Steve Zissou - We all saw when he Hulked Out. Dude's a beast who has fought South Asian Pirates. He also has a three legged dog. He would have been a better foil to Sparrow.
Kumar - While neither has common sense and is clearly on something, Kumar does have a medical degree and doesn't talk to himself.
Anton Sugar - He is perhaps the most frightening character of all time because he is believable. I'm still afraid of this guy.
Ofeila - One is a zombie girl, the other is princess of a magical kingdom. Going with Princess.