I need a MEDIC! MEDIIIIC!

[MattAY]

As of yesterday at 5:29, I had a niece....as of yesterday at 5:30....I had a nephew AND a niece!

wooohoooo, now I can teach how to suck at Halo to TWO people! She had to have a caesarian, which obviously went A-OK, 100% healthy baby...but this got me thinking about hospitals....which THEN got me thinking about the time I was in hospital.

When I was 10 I jumped off of my climbing frame from too high up, and my hip started to hurt after I landed. Went to the hospital for a scan and my thigh bone had basically jammed into my hip bone. Whilst it was painful...the treatment for it was the best:
Stay in bed with my leg in stirrups whilst I watched cartoons in bed all day - BOOM! I was in there for 3 days.

That's probably the worst injury I've ever had too, not exactly a serious one - but I ask all of you: what's the worst injury you ever had? Ever broken a leg or bled a pint of blood onto the tarmac? SHARE my friends!

 

[Chris_Crime]

I broke my middle finger in a football game in the 8th grade. It got stuck underneath one of the opposing player's shoulder pad shellings. I didn't know it at the time, I just knew my finger hurt. Went home and ate dinner before going to the hospital. I was afraid of needles, so they reset the finger without anesthesia. Like a boss, I was waving my middle finger at my coaches and teachers for weeks until it healed.
not really a bad injury, thankfully.

Lost a bunch of teeth the first time I learned to ride a bike. slipped in some water. boom, 3 to 4 teeth gone. baby teeth, though, so it doesn't count.

Bitten by a pitbull once while on the job. That sucked. Went into shock later in the night because the hospital thought I didn't need stitches. Very weird thing that going into shock business.

 

[MrHimashi]

I think I was like 6 or 7 maybe, but it was winter and I was at daycare. Hot chocolate was being served inside and I was pumped for that shit.. so I ran into the house as fast as I could, I get inside and trip on the first step and eat shit hard, I ended up biting the end of my tongue off a little bit.

Pretty awesome scar there to this day.

 

[Ashalar]

My dad and I had this period in which we would trade insults to each other. It got out of hand after a while and we could really piss each other off.

So I headed over to a friends place across the road after trading a few barbs back and forth and came back an hour later or so. I did not bring my keys and my dad locked up for the night. Now the doorbell wasn't working so I started knocking on the door and the window to the living room.

No response, so I got pissed because I figured that my dead was fucking with me yet again. So I decided to knock a bit more forceful on one of the little windows in the front door.

Knock! Crack! Break!

I punched right through the glass, sliching the pinky and ring finger on my left hand. Of course that my dad heard, who started yelling which pissed me off as I was bleeding quite a bit, since it was a rather deep cut.

Eventually we rushed to the emergency room, since I started to look a bit pale and the blood kept pouring. Two of my fingers had to get stitched and I had to wear a big ass bandage around my pinky and ring finger. The plus side was: it was my left hand, the very hand I use for writing, so that gave me a nice excuse to write as little as possible during class.

Oh, and why did dad not open the front door? He was on the crapper.

 

[Longo_2_guns]

So, last year, I was carrying in groceries like any other week. Though my dad got something special, since he was going to a birthday party later. A bottle of champagne. Not a nice one, mind you.

Anyway, I was carrying it in when the bag holding it broke, causing the champagne to fall and break. I don't know if you've ever seen it, but a bottle of champagne doesn't just break, it explodes. And that it did.

At this time, I looked down and saw the large gash that had formed on my leg. Honestly, I thought a chunk of flesh got cut out. I swore like crazy, collapsed on the ground, and threw up. Luckily, all I had before was some chocolate ice cream. My parents also had the door open and heard it, so my dad came out and duct taped paper towels around the wound. I then hobbled downstairs to my room and grabbed my wallet (and I was in GR's LiveChat at the time so I told them) and then we went to the hospital.

Ended up with 14ish stitches. 7 on the inside, 7 on the outside.

So what did I do after I went to the hospital?

I went to that birthday party. It was a more family friendly, laid back type, but still. And then I just went to a friend's house after and spent the night. Because I'm tough.

Regardless, I still have a big scar on my leg.

There are other stories from when I was younger, but they're for another time.

 

[intoTheRain]

broke my nose three times... hockey puck, basketball, foot. (the three things that caused it)

broke middle finger

dislocated my leg play fighting with a buddy was the most painful. didn't hurt when it happened, i relocated it myself accidentally, i was walking around and ready to go out. we got in a cab and half way there i couldn't take it and had the cabby drop me off in the hospital. my leg was 3 times it's original size. i waited in the hospital for 5 hours, from about midnight until 5 am, and gave up and went home to sleep. went back the next day and waited 5 hours but finally saw a doctor. the relocation was fine, pure luck, because if he had to fix it it woulda really sucked. it was dislocating my leg that made me buy world of warcraft finally. because i couldn't move for 1-2 weeks from the pain. i just sat in my computer chair. that's sadly my most exciting injury.

doc told me i was lucky because frequently in leg relocations the artery in your leg can get severed. even when relocated properly by a professional. it was so shocking when it happened. i grabbed my buddy from behind in a choke hold and he instinctively kicked my leg out from the side.. (i still think hes a prick), and my leg just buckled like jello, was so fast. he hit it just right. everyone around me was just staring pointing in shock at my deformed leg. as soon as i hit my back i hit my leg with my fist on the right side just to numb the pain and it like popped back together all sexy like. laid there in shock and got up and walked it off. thought i was going to be fine.

went to the hospital once with a lung infection. once with a hernia. once with a cut finger from doing dishes.. glass smashed while washing it.

 

[Gunner37]

When i turned seven i had a birthday party later that weekend and for some reason we had a crap load of balloons which is weird because we never bought balloons for a party really anyways we had a little replica of a wooden bat from one of our hometown teams and one of my friends was hitting the balloons with the bat but little did he know that my face was behind some of them talking to another kid at the party and bam got a bat across the head got like 14 stitches and nice scar right next to my left eye

 

[kingg5]

Damn i've been in the hospital so many times it isn't funny. Not too long ago in cause of Pnemonia. Broke almost all my fingers, didn't really go for every break though. Fucked up my knees from falling off a one story roof, while working on it, ETC.

 

[LinksOcarina]

Congrats dude on the nieces and nephews.

I was only really in the hospital twice for injury or sickness, first time I broke toe at a soccer tryout...which basically ruined any chances of me playing soccer in high school since I got cut after that.

Second one was a stomach blockage. I had to go on a diet of lots of fiber and Metamucil to clean that up...

Worst injury though was when I was stabbed with a pair of scissors. A kid I was teaching thought he would get me to back down and stabbed me in the leg. Instead of screaming, I pulled it back out and asked him to not do that again calmly. He literally shat himself and didn't say a word for the rest of the class we were in.

Later on I screamed in pain.

 

[StickyGreenGamer]

I've never really been to badly injured, never bad enough to earn a night at the hospital. I twisted my ankle pretty badly once, but that wasn't much. When I was 4 we had a hot tub in our backyard, and we hadn't been using it for a while cause it was cold or dirty, or something. Anyways, my dad finally got it up and running, told us we could use it. My brother and I started running towards it, I slipped, slammed my chin on the wooden steps. Tore it open, had to go get stitches. Fun.

Worst I've seen though was my brother. He was trying to sneak out of the house one night, fell off the roof, caught his arm on a nail used to hang the Christmas lights. Ripped his arm open nearly 75% around. Gnarliest thing I've ever seen.

 

[tinymhg]

One story only. When I was 4 or 5 years old I was playing at the next door neighbor’s house, running up their driveway towards their car. Just as I was getting close to the backend of the neighbor’s late 50’s car with sharply pointed tail fins, my Grandmother yelled out my name distracting me. Needless to say I hit the tail fin with my face, and put a gash over my right eye. Lucky I didn’t put my eye out, but I have an interesting scar.

@MattAY congratulations on the new additions to the family, do I see babysitting in your future? Yes, I think I do.:lloyd:

 

[De-Ting]

My dad and I had this period

Haha.

 

[Wes]

Congratulations MattAY, or should I say Unkie Matt?

Not really an injury, but I did need an operation when I was 19 to remove my Gallbladder due to Pancreatitis. My family and I were dirt poor at the time so thank God for free Health Care.

 

[intoTheRain]

kingg reminded me.. been in for ear infections a few time, and for pneumonia.

i used to get terrible ear infections.. had to have tubes in my ears more than once.

 

[Bretimus_v2]

Tons of trips to the hospital. More than I remember I'm sure.

When I was five, my older brother and I were playing tag in the backyard. He went around a corner and knocked a shovel off of it's hook. It landed on my head and I got 6 stitches.

When I was eight we were at a swim party. It was getting dark and the kids were getting bored. My older brother and his friends started chasing me around the park throwing ice cubes at me. I looked over my shoulder to see where they were and when I looked forward. BOOOM! I ran into one of the support poles for a ramada. Split my head clean open, chipped some bone. Eight stiches.

Senior year of high school, busted my eyebrow open at swim team practice. Grabbed a pic of me touching my skull. Superglued by a physician.

I have two more. I think I've talked about them on here before.

Congrats, Matt.

 

[kingg5]

kingg reminded me.. been in for ear infections a few time, and for pneumonia.

i used to get terrible ear infections.. had to have tubes in my ears more than once.

Same here, I get terrible ear infections but not one for hospitals so I stay home and take it. Am I the only one who gets all discombobulated off of ear infections?

 

[intoTheRain]

kingg reminded me.. been in for ear infections a few time, and for pneumonia.

i used to get terrible ear infections.. had to have tubes in my ears more than once.

Same here, I get terrible ear infections but not one for hospitals so I stay home and take it. Am I the only one who gets all discombobulated off of ear infections?

well my severe ear infections stopped when i was about 14-15. i remember my last one in high school.

i used to get them on a monthly basis.. and parents being there and all they'd take me... but i lost some hearing in my left ear from them and that's with going to the hospital. i'd probably be deaf if i didn't go and get my ears drained.

and your ears are your balance, get an inner ear infection and you wont have good balance until it clears up.

 

[WickedLiquid]

My story is a little more... ummm... personal... Warning this might make you squeamish.

When I was a kid (14 or 15) I had a weird kidney stone that was preventing me from urinating and I had to undergo an operation where the stone was removed. I woke up high as a motherfucker on morphine with a catheter inserted into my penis.

After a couple days of peeing into a bag the nurse came into my room to remove it. She asked if it was ok if a group of med students watched her take it out. I was still high from all the drugs they were giving me so I agreed. And about 10-15 twenty-something students came in the room to watch. One of the girls was unbelievably smoking hot. Maybe it was the drugs, or the fact that I had been bed-ridden for a couple days. But this girl got me all riled up... The students tried hard to hide their laughter when the nurse pulled up my hospital gwon to reveal an erection. Like I said though, I was so high I didn't care. The nurse told me I had to calm down and she'd come back to remove it later. When she returned, she told me she's never seen someone with a catheter actually get an erection, and that I should win some sort of medal, LOL.



But anyway, congrats Matt. Make sure to teach your Nephew about the Asian Beauties and teach your Niece how to stay away from guys like that.

 

[kingg5]

LMAO that was a good one wicked, best hospital story I heard yet.

 

[Chris_Crime]

Lol'd, that's awesome bro. awesome, awesome story, Wicked.