I'm having a crappy day.

UrbanMasque

Everyone Wears a Mask
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Tell me a joke.
 
Super Mario was relaxing at home when he received a note in the mail. It seems Peach was kidnapped again. Mario had just eaten a large plate of Lasagne and wasn't in the mood to get up and rescue her.

"Oh Luigi!" Mario said half asleep on the couch. "Can you-a go and rescue the Princess this time?"

Luigi was taken back. "Me? But I wouldn't know what to do all by myself."

"JUST DO IT! You can take-a Yoshi"

So Luigi hoped on Yoshi and off they went to rescue the Princess. They battled through 8 worlds, each one more challenging than the next. Finally, Luiigi and Yoshi made it to Bowser's Castle and after an epic showdown Luigi defeated Bowser and saved Peach.

Peach looked Luigi over and she was quite taken with his slender build over Mario's gut. Yoshi brought the two of them back to her castle where he dropped her off. Peach gave him a big kiss and her phone number and told him to call her.

As Luigi was riding off Yoshi said "hey you think Mario's going to be upset?

"That fat fuck?" Luigi responded. "He won't get in my way any more. I poisoned his Lasagne."
 
Come on Urbs, you cant deny this CLASSIC:

There's an English man, Irish man and a Scotsman. They're being chased by a policeman. They see this old warehouse so they run in. Inside there are 3 empty sacks on the floor. They each jump in a sack. In comes the copper and see's these three bundles on the floor. Goes up to the first one and kicks it. The English man shout out, "Woof Woof", and the copper thinking it's just an old dog leaves it and kicks the second sack. The Scotsman yells out, "Me-ow me-ow", he leaves this one as well thinking its just an old cat. He walks over to the last sack and kicks it, and the Irish man yells out.. "Potatoes Potatoes..!"
 
Awww WHAT?! Urban - YOURE DEAD INSIDE! No emotion!! How can you not enjoy some of these insanely CLASSIc jokes!??

Screw it, I hope your day at work fuckings sucks - jerk.

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