Nobody cares Ugh, let's all talk about anything else...

Discussion in 'Films, TV, Music, Books, Etc.' started by UghRochester, Aug 1, 2010.

  1. MattAY

    MattAY Forum Moderator
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    Haha, I know nothing about girls.

    Posh wank tonight guys...............aaand done.
     
    #21
  2. lokness

    lokness Rookie

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    Stal sounds like he knows his shit, and is probably speaking from experience.

    I know what u get up to cuz.
     
    #22
  3. madster111

    madster111 Rookie

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    It's not for women to see, it's for your bros to see and in case of emergency.

    Not only can they be a very good idea if you're on a date with a girl you've had sex with before and don't really know what will happen that night, but they can also be used for other things.

    For example, get the mayonnaise off your burger at maccas and fill the condom with it.
    Place mayo-filled condom in the paper towel dispenser in the restroom.

    If you stretch one out, it can even be used as a sock if it's good quality and you don't want blisters.
     
    #23
  4. MattAY

    MattAY Forum Moderator
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    You're joking right?
     
    #24
  5. UghRochester

    UghRochester https://www.twitch.tv/ughrochester

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    I hope he's joking...seriously the condom would end up exploding and what would have there? Nothing but a pussy filled with nasty ass mayo off a burger...do you dare to eat out?
     
    #25
  6. MikeyVassallo

    MikeyVassallo Rookie

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    Dude... women aren't retarded. Well, maybe the women who sleep with you.
    If you are about to get down and you MAGICALLY have pulled a condom from thin air and about to shove it in their vagina they will seriously stop you and as: "Did that thing come out of your wallet? Have you been carrying that around for months? Years? And you want to stick that in my vag? No sir."

    But again, your dates would have to be unconscious.
     
    #26
  7. used44

    used44 Forum Moderator
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    I actually carry two wallets; one for cash, ID, credit cards, etc. - and the other is just jammed full of condoms. Full full. Stal doesn't know what he's talking about.
     
    #27
  8. MikeyVassallo

    MikeyVassallo Rookie

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    Look man, do not tell them about the special wallet.
     
    #28
  9. MattAY

    MattAY Forum Moderator
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    I think you should show them. Then when you flip open the wallet you can say, "FBI"....
     
    #29
  10. UghRochester

    UghRochester https://www.twitch.tv/ughrochester

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    Look, I may be the retarded poster on here...but is doesn't take a moron to say Stal is absolutely right. If you're going to store condoms for over a period of time, try your dresser drawer...If you going to shag a woman anywhere...go to a local store and buy one in front of her.
     
    #30
  11. schimmel

    schimmel Rookie

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    How would you know, Ugh? In your case if you're going to shag a woman she'd be very drunk
     
    #31
  12. MattAY

    MattAY Forum Moderator
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    I guess no one got my Female Body Inspector joke.

    I simply kept it in my wallet for convenience. I havent gotten laid in 10 months so it was probably time to get rid of it anyway! I'll just buy some when I need them.
     
    #32
  13. madster111

    madster111 Rookie

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    Yes.

    So drunk that you could tell her you're God and you magic'd it out of the air and that it cures cancer, and she would believe you.
     
    #33
  14. FrozenBacon

    FrozenBacon Veteran

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    I used to store condoms in my wallet. That is back when I didn't get laid. Sex isn't something that you stumble into, life isn't a porno, you know you want it and when you have a chance of getting it before you do get it.

    There were a couple times where the chick did catch me off guard, but they ended up having their own. A chick who initiates sex and doesn't have a condom is probably trying to make babies, or maybe 16. Either way, it isn't good for you.
     
    #34
  15. madster111

    madster111 Rookie

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    It's very good for me, mate.
     
    #35
  16. MattAY

    MattAY Forum Moderator
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    Me too :D I love Europe (and now Australia)
     
    #36
  17. keepithowitis

    keepithowitis Rookie

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    Madster, I have a question.

    In Australia, when you buy orange juice at the store, do you have an option to get "pulp" or "no pulp"? Because they do in america. And pulp is such a disgusting word. However, in England, I've heard they say "with juicy bits" or "without juicy bits". Now, this would make me want to move to England in a heartbeat, but unfortunately I don't like anything else in England (besides Mattay ;)). Do they say "pulp" or "juicy bits" in Australia? If it's the latter, I believe I'll bemoving to Australia asap, as the combination of juicy bits and Australian accents, which are sexy as fuck, would make it a very nice place to live if I do say so myself.
     
    #37
  18. keepithowitis

    keepithowitis Rookie

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    Also, there's this chick I've been friends with for AGES (well no, almost a year since she moved here from australia... meaning she has an Australian accent, holy shit!) but like she does not like America one bit! So how in would I be if I went to Australia and came back and told her how much of the shit Australia is? Since I'm certain it is the shit. Damn, I would be so in. Cept she's not going to be at my school till next year which seems a bit off but really it's pretty normal and not creepy or anything, it's not like i like the girl now although there's certainly potential that could unfold sometime between now and her freshman year but all aside from that, if a trip to Australia is in order (and it is) then I'd like very much to learn about cool stuff to do so I can get cool stuff done and get back and be in! And maybe to get some orange juice without juicy bits, oj is nasty when you get too many juicy bits and it ends up being sort of like a sludge, yuck. ok sorry for threadjacking, go back to whatever we were talking about before... or tits.

    Edit: oh yeah it was about condoms. My friend had a condom in his wallet, and did not get laid because the girl he was tryna get it done with saw him take the condom out of his wallet and show it to some of his other friends about two hours before he prepositioned her. Buzzkill. Anyway, that's me keeping it relevant.
     
    #38
  19. MattAY

    MattAY Forum Moderator
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    ...Ian you're drunk aren't you.

    Silly boy!

    We do indeed say juicy bits. And I also hate juicy bits. You should ask the girl if she has juicy bits (HAWHAWHAW!!!)
     
    #39
  20. madster111

    madster111 Rookie

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    Most are pulp, but i've seen the words 'With juicy bits!' on a couple different things.

    And yes, the legal 16 year olds and 18 year old beer laws are the only things keeping me in this country.
    Otherwise i would be moving to Holland.
     
    #40

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