update shortly with more concepts.

 

[Master_Craig]

Hey everyone.

I'd like to share with you all some more updates including sketches and rough concept drawings.

First, I'd like to introduce you all to the ship of the main characters, the Planet Diver.

The Planet Diver is not a unique ship (other than its name and modifications). This ship was inspired by a few other ship designs including Serenity (Firefly series), the Normandy (Mass Effect series) and even military submarines of today's modern world. The ship is more of a transport vessel, modified and upgraded with weapon capability. This idea came from Star Wars' Millennium Falcon.

The idea is that these ships (along with many other ships) in this world operate similar to space ships of science fiction, e.g. fast, agile etc. Should people be standing on the outside well, then they're probably going to fall off, but inside the ship would be some kinda, I dunno, groovy gravitation thing that would keep people inside stable and level, so to speak. When in combat or something, everyone would have to get inside. During times of quiet and peace, people could be outside on deck. The ships will have shields to protect them from projectile fire, however shields will not project from hard collissions, from other ships or objects etc.

The sails on the ship are not really sails, but more or less powerful solar relays that allow the ships to operate, so yeah, the're basically super solar powered.

I've drawn a small figure standing at the front of the ship to represent how big a normal person is on board the Planet Diver.

Now, I'd like to introduce you to the ship's captain, who is of course nameless at this stage and will for now be referred to as 'Captain'.

So, Captain here is the ship's captain, and he's a former soldier of one of the militaries in this world, haven't quite decided. All I know is that he would have served the same army as his younger brother, the Cyborg character.

Appearance wise, the Captain takes obvious inspiration from Snake Pliskin from the Escape from New York / LA films, with a bit of further inspiration from Naked Snake / Big Boss (Metal Gear Solid series) as well as Geralt of Rivia (The Witcher). Personality wise, he is similar to Malcolm Reynolds from the Firefly series - a man who simply wants to get by and live. An honourable, honest man.

With his military/naval experience and intelligence, the Captain is a skilled tactician in combat and makes for a good leader. He's also the opposite of both his brother and the main protagonist - he is usually cool, level headed and calm, a fairly laid back individual. He's also a guy you wouldn't want to muck around with as he's a veteran soldier - skilled fighter and experienced with different weapons, an excellent marksman. Despite his kind nature, he can be ruthless when needed to be, albeit his ruthlessness is much more tamed when compared to his more hot headed younger brother.

I mentioned before in an earlier post that he, along with his brother found the main protagonist as an orphan in a recently destroyed Snowvale (the protagonist's home). Making the difficult decision, the Captain decided to take the boy with them on their ship and since then, things just kinda stuck. Over time, the Captain saw the boy as a son-figure.

Now, to introduce the ship's pilot.

This older lady is also nameless, God all my characters so far are nameless, for now we'll call her 'Pilot'. The Pilot is, well as her title implies, the much trusted pilot of the Planet Diver. She also acts as the ship's main mechanic.

As an older character, she doesn't take shit from anybody and is quite frankly, a brutally honest person who swears a lot. She's also the one who can pull people into line, especially the two brothers. To be honest, I'm considering to make her a relative of the two brothers, perhaps an aunt, or something?

While often acting as a voice of wisdom and reason, she's quite stubborn, quite possibly a little crazy but she's a frickin' good pilot. Her past is extremely broad but she's been flying for a long time, flying all sorts of ships. From simple couriering, to cargo transporting, to ships of warfare as a former naval officer, she's been on a lot. She's also a character who fits right in our story from the very beginning.

Now, a new character. Typically he is nameless, but he fits the "Assassin" role.

This guy is a very much 'strong, silent type' role. He's also supposed to be a very charming individual, good with the ladies and such. This guy's personality is very much inspired by James Bond, while his appearance is based off a few other characters, such as Jacob Taylor (Mass Effect series) and Balthier from Final Fantasy XII. His abilities are inspired by superhero style archers such as the Green Arrow from DC Comics and Hawkeye from Marvel. As his appearance suggests, he is a character of style and class.

The assassin character is, as his title suggests, a former assassin. Whether he was freelance or working under someone (such as a government or empire) has yet to be decided. He is extremely skilled with a bow and arrow, achieving most of his assigned kills with such tools. All of his victims were those of power and corruption, particularly in the political arena and sometimes in areas of piracy. As an assassin he was never caught and usually the only piece of evidence left behind was the arrow used to kill his targets. The alias given to him by locals, myths and rumours was "The Death Arrow".

The assassin is gifted in other abilities and skills such as stealth, breaking and entering and some martial arts/melee abilities, although he much prefers his battles from a distance. He also uses different arrow types, such as flaming arrows and explosive arrows, but nothing too "tricky".

This is a character who I would want to appear later down the story. I also think at first he is a cold shell of a man who eventually grows to be a warmer and more caring person, seeking redemption for his crimes. I also think it'd be cool to have him as a potential love interest to the "ninja" character.

Now last, but not least I'd like to introduce one more character. A villain this time. He's again nameless, so hah.

This big bastard is what's known as a Draconi (Dra-cone-eye). The Draconi people are a rare race of people who are said to be descendants of dragons (dragons are extinct in this world). Draconi are much larger than humans, often being at the average height of seven feet. They're also much stronger and more durable than typical humans. Draconi are inspired by the Trandoshan races of Star Wars, with a bit of Killer Croc from DC Comics' Batman.

Draconi are often employed throughout Gaia as "muscle" roles, such as body guards, mercenaries, pirates and such. Draconi are unfortunately often persecuted by other races in the world and are often feared and rejected by others. Because of this, the Draconi have developed aggressive racism to the other races, but only because that is how they were treated to begin with. Draconi are a society of warriors who have a sense of "Only the strong survive". Because Draconi are said to descend from dragons, Draconi view dragons as their ancestors and even gods. In particular, there is a location in the world of Gaia known as "Luna's Corpse" (Luna being a deceased dragon) that the Draconi view as sacred, holy ground.

In this case, this particular Draconi is a hired muscle role. I'd like him to be a rival to the Cyborg character. Perhaps he is the reason why the Cyborg character is a cyborg?

Draconi are fierce warriors due to their strength and size. On top of that, some Draconi have the ability to breathe fire.

I'm also considering to give him a tail, maybe.

That's it for now!

 

[Master_Craig]

I know I'm one of those dick heads who says "I've got this idea I wanna work on!" and I get all super excited about it, stay motivated for a few days and then I stop... but recently, I've been writing a lot of ideas about characters, the world they live in and slowly putting the story together in dot points. I guess that's kinda progress. :/

 

[De-Ting]

Don't feel bad. That's how my book started.