What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?

Discussion in 'Films, TV, Music, Books, Etc.' started by Ted_Wolff, Dec 3, 2009.

  1. Ted_Wolff

    Ted_Wolff Rookie

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    Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

    Post your fav. Tiger Woods jokes! Let's all have a good laugh at a fallen celebrity to make our holidays happy!
     
    #1
  2. malakian

    malakian Rookie

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    Racist.
     
    #2
  3. schimmel

    schimmel Rookie

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    Wait... Tiger Woods is a fallen celebrity now? I mean I don't pay attention to anything regarding celebrities in the news so I wouldn't know but what happened exactly?
     
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  4. Green_Lantern

    Green_Lantern Forum Moderator
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    First he rammed his car into a tree somehow in his own neighborhood, then just like yesterday some chick came out and said that he had an affair with her...
     
    #4
  5. UrbanMasque

    UrbanMasque Everyone Wears a Mask

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    Let the public execution of Tiger Woods being.
     
    #5
  6. schimmel

    schimmel Rookie

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    Three letters: meh
     
    #6
  7. intoTheRain

    intoTheRain Regular

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    Tiger Woods reportedly changed his name to Cheetah Woods..

    SNAP
     
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  8. KoalaRainbowPoop

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    lets see. tiger has crashed his car, and has had three mistress speak out so far. yeap. go get em tiger.
     
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  9. MikeyVassallo

    MikeyVassallo Rookie

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    No, idiot.

    Lion Cheetah.
     
    #9
  10. intoTheRain

    intoTheRain Regular

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    k
     
    #10
  11. MikeyVassallo

    MikeyVassallo Rookie

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    Lying Cheeter.

    Shit, not that hard, retard.

    RHYMING!
     
    #11
  12. De-Ting

    De-Ting Rookie

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    Great...now he just needs to turn white and have a shrunken nose...
     
    #12
  13. Longo_2_guns

    Longo_2_guns Forum Moderator
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    If I was Tiger Woods, I'd have 3 mistresses also. Big fucking whoop.
     
    #13
  14. MattAY

    MattAY Forum Moderator
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    What do you call 300 white guys chasing 1 black guy?

    The PGA Tour.

    HA!
     
    #14
  15. MikeyVassallo

    MikeyVassallo Rookie

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    Yeah, but he has lived off of his image. And his image is that of a family man with young kids and a Super Model wife who could have also had several men, but she decided to play mommy at home.

    Dude is a fucker. Honestly, I'd rather he were like John Daly- just a pig of a man, but a good golfer. But no, he had to play up the "goody goody" to make his money.

    Now he is going to pay for it.
     
    #15
  16. Trippysmurf

    Trippysmurf Rookie

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    The issue summed up in a few easy steps

    1) Tiger's supermodel wife noticed female names and frequent calls to them on his phone.
    2) As his wife is searching for more contacts, he calls one of his mistresses and tells her to delete her voice mail so that if the wife calls, it will seem like a generic number and not a 24 year old skank.
    3) The wife finds some incriminating evidence and chases Tiger out of the house.
    4) In the process of driving away, he runs into a tree.
    5) His wife takes a golf club and attacks the car and/or Tiger. There is a rumor she knocked out some of his teeth.
    6) Tiger doesn't go to the hospital and doesn't issue a press release, which is stupid on his part.
    7) Numerous mistresses come out, some with audio recording of him telling them to play it cool.
    8 ) Tiger finally says he's sorry on his website.
    9) Sure he's a professional athlete that thought he was better than God and could get away with this shit, and has a pre-nup. But he also has two kids and rumors abound that he's a piss-poor father.
    10) We wait for inevitable speech to the press with his wife next to him where he apologizes, loses some sponsors, but still has more money than all of us combined.
     
    #16
  17. intoTheRain

    intoTheRain Regular

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    oh ok
     
    #17
  18. LinksOcarina

    LinksOcarina Rookie

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    True or not I don't give a damn about any of this, because it really should not affect his golf game unless if it does mentally.
     
    #18
  19. GiftedMonkey

    GiftedMonkey Rookie

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    ^ This doesn't have anything to do with his game, Links. It has to with AMERICA. We've been building Tiger up for so long, its time we crucify him! Because that's just the way we do things around here.
     
    #19
  20. Longo_2_guns

    Longo_2_guns Forum Moderator
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    And now for the inevitable joke.

    He's black. Of course he's a poor father.

    Alright, I'm done.
     
    #20

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