Hangovers Ft. Everclear

[Eyebrowsbv31]

I don't get hangovers. I'm drinking everclear mixed with whiskey to get a minor, MINOR fucking buzz. if you don't know what everclear is and you're american, it goes into your car as 10% ethanol technically. From what I understand 3oz of Everclear leaves most people puking drunk. I'm at 5oz so far and I'm generally coherent in this post. Fuck.

I'll be up at 3:30am tomorrow for work with an update. Clearly I must be an alcoholic or I have some sort of superpowers. For you un-american types, this is everclear (local St. Louis, so I'm being Green!)

tl;dr I ran out of everclear.

 

[Eyebrowsbv31]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aofoBrFNdg

 

[Longo_2_guns]

I think you're drunker than you think you are.

I've started getting hangovers real real bad, but mostly in the sick stomach variety. Though my stomach is weak as fuck already, so that's probably why.

I don't really like Everclear. I would rather have 20 beers, or whatever the equivalent is.

 

[StudioTan]

They were a pretty decent band.

 

[Eyebrowsbv31]

Yeah I'm good. Way to burn my one drunk post though.

I demand drunk stories!

 

[De-Ting]

Alright, man. Give me your keyboard. Pick up your Tab and Shift your weight toward the Esc. Enter the Backspace of your car, I'm in Ctrl now. I'll turn on the Scroll Lock for the Windows so you don't try to Wake Up the neighbors.

Don't worry, I'll get you Home.

 

[Eyebrowsbv31]

Alright, man. Give me your keyboard. Pick up your Tab and Shift your weight toward the Esc. Enter the Backspace of your car, I'm in Ctrl now. I'll turn on the Scroll Lock for the Windows so you don't try to Wake Up the neighbors.

Don't worry, I'll get you Home.

That was the worst, and I love it.

 

[Master_Craig]

I demand drunk stories!

I got a few for you. They're pretty tame compared to other people's stories. Here's one I have selected for you.

About four or five years a go, a mate of mine had sadly broken up with his girlfriend of... God, about four or five years? Anyway, it was a messy break up and he asked me to "come out to town" with him (basically, go to night clubs/bars) and have beers with him. He's one of my closest friends, so of course I said yeah.

So we went out, just the two of us, went from bar to club, club to bar etc. just drinking beers. Suddenly, it was 3 AM and at this particular club, that meant closing time.

This random girl starts trying to pick up my friend. He agrees, but only on the condition that she gives me a place to sleep. So she agrees to that. We rock up to this random girl's apartment in the middle of the city. I get to sleep on the couch. She and my friend go into her room, I pass out on the couch.

I don't know when but at some stage, my friend woke me up. I had no idea what the hell was going on, or where I was. My vision was blurry and I was so groggy. My mate was shaking me by the shoulders, "Craig, wake up. We gotta go. We gotta go now!" he whispered to me. He sounded almost like he was panicking.

So I tried to get up, couldn't, and my friend ended up having to help me up to my feet. I looked around, and I noticed that all over the floor and the couch were lots of towels, sheets and stuff. I have no idea why, but I proceeded to pick them up one by one, neatly fold them and then place each folded piece on the couch in a nice, stacked up pile.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" my friend whispered. I'm pretty sure he wanted to yell at me.

"I need to fold these sheets." I drunkenly responded.

"Craig, we gotta go. NOW." my mate pressured.

"I NEED TO FOLD THE SHEETS!" I yelled.

Suddenly, in an awkward triangle, there was that girl, my friend, and a drunken me. My mate was looking back and forth at the girl and me, the girl was staring at me in awe (maybe disgust) as I continued to fold the towels and sheets.

"You guys can get the fuck out." she said.

So... we did just that. We took a taxi ride, went passed a McDonalds, my friend bought me breakfast, I basically had my head hanging out the window like a dog, got home at about 7 AM and went straight to bed. I crawled out of bed at about 3 PM that day with the worst hang over.

Morale of the story... if someone says "we need to go, now", don't stick around to do laundry.

I have more weird stories. Let me know if you'd like to read more.

 

[Longo_2_guns]

Wait, why did you have to go?
Did you throw up all over?
Because that has happened to me before.

Here's my worst/best story.

It was the day before class started in my last semester of undergrad. My friends and I did "bottomless mimosas" (we just had like 9 bottles of cheap champagne and orange juice) and drank heavily from 4 in the afternoon until 9ish, when we went to a bar.

I don't remember the bar.

But I do remember walking home at midnight, staggering, and having someone yell. "HEY! You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Where do you live?"
"Just at the end of this block, I'm almost home."
"Okay, get home safe."
"Thanks officer."
That is when it dawned on me that I was talking to a cop. Good thing I was obviously a dumb student.

But it gets worse.

I get to my door, and I empty out my pockets looking for my keys. I then drop my keys, forget I was looking for them, and think "OH NO, I LOST MY KEYS TONIGHT!"

So I sit on my doorstep and nap for what I assume is around an hour (since I also dropped my phone) and wake up and think "I can't just stay outside, and I can't get in. So I'll just walk to someone else's place."
Note: all my friends lived about a mile away. I walk for 100 feet and then go "Nah that's dumb" and walk back.

Then I remember that the kitchen area (which is communal, my room was detached from the rest of the house) is sometimes left unlocked. Sure enough, it was.
So I go in and sleep on the floor under the kitchen table.

I luckily woke up at 7, before my landlord could find me or my scattered possessions, find my keys, wallet, phone, and backpack outside my door, and then slept until my first class at 1.

Needless to say, I dropped that class.

That's the worst drunk story I have.

 

[Master_Craig]

Wait, why did you have to go?

I dunno. My friend just wanted to evacuate ASAP. To this very day, I still don't know why we had to leave so urgently.

Just read your story. That's a horrible feeling when you're super drunk and you think you've lost something important, like keys.

 

[Eyebrowsbv31]

So if you Master Craig lots of beer, he'll do your laundry. Awesome.

I have a sort of sad one that wasn't me but I was there for a chunk of it. Years ago (say 2005) a bunch of us idiots from dexworld.org (a old school CS/Day Of Defeat Community that's 99% dead now) were up late playing DoD with a moderator named Wolfman. Wolfman was drunk on his ass, singing, having a jolly old time, until he stabbed his thumb with an expired Epi-pen that he was fucking around with.

Needless to say, his hand swell up and his thumb turned purple, and we convinced him to seek some medical attention, like say call a ambulance. But he decided to drive, drunk as fuck to the hospital, he got busted halfway there.

Because he's some sort of specialty engineer of pre-fab buildings they gave him a choice: Go to jail for quite some time or go to Iraq as a contractor building shit for the military/locals.

He picked Iraq. He did not enjoy it, but made it back alright and booze free.

tl:dr don't play with epi-pens while drunk, it can land you in Iraq.

 

[Master_Craig]

tl:dr don't play with epi-pens while drunk, it can land you in Iraq.

Holy shit.

 

[Master_Craig]

I got another one. It's probably not as exciting or funny as the last one. It's a short one.

One of my closest friends has a sister. This was her 18th birthday party back in 2012. In Australia, the legal age to drink is eighteen, so naturally when you turn eighteen, you go out and get hammered. The party was at one of the local night clubs where I live.

I'm not a violent person. I'm a bit of a pacifist and I don't like conflict. In the rare case of someone wanting to have a go at me, I will try to talk to them to diffuse the situation. Drunken me thinks differently.

So I'm pretty drunk and I'm grabbing a beer at the bar. I'm trying to make my way through the crowd back to my friends and I accidentally bump into this guy. I spill my drink, he spills his drink, I'm embarrassed.

"I'm SO sorry!" I apologize.

"You f---ing c---!" he responds.

Whoa. Holy crap. That wasn't very nice. Now, normal and sober me would have been shocked and would have profusely apologized, but drunken Craig, while a bit shocked, took a good look at this guy. He was a smaller bloke, probably about 5'8 or so (meanwhile I'm 6'3 and over 200 pounds) and for some reason... I just started laughing at him. In his face.

I walked past him and continued to cut my way through the dance floor, but I stopped because I felt really bad. So I turned around and thought about going over to him and apologizing.

I saw him, staring at me across the dance floor. Fists clenched, shoulders rising up and down, breathing heavily. He was pissed.

Then for some reason, I did this.

How or why he didn't punch me in the back of the head, is completely beyond me.

 

[FrozenBacon]

Ok, I got a drunk story to share. Actually I have a ton of them to share, but this one is pretty important because it involves everclear and is the first time I drank alcohol.

First time I got drunk was way back in 2004, at the age of 17, when I was a freshman in college (for the first time). I randomly ran into a guy I knew from highschool while I was waiting for the bus. He invited me to his cousin's birthday party, which led to the following series of events.

It was at a house of one of his cousins. There was also this 21 year old girl who was the source of all the booze, which was pretty sweet. There were also drugs galore at the party, cocaine, ecstasy, marijuana, all the shit. Those guys knew how to party. Someone handed me a cup full of pure everclear, and since I was a stupid kid who never got drunk before I chugged it despite its ultra shit taste. After what felt like 10 minutes later I felt drunk AS FUCK. I knew I was pretty wasted because my vision was doubled. From that point the night was nothing but random memories here and there. Remember seeing birthday boy getting high as fuck off of ecstasy, just running around touching everyone's face because he loved the way people's skin felt. I also remember pissing for what felt like 15 minutes straight. Remember puking all over the front door and then apologizing like crazy as the girl who hosted the party cleaned it up in a panic because she didn't want her parents to clean up the mess. I chose the garden to be my new puke spot for the rest of the night. I don't know how much I drank over the night but I did get quite a few refills.

My buddy said I went upstairs with a girl into the bedroom but I literally did not remember that shit. For like half a year I was seriously confused as to if that was how I lost my virginity. The only thing I remember was staring at her ass, thinking how hot it was. However, knowing me I probably just went in the bedroom with her and talked about bullshit for like 30 minutes.

The next morning I woke up in my underwear on the couch with a wicked hangover. Someone fed me bread and then we smoked a bowl together. My college bud drove me home and kept commenting that I was high as fuck because I could do nothing but talk about how many colors were in the sky (that was also my first time getting high).

Anyway, that was the one of the two times I ever got so drunk that I literally could not remember what happened for some of the night.

 

[Master_Craig]

^ Holy crap. My first "when I got drunk" story is no where near as entertaining as that.

Long story short, was sixteen years old, walked around the town with two mates looking for friends to drink with, but because I was so fat and unfit back then, it was a torturous night for me where I just ended up super tired, sweaty and wanting to go home all night. The end.

I do have another story that once again involves beer. No everclear, sorry. It's a long one.

So, I've got a good mate who is probably one of the nicest, sweetest people you'll meet, until he touches alcohol. When that happens, he has the potential to become manifest into a complete dickhead, the kind who gets angry easily and wants to try and fight his own friends. This was back in '09 and we were celebrating his 22nd birthday.

The night begins at his place, where we're all enjoying a barbecue dinner. Here where I live, we have our own state beer, "NT Beer", it's a comical, almost novelty beer that always comes in a two liter bottle and is probably the most disgusting alcoholic substance you can shove down your body. Birthday boy manages to "scull" the whole bottle in one go. In an instant, he begins to projectile vomit across the garden, before clapping his hands and announcing "Let's go to town!" (town being night clubs). At this point, I should have just gone home.

So we went to town and we stopped by an Irish pub. Within minutes of arriving, the birthday boy gets bounced by security. When I go outside, everyone who was at the party was gone, they ditched him. I called one of my friends and asked where he was, and he laughed saying "Dude, he's way off, it's going south from here, you should go home too". I thought that was a pretty douchey thing to do, so I was foolishly determined to stick around and insure my friend makes it home in one piece.

So I stopped drinking, decided now would be the time to try and sober up. We walked around for ages looking for a place to drink, and eventually my friend found this drunk random guy, crying and saying his brother will beat him up (not my friend, but himself). My friend basically stood with this guy for ten minutes, psyching up by screaming "YOU'RE A WARRIOR, NOTHING CAN DEFEAT YOU, YOU'RE A WARRIOR!"

"I'M A WARRIOR! I AM UNBEATABLE!" the guy started shouting back. Jesus.

So now that my friend has turned this guy into a Super Saiyan, we leave and go into a bar, where my friend manages to strike up a conversation with two women - who are probably in their fifties. These two said women also had partners (boyfriends or husbands, I dunno) who came along and tried to fight my friend. He tried to fight them, but luckily the bouncers pulled everyone a part, while I pulled my friend out of the bar.

Eventually, I convinced my friend that it was time to go home, so while we're waiting for a taxi, this random van pulls up. The lady asks "You boys need a ride?", I hesitate, but my friend jumps in the van immediately.

This was a grade A, proper hippie van. Beads hanging from the ceiling, smell of a funny smoke, a Goddamn disco ball, and a random dog. I'm not kidding, this woman was a time traveler from the 70's.

So she takes us back to my friend's house and he tries to convince her to come in and have some drinks, but she denies it. I encourage the decline, attempting to get my friend out faster. We finally get out of the van and my friend tries to jump over his fence, falling over head first. I panic, see if he's okay and he responds "OF COURSE I'M FINE. I'M A WARRIOR" before he runs out into the middle of the road, attempting to take his shirt off, and then falls over onto his back.

It's about 4 AM right now, and my friend's dad comes out onto the road, "You've gotta get up, mate. Get inside. You're embarrassing yourself." my friend wouldn't budge, taking refuge on the road. His dad says to me "Thanks Craig, but you should go home. It's late. Don't worry about this mess." I tell him that I'm gonna try and get him off the road and inside. Shortly after, my friend's older brother comes out,

"Get the fuck off the road." he says. My friend responds, "Fuck you!" and instantly, his brother punches him in the face. My friend is so drunk that he didn't even feel it.

I notice my friend is laying down in a Goddamn puddle. I kneel down beside him, "Hey man, get up, we gotta get you out of this puddle.", he responds "Fuck off, I'm taking a piss!", I ask "What?" and he repeats "I'M TAKING A PISS!"

I look down, and the puddle that he's laying in is expanding. My knees are in this puddle.

Yeah, okay. Fuck this.

So I get up, I decide to leave and my friend gets up after me. He tries to convince me to stay for more drinks, I angrily tell him off, but at the same time, I'm essentially scolding him while making sure he climbs into his damn bed.

So finally, the adventure was over, but it was now 5 AM I had to spend the next hour walking home, with piss all over my trousers.

If people tell you to just leave the guy, then maybe you should.

 

[Green_Lantern]

Long story short

I'd hate to see your long story long.

 

[Master_Craig]

Long story short

I'd hate to see your long story long.

Long story short, was sixteen years old, walked around the town with two mates looking for friends to drink with, but because I was so fat and unfit back then, it was a torturous night for me where I just ended up super tired, sweaty and wanting to go home all night. The end.

That was the short story. The story after that is something else. The Piss Incident.