Dinner For One

[Gunner37]

Well me and my girlfriend just broke up after a year and a half of dating and the reason why she said and I quote "I think we are going apart". I'm sitting here dumbfounded because I truly love this girl and was thinking of popping the question but I guess no diamonds for her. She just goes on and on about how she just doesn't feel the same way as she did like a couple of months ago blah blah blah. I kept listening and until she stopped talking she asked if I was ok I said "Not really because I loved her and wanted to be with her and so on." This conversation went on for about 2 hours and all.

She still wants to be friends and stuff but I don't think I could because I just literally got my heart crushed by her and I'm super depressed right now because I still can't really comprehend what just happened. So I think I'm going to try to be civil and try to be friends but highly doubt that will work because I still love her and all that.

Also she even gave me my birthday gift early because she already bought it and didn't want to return it because she got it online, it is an Nintendo 64 and a whole boatload of games because I never owned one as a kid and always wanted one. So it's nice and all but still it's like a break-up gift and it kinda takes away the fact that it was for my birthday

My roommates are trying to cheer me up by hanging out with me tonight and throwing a huge birthday party for me on my birthday for me next thursday so I can meet some new people but I highly doubt i'll enjoy it because i will most likely still be depressed and all.

Sorry for the long post just had to vent to you guys/someone else besides the people I know and hoping to get any advice/words of wisdom from all you handsome devils.

 

[Mod-Chip]

I feel for you man, I've been there.

Here's something that might upset you further, but much like ripping out a band-aid in favor of sustained grief, it's better to face the truth: she probably found someone else.

The reason I say this is not to be a dick or to kick you when you're down, but I've seen it happen way too many times...the whole "we're growing apart" is symptomatic of "I've found someone else/It's not you, it's me". Knowing this prepares you for the inevitable moment when you'll see her with someone else. It'll sting, but at least you'll be in the know.

That being said, drink up my friend. Drink up, but before you do, make sure to change her name on your cell to "Do not dial". As far as you're concerned you're done with this relationship, you owe her nothing and you have nothing to apologize for.

It'll get better, but the truth is, most break-up woes last well into three months before you get over it.

Good luck, and we'll be here for you.

-BBK

 

[intoTheRain]

1) there, like mod chip said, is most likely another guy, so prepare for it.

b) do NOT be friends, the only reason she wants to be friends is because you're the one who's gonna get hurt when you find out shes going on a date or with a new guy. if the shoe was on the other foot, she wouldn't want to be friends. she also wants to keep you on a string as a backup plan. YOU ARE NOT A BACKUP PLAN 8)

4) talk to people.. it's gonna suck and you're gonna feel like shes the only one for you and your love life is over for a while. but it isn't i promise, you'll be over her in a few months, maybe quicker if you meet someone new quick enough. but talk to people, always. try not to be completely alone, or you'll just be a mess. a broken heart is the worst pain in the world.

5) delete her from facebook, do not call, do not stay in contact in any way. if you stay in contact it will drag out the pain 10x longer.

c) do not try to get her back or even think it's possible. this came out of the blue, you thought everything was great. this was not a fight breakup, this was pre meditated. her mind is made up and shes gone. your ONLY hope of her ever coming back is if you act like you're cool with it and better off without her. she might think HEY, why does he think he's better off without me. then get hot for you again. but don't count on it. if it happens if happens. move on.

g) take this as an opportunity to turn yourself into a 10x better person, so you can feel great when you meet up two years from now, shes fat, knocked up, and alone. you're ridiculously jacked and tan, multi lingual, have a great job and a smokin' girlfriend you're engaged to.

9,001) it's hard man, but follow these steps and you'll be a lot better off. i know how hard it is to do when you're in the situation you're in though.

GOOD LUCK!

one of my biggest regrets in life was not following the commandments i just wrote down when my first love broke up with me after 4 years out of the blue for another guy. i was a mess, and i looked like such a bitch.

 

[De-Ting]

Sorry, bro. Seems like a trending thing for GR members. You're in good company.

 

[Rakon]

Intotherain is extremely right about everything he said. Follow his words exactly.

What my contribution is this: This is going to hurt. A lot. For a very long time. Don't think you have to get over it within any amount of time. Take your time, feel your feelings, and yes, it will get better.

And don't be her friend. Literally all of my sadness from being dumped goes back to me buying into that shit (also, there was another guy involved, who she then left for his best friend. Ya).

And when in doubt, just read your sig. It applies to now the best.

 

[spartan317]

Rain, I could've used a friend like you when my first "great" love left me...

Truth be told Gunner, both of these broken hearted bastards have the best advice that can be given to someone who's just had their figurative heart ripped out of their chests...

It takes a while but it gets better sir... I promise you...

and this can't be stressed enough

**DO NOT CONTACT HER IN ANYWAY**

nothing there but pain friend

 

[Gunner37]

Yeah I did think about the whole we have been growing apart thing as she did find another guy and yeah that is just making it worst but hey the bright side is I get to save money now but still thanks for the advice guys im going to try not talking to her for awhile

Also from what im told is that my buddies who are organizing my bday party next week are making sure she will not be there so thats a plus

 

[spartan317]

strippers are good distraction too... unless that's not your crowd...

 

[Gunner37]

Actually have never been to a strip club

 

[intoTheRain]

Actually have never been to a strip club

honestly i find it a little dirty too. but it'd probably be a good thing for you to do. get a lap dance

 

[Gunner37]

Actually have never been to a strip club

honestly i find it a little dirty too. but it'd probably be a good thing for you to do. get a lap dance

Well I would like to go to one but all the ones around where I live you have to be 21 to go inside which I am not until next Thursday so maybe I will go that weekend to check it out.

 

[Wes]

Ouch man that sucks. I hate seeing broken heart threads, it's the worst feeling in the world, but it happens to all of us, I've seen many on GR.

The important thing to do is remove her from your life, out of sight out of mind, Sounds easier than it is, that's true, but the less you see her/talk to her (IRL, text, online, etc) the better.

Eventually you'll get over it, but nobody can tell you when. Until then always rely on your friends. And remember many of us, including myself, have been there. Get better.

 

[MattAY]

Just give it time Gunner. Remember what you love - Manga, read a fuckload of manga!

It'll get easier overtime, and soon you'll be all, "my friend got me this N64 - it's awesome!"

Enjoy the party!!

 

[Sightless]

Do you need us to come over? We can watch anime ALL NIGHT LONG.

 

[intoTheRain]

the fact you're not fighting the fact shes likely found another guy is always a good sign. usually guys are in denial until a few months in.

you're gonna be fine old chap

i always just tell myself be thankful it happened, because there is someone better in every way out there waiting for me, just gotta find her.

 

[MattAY]

^ I'm right here big boy.

 

[Optimus-Crime]

There is someone better in every way out there waiting for me, and I did find her. It's your girlfriend, intoTheRain.

I want you to be as understanding and helpful as you've been with Gunner throughout this process. I need you to move out within the week, preferably this weekend.

I'd appreciate it.

ps: I can't believe you could be so understanding, but you've been helpful in this topic on telling other men how to get their love lives in order, I figured it best to leave this info here.





Don't listen to other people on how to deal with your life, especially when it comes to love. Don't even listen to me. You're not a fucking robot, she's not a robot, and there's no manual to this. Not every woman is paint by numbers.

 

[intoTheRain]

Gonna suggest you take the advice of the people in the thread that are not sociopathic headcases that have actually been in relationships and actually have emotions.

So everyone but one.

Good luck.

Chris shouldnt you be banging your boss you sexy beast. The women cant resist you, not like any of us normal folk could possibly understand women like you. Let us learn on our own. This is our journey not yours.

 

[Gunner37]

Yeah I need catch up on the manga i've missed and sure sightless we can watch anime all night long together in bed.

 

[Optimus-Crime]

our journey. our collective journey? our 1 collective journey? If it is everyone's personal journey, why the fuck are you giving advice when you've admitted to failing in the past?

Don't come online for advice on women. IT'S SO FUCKING STUPID. Your woman is not online, and we do not know her. Actually, logging off would probably benefit you in far more ways than any soothsayer could give you on this or any website.

that my boss wants to fuck me isn't anything terribly exciting or noteworthy. in fact I only shared because the boards were so dead at the moment.

Taking relationship advice from men on a video game site is cute and all, but why not fuck up -- or have success -- on your own. The only people who are in any position to give relationship advice on GR don't talk about their relationships on GR, or have left the forums to attend to their ... gasp ... relationships.

Do you even know the definition of sociopath? That I don't agree with anything you say doesn't make me a sociopath, it just means I think you're full of shit.