Bretimus_v2 said:
Two minutes in the bin for us. My kids don't respond "positively" to spankings; they just get physical back at you. The time out works like a reset button. The important part for us is the "return". We restate the offense, remind the consequence and reinforce affection. The four year-old (it was his b-day on Saturday) responds really well, but he's also the easy one. Most of our parenting discipline has been through a positive responsibility chart.
I have a 4 year old daughter and a 2 year old son. I used to smack my daughters hands whenever she went for something dangerous to get the point across (scissors, wall plugs etc etc) and it seemed to work. So far she's very responsible and even guides my son on what they can and cannot touch or play with. But of course kids will be kids and you still need to watch out for them.
My first line of dealing with bad behavior is time outs, be it sending them to there rooms, or making them stand in the corner, hands at there sides and facing the wall. The longer they scream in there rooms, the longer they stay in there until they get the hint. The more times they bounce up and down or don't look in the corner the longer they stand in the corner.
If said time outs don't work then yes, I will give my kids a smack on the ass. I give them fair warning beforehand and explain to them why they're in trouble and how to solve the problem. After I spank them, I kneel down beside them and ask them why they got a spanking. Until they tell me what they did wrong, they aren't allowed to go anywhere.
I will admit, I have given my daughter a smack on the head before. But it's not something I do often because those types of behaviors translate through the child into there interactions with other kids. Sometimes it's a sudden reaction from my behalf based on what she has said (swear words, snobby little attitude on her face). That, I got from my father.
What I cannot stand, and will not tolerate is disrespect from my kids when they are TRYING to be disrespectful. I refuse to be one of those parents in public who have to drag screaming kids around and get yelled at because I won't buy them a toy or candy.
My kids listen to me when I break out the "countdown" from 3 or if we are in public and I snap my finger to tell them to stop with a point in there direction. I get a lot of compliments when I'm out by myself and the kids listen to me and behave. but they also look happy. I take a lot of pride in it.
That being said, I feel my kids don't hate me. They still want to play, tell me they love me, give me hugs, want me to sing them bedtime songs and all that jazz and for me that's the perfect balance.
The wife complains sometimes that I'm too strict with the kids, but then she turns around and gets upset because they don't listen to her like they do with me .. they walk all over her all the time.
One of the best peices of advice I ever received from my family was "if they are young, and they haven't napped it's usually not there fault for breaking down". I find if I make them nap before we go out for the afternoon everyone is a lot happier.