Most embarrassing farts

danielrbischoff

danielrbischoff

Rookie
C'mon... we've all farted in public around people. I'll start.

English AP exam in my junior year of high school. Whole damn year has been leading up to this moment everyone is fucking freaked out because it's our first. I'm not freaked out. Everyone else studied during lunch. I ate.

"Open your exams..."

Lots of papers rustling, tearing, people adjusting. My stomach starts making noises and as soon as everyone sits down I have a long, high pitched wail followed by a horn honk. Tried not to react at all and probably really failed at that.
 
My highschool exams came at the same time i had a cold.
Huge room filled with people, all listening to my sniffles and coughs for several hours on end.
 
I was in the cough and cold aisle of a walgreens with my (now ex) wife and I felt the urge. I look to my right. I look to my left. The coast is clear so I drop the bass. It was like the alien tripods in the War of the Worlds remake. She looks past me in terror at the large black man now walking away from my left that I apparently just crop dusted. He's looking back at me with a 'what the hell man?' look on his face. What happened was that immediately after I checked my right and then looked to my left, he had come around the corner and was walking right behind me as I deployed the air bag.
 
Packed train on a hot summer day. The air was still and moist, my stomach unstable. I managed to let one out silently, but after the gruesome smell started lingering around and peoples faces twisting, I couldn't help myself from bursting into laughter. Felt the need to leave the train few stations early for some fresh air.

It's awful when you can't escape the situation.
 
Jr. High.

We were in the middle of a test and I farted really high pitch. Everyone laughed and looked at me, and I tried to play it off on my friend who sat next to me.

It didn't work.

I didn't fart again for a year.
 
I was once doing a drama class in school. There was an exercise where everyone was paired up and all had to lie on our back to do a monologue or something. One person went at a time so it was quiet, and whilst this kid in the corner was talking my partner whacks my tummy and on reaction, I made the floor rumble with this bad boy. Everyone laughs except the teacher and i get detention for it! My teacher thought I did it on purpose - dick.
 
I remember during high school I was sleeping in a study hall or class can't remember which but I woke up by twitching and then while moving I ripped one and it was extremely loud and was pretty funny
 
Was really drunk one night, Just had sex with this girl in her room. As I'm coming back from the bathroom,naked, I accidentally farted as I was walking to her bed. She acted like she didn't hear anything, and we went in for a second round of sex.

I still remember the drunken confusion and moment of awkwardness that fart caused me.
 
It wasn't really embarrassing, but...

Training at judo and doing ground fighting. I put my friend in an arm bar and ask, "Want to know how this is going to get worse?" "How?" they ask.

I farted.
 
I remember hanging out in high school with a bunch of kids. We were jumping on the trampoline and POOOOT! I wanted to die because several of them were girls. Then in the midst of all the laughing one of the girls farted to.

High school. Where we all hold our farts around the opposite gender.
 
Master_Craig said:
It wasn't really embarrassing, but...

Training at judo and doing ground fighting. I put my friend in an arm bar and ask, "Want to know how this is going to get worse?" "How?" they ask.

I farted.
Click to expand...

Man that is the worst! I hate having gas before jiu jitsu. It's so uncomfortable holding it in until you get a chance to get off the mat from rolling and just let it go. The closest I've ever come to that is a time I had someone in a triangle arm bar and I also had I think a peanut butter banana smoothie with protein powder like an hour before and some Jack3d for energy. I reaaalllly had to let one out but thankfully I was able to hold it in. It was one of those sessions where I had a bunch of tiny farts that needed to escape periodically so I was just hoping and wishing that I didn't do it in someone's face.
 
What are people's favourite types of farts? I love the airy ones. But I suppose you cant beat a good thumper when sitting on a plastic chair.
 
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