A story about war: The Pesty Letter

Discussion in 'Films, TV, Music, Books, Etc.' started by Ted_Wolff, Nov 16, 2005.

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Which character should have died?

  1. Pesty

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  2. Andy

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  3. Sam

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  4. Gene

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  5. Clarence

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  6. The crowd in an explosion from the Germans

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  7. I wanted to see more Harry Potter-like magic

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  1. Ted_Wolff

    Ted_Wolff Rookie

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    OK FOLKS! Here's my second short story for my creative writing class. I thought I'd be a classy chum and share it with all of you so anyone out there with an assignment for class can pilfer it and turn it in. The requirement for this story was that it had to be historical. I chose the year 1941 for mine because it contained the music of big band and I had an idea of using Williams and DiMaggio's success as a metaphor for my story. In doing so, I pigeon-holed myself into not getting as much quality research as I wanted for the time and thus ended up using the story to vent my own incompetence!

    Please only negative comments. If I only get positive comments then I cannot feel like I'm rebelling against the status quo and feel hardcore enough to flex and woo my wife. Here it is!

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    A story about war: The Pesty Letter
    Written: Theodore "The Odor E" Ted Wolff


    Bird baths are for fowl play. This was news to Pesty, however, and he jerked a two strike pitch down the right field line for his team the Chronos, the ball crashing a feathered familyí¢â‚¬â„¢s haven as they washed, now showered, squawking over the foreign object that maimed the littlestí¢â‚¬â€
     
    #1
  2. CowboyMcGee

    CowboyMcGee Rookie

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    Clarence has to go!
     
    #2
  3. Ted_Wolff

    Ted_Wolff Rookie

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    Revised! I think I improved the setting, making it more telling of a baseball game and smoothed a few descriptions out.
     
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  4. CowboyMcGee

    CowboyMcGee Rookie

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    UGHHHHHH what an awful story

    Ash bat? pfft Maple all the way!!!!

    Sam Spade? what is this The Maltese Falcon?

    FIX IT!!!!!!
     
    #4
  5. Ted_Wolff

    Ted_Wolff Rookie

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    DON'T TELL ME HOW TO WRITE MY FUCKING STORY, CYNIC!
     
    #5
  6. MillaTime

    MillaTime Novice

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    Cool story bro.
     
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  7. Longo_2_guns

    Longo_2_guns Forum Moderator
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  8. MattAY

    MattAY Forum Moderator
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    12 year old necropost - way to go asshole.
     
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